A Little Help For Men Trying To Understand Women!

reply to post by liveandlearn


I'm 23, live in London, decent looking and I can listen better than SDog can, plus I love cuddles. And I'm willing to travel for cuddles.

Originally posted by _Phoenix_
reply to post by liveandlearn

 

I'm 23, live in London, decent looking and I can listen better than SDog can, plus I love cuddles. And I'm willing to travel for cuddles.

Can't argue with any of that ...




so I won the lottery so what

Originally posted by schrodingers dog


Can't argue with any of that ...




so I won the lottery so what

Good,

Looks like I'm gonna get my private jet ready.....



[edit on 20-8-2009 by _Phoenix_]

reply to post by _Phoenix_



Well I am flattered, but you missed a serious criteria. Over 60!!!.

However I do have a beautiful civil engineering student granddaughter who would appreciate those qualities.

She once told her younger brothers (who are very protective of her) that they could run her bath for her.

We are talking about catering to every whim here.

We are all very different, aren't we.

reply to post by _Phoenix_

And I'm willing to travel for cuddles.

Hey as to the above...me too.

I go dancing and tell everyone I go more for the hugs from my friends than for the dancing.

reply to post by liveandlearn


Ok, so in a transparent and desperate effort to try to rescue this thread back to the OP ...

Out of all her points, are we to take it that cuddles and huggles are the most important thing?

Or is my mother still an issue?

reply to post by schrodingers dog


Well from my general idea of what women want, they want cuddles and bad boys.... .....but then again some don't want bad boys, and some don't want cuddles, and then some don't even want men, they want women! haha

So I think the real deal is this, nobody knows what women want, because every woman is different. We gotta stop trying to figure out what women want by generalising them! we have to stop putting them all in one group and judging them or trying to understand them.

Instead we have to figure out what each single woman in the world wants. All woman are uniquely beautiful in different ways, each woman has a their own beauty that is unique to her, that special something that makes her different, and this also applies to their needs, all women have unique needs.

Same goes for men, so if you wanna be my firend here's my need, I'm gonna need some of that lotto money ok?

p.s I don't think this is the first time we have challenged each other over a lady.

[edit on 21-8-2009 by _Phoenix_]

Originally posted by liveandlearn
reply to post by _Phoenix_

 

Well I am flattered, but you missed a serious criteria. Over 60!!!.

However I do have a beautiful civil engineering student granddaughter who would appreciate those qualities.

She once told her younger brothers (who are very protective of her) that they could run her bath for her.

We are talking about catering to every whim here.

We are all very different, aren't we.

Ah well maybe in another lifetime.

Or if I create a time machine?

p.s protective brothers scare me!

reply to post by schrodingers dog

Ok, so in a transparent and desperate effort to try to rescue this thread back to the OP ...

Out of all her points, are we to take it that cuddles and huggles are the most important thing?

The most important? Depends on the person.

But cuddles and hugs without the intents of the bedroom says so much more about how you feel about a person.

To me, it says, being with you, being in your presence (if you understand my meaning) is the most important aspect of your relationship.

If you love someone to the extent that being with that person overrides everything else, all the little annoyances become meaningless and petty.

Well, maybe that is just me. Way too flexible.

reply to post by liveandlearn


Well said.

I think the touches, cuddles etc such little acts can sometimes show a lot more meaning than sex, because the mans mind is clear and focused without the powerful sexual feelings clouding his mind.

[edit on 21-8-2009 by _Phoenix_]

Originally posted by _Phoenix_
reply to post by schrodingers dog

 

p.s I don't think this is the first time we have challenged each other over a lady.

Challenge?

You have misunderstood my intentions kind sir ...

I'm just trying to help you.

Aww dang, what a great post. Rekindles my belief in ATS!

Oh man, the “I love your mother’ part just set me to laughing.

But the crying part is real - sometimes we just need a good long sob.

Thanks for a great post!



EDIT:

Let me add.

Men, when we’re searching your pockets for anything you might not want to get put through the washer - it’s a dilemma!
We are not snooping.

We don’t want little pills of beer and cigar recites or notes from your little girlfriends to get all over the other dark clothes.

Clean out your own pockets - unless you want to get caught - and don’t blame us for just doing out job thoroughly and completely.



Here's something women want... *sob sob*

if I lay here
if I just lay here
would you lie with me - and just forget the world.

peace

[edit on 21-8-2009 by silo13]

Originally posted by silo13
Men, when we’re searching your pockets for anything you might not want to get put through the washer - it’s a dilemma!
We are not snooping.

Well that right there is illuminati level disinfo and deflection ...

If I hide a peanut between the roof shingles somehow my wife will "accidentally" find it.

It's like a sixth sense or something.

6. Its not that we don't love your mother, but really...do we have to like her?

reply to post by Greenize
thats funny! and for me. no, because i feel the same way myself.

trying to understand women is a constent for me, so i appreciate your thread big time. i always remember what Jack Nichlson said in terms of endearment. "how do i understand women? i think of a man,then i take away reason and accountability". on a more serious note. you women
get, and deserve, every respect from me. two reasons.,i'll mention for the men who read, but i bet i don't have to for you.
child birth
and that monthly hell you go thru.
respectfully
s&f for a great thread

if that fails....cry!

i just had to add
this reminds me
when i was growing up, my mom would get to certain points ,she didn't
know what to w/ my dumb ass. i''d always go along, like there was no problem any where for me to have to deal w/. but all she ever had to do
is turn on the water works. suddenly it was like the chimney fell right thru
my house of cards. sheer panic, and pandemonium, filled my whole life.
soon i was at her feet. no joke. i said, i did, what ever i had to.
i became the best diplomat you ever saw. pulling things out from
way deep down inside of me, anything to get her to know things were ok.
to cheer her up.
why?
well because i had the nicest man in the world for a father.
everything was always cool w/ him.
but= if he came home, and i was responsible for making my mom cry.
well just think of Wyatt Earp in the movie Tombstone. after his brothers got shot. no matter where i was , he was coming , and he was bringing hell behind him. i could get away w/ quite a bit. life could also go from heaven to hell at the drop of a tear.
i always understood it though. love.



[edit on 21-8-2009 by randyvs]

reply to post by Greenize


Thank you for the advice. Star and flag.
I'm currently meeting a girl, I'm hoping to be dating her in the near future but she is a bit of a tomboy (she admits this) does this mean she won't want to be held? just curious.

Originally posted by Greenize
I have heard said that women are hard to understand, hard to figure out. As a woman, I do not see myself as such. I suppose I might be able to see why we might be seen as complicated. I would like to take a moment and just explain some things if I may.

1. We do sometimes cry for no reason. Believe me when I say it doesn't have to have anything to do with anything that some else did. I know that personally, tears are a way for me to relieve pent up stress. I also cry when I am happy. I cry for friends...really...sometimes we just need to. Don't take it personally.

2. Sometimes we just need to be alone. Again, do not take it personally. I for one work with the public. There are people in my face all day long. This is very energy draining. Some time alone does wonders for the psyche. After a long day at work I feel spread rather thin if you will...it doesn't mean we don't love you or enjoy your company. Its healing.

3. Sometimes we really do have a headache or are just tired. Get up, put in 9 or 10 hours at work, come home cook dinner, do dishes, do laundry, bathe the kids, help with homework...whatever the case may be. We are not invincible and it doesn't mean there is some one else. Yet again, don't take it personally.

4. Pardon my french here, but yes we can be "bitchy". You would be too if your hormones were out of whack and you felt like your innards were in a vice and being squeezed and twisted along with your lower back, and your breasts were tender but you had to bind them into a torture device anyway and go on with your day like nothing is wrong. We love you, but back off!

5. Cuddling is essential without sex because it is comforting. Sometimes we just want to be held. It doesn't mean we aren't attracted to you anymore. See # 3.

6. Its not that we don't love your mother, but really...do we have to like her?

That it my two cents on the subject. I hope it helps!


Ladies feel free to add anything that I may have missed.

[edit on 20-8-2009 by Greenize]

1. Nothing is wrong with crying, all humans do it at different points in their lives. A lot of the crying you are talking about is mainly for attention, and then when we give it we are told to back off. If we do back off, give you space and leave you alone, we are told we do not care and give you no affection. Lose/Lose for us.

2. Men also want some alone time too. The problem is that we are made to feel guilty when we make plans to spend time alone. I find alone time is very therapeutic for my mind as well. Everyone can and should benefit from giving themselves time for themselves.

3. We understand this. We also work hard and although we might not do as much housework as you, we do not get as bothered about when it is not done as you do. But I agree that men should be doing some housework too. It's only fair.

4. That is perfectly understandable. I think most men acknowledge that this is a difficult time for women and try to keep their distance. However, men also have hormones and they cause us lots of stress at times. Sex is a great remedy for a lot of our hormone build up, just the biological nature of the male body. If we do not get release in some form it starts to effect our mental functions, moods and patience. There is no "off switch" for this just like there is no off switch for you when you get your period.

5. Don't be fooled by the mainstream media. If you are feeling sick, having a bad day or just plain not in the mood, we are still there to hug you without expecting anything further in return. Just do not lead us on if you aren't, or better yet say it plain and simple that that is the case. Don't expect us to know, we cannot read inside your mind.

6. You do not have to like my mother. But if you do not show respect for her then I will not show respect for you. It's common for In-Laws not to get along, but as long as they show respect and consideration for the other family, they can co-exist peacefully.



[edit on 21/8/2009 by Dark Ghost]

This is real Above Top SEcret stuff eh?
DEfo a good post for a conspiracy forum, dont ya think....
whats happened to this site?

This just in, fluffy rabbit seen in park......

women are simple, the ones that think they are complicated are usually just mentally scarred by various events in their life. probability of them being happy with any guy, perfect for them or not is pretty low. Conquer the demons within or you will live without...


love it, hate it, doesn't matter...your acquiesce is not a prerequisite of reality


guys, be a man, instead of the boy you were raised to be and act like, and the world as well as your luck with women will change for the better.

[edit on 21-8-2009 by injunfeller]

reply to post by schrodingers dog

Alright ... settle down there casanova ...

Cuddles ...

sheesh

So, SDog you didn't need a cuddle after the last Met's game?

Another book I highly recommend is:

You Just Don't Understand:Conversations between Men and Women.

Though it has a pop title, it is a scientifically based book. Very very insightful.


Back to the post: Women are basically emotional extroverts and men are emotional introverts. But they are trained to be that way. So there are a lot of problems in that themselves.

And since society is less accepting of emional men(though that is changing and that is great) men use their wives as emotional meters. Their security is based on how their wives feel about them. Since they were conditioned to not have feelings of their own, or know what to do with them.

That is why to women, men seem to get mad at nothing. Like, taking it personally when we are tired.

Or why they get more needy the more distracted we are.

Or they get mad at slights we can't even perceive.

For example: Husband offers a cup of tea because wife looks tired and can use a little pick me up. Wife says no thank you. Husband gets angry and feels rejected and unloved and stomps off. Wife just had an upset stomach and tea aggravates it.
Actually, that could work both ways.

Women are not alone on the emotional rollar coaster.

As for the time alone thing, that is crucial for the emotional extrovert. We get emotionally wrapped up in everything. And it is very draining and tiring. And we need that downtime to just adjust and re center ourselves.
curling up alone with a good book is the equivalent of hiding in the garage and re-arranging a tool rack.