Personal Attacks on members

reply to post by Kaytagg


It doesn't ruin it, but it doesn't contribute anything either.

When the doors are wide open, you are likely going to get some idiots wandering in

Well what can I say, in all the years as a member I have been in both side of the Isle, this a privately owner board with free membership.

Yes I am still here regardless, why? because the key to survival in a board as big as this one is common sense, and thick alligator skin.

Debate will always be part of difference in opinion, politeness, respect to some extent, but darn I will be bore if everybody just try to kiss my butt all the time without giving me a good run for my post.

So I think anybody can differentiate a good and heated debate from an insulting and denigrating one.

And to tell the truth the last ones are far and apart in this boards.

Originally posted by octotom
I think that some people get at one another's throats because they have strong opinions and they're too sure that they're correct. Others, if they believe in something that's not easily proven, feel threatened when their belief is questioned and they're not strong enough in their belief, or in other words, they don't know well enough how to defend it. I often see this with fellow Christians, which saddens me.

My experience with negative reactions to what I have said, no matter how benign, seem to be most acid-lased is when I get into some one with passionate religous views. The fact I don't believe in the literal interpretation of the Bible has me on several hate lists. No doubt some one is sticking pins in his little arbiture doll. At least one person is convinced I'm going straight to hell (at least I won't be loney). Anyone who thinks that things are absolute with no option for debate is a view I consider dangerous. It also prevents you from growing as a human being.

I take offense at those who mock or degrade others for their views, or insult someone because their not aware of every point made on every topic. Some of us have a life.

Originally posted by marg6043Yes I am still here regardless, why? because the key to survival in a board as big as this one is common sense, and thick alligator skin.

So true M. If it was all nice, nice, I would leave and find something with more of an edge. I actually miss the old "Tulip walker" days.

"If you can't run with the big dogs; stay on the porch"

A person can have a difference of opinion without be rude or a jerk.
It's just a matter of caring about other regardless.
Some people here must have no power in their lives so they come online and attack others. IMO

You can disagree and not be a jerk.

[edit on 23-7-2009 by cindymars]

I think most of the questionable attitudes being discussed on this thread are due to the anonymity of posting on a website, to begin with. I think most people feel less accountable for their actions while posting on this or any other site, than they would in real life. We don't even use our real names here.

Although there are still some people in real life who would be just as rude and/or ignorant in a face to face conversation, I feel that the anonymous nature of the internet can coax the worst out of many of us.

When I get flamed or insulted on here, as I'm sure we all occasionally do, I simply don't return such attitude in kind. I don't need the ignore button, either. I just don't entertain such juvenile antics. Firing back only makes you look as dumb as they look. And lots of times, they only want to get a rise out of you. Don't give them one and you win.

But in reality, this site is pretty calm and respectfull in my opinion. I'm a member of another major site, that's all about hockey. The people in there are pretty intense. Even the mods will cuss you out and insult you. About all you can't do is use a couple 4 letter words, and absolutely no personal threats are allowed. Other than that, everything goes.

It can be intimidating to post there at first. But after awhile, you realise that it doesn't matter. You get tough to it. You look past it and try to find their point. Address the point only and if there isn't one, don't bother responding at all. If one poster keeps being insulting with no point, generally, several other posters will jump all over them anyways.

And in time, you will get a thicker skin about it all. It's actually pretty easy, since such non-contributers simply don't matter.

Be well and happy posting.

reply to post by whaaa


Hey I still miss the old days of the Mud pit, I don't know if you remember, heck I was a newbie when I dared to step in it I go the worst time of my life, enough to make me run with my tale between my legs, the member that did that to me was a mod and he is no longer with us, but he gave me hell.

reply to post by Laurauk

Good thread Laurauk,

And right you are asking this question....

Iḿ guilty as charged of questioning certain members on these board about their behaviour concerning threads they have created.

..........but

i always stay polite and never attack member personally, perhaps maybe question their motives but why should that not be allowed??

S+F for the thread...

Peace

edit - forget the star but it;s the thought that counts anyway....

[edit on 23/7/2009 by operation mindcrime]

Originally posted by cindymars
A person can have a difference of opinion without be rude or a jerk.

Yes, but not everybody has the same rude/jerk flashpoint. Some peoples' perception of what's rude and jerky isn't the same as others, that's why the owners of this site have the Terms and Conditions. It's what we all have to play by, and we as staff have to collectively enforce the rules based on the T & C even if some of us don't agree with the collective decision. We're human too.

It's an imperfect science, but ultimately we (I think I speak on behalf of the staff ) like to have faith in the member's ability to regulate themselves emotionally. Those that are just being a jerk to be a jerk will come out in the wash eventually.

Peace

Originally posted by Static Sky
I think most of the questionable attitudes being discussed on this thread are due to the anonymity of posting on a website, to begin with. I think most people feel less accountable for their actions while posting on this or any other site, than they would in real life. We don't even use our real names here.

Spot on, the internet is a new way to communicate (compared to how long we have been communicating as a race) and when people dont feel that personal connection with others that you do face to face, or when you can hear their voice, i dont think it registers in the same part of the brain.

I would even go as far as to say that communication is art and impersonal art offers the opportunity for people to express another side to themselves, like the chemical cocktail that transformsDr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

When you have a forum dealing with off the wall subjects, hoax's, lying, conspiracies and other 'belief' based subjects it is bound to reinforce those little sub-concious alter ego's.

I think the way people are with each other on here is inevitable.

I normally wouldn't add this comment on this kind of a site but I guess it's eating at me and this is the perfect thread to say it.

I personally don't have opinions to share, I share only what I have seen, know and can prove to be fact. I do except that my fact from something I experieinced doesn't make it your fact. But it also isn't an opinion as it is still a fact!

There are way to many members that come on this site with the sole perpose of shooting the messenger. If they don't like the message they attack the poster, the source or simply change the topic of discusion to meet their agenda.

The bottom line is learning how to IGNORE!

[edit on 06/03/2009 by Rams59lb]

reply to post by Dr Love



Well put Dr Love!

When you have topics as sensitive as the many I have seen here and when people who are opposites on the discussion go head to head, there will be sparks. Sometimes both parties learn something a lil different, others they just fizzle out still steadfast with their own opinions....which is fine.

It is a good debate when both partys are able to bring well said arguments to the table.

The broader the thinking the better. I see red when someone starts arguing without saying something with substance or even reasonable support.

As far as the gangrage thing. It is hard to avoid that one anywhere in civilation. Not all people do it, I try to keep myself floating high enough to see both sides but am not always innocent. But the 'MOBseen' is just apart of what we are.

Its funny how that ugly part of our humanity cannot be stopped from repeating. It is on the family tree of the common consciousness that we are all slaves to.

"He then learns that in going down into the secrets of his own mind he has descended into the secrets of all minds" RWE


[edit on 23-7-2009 by Tank2/8]

reply to post by Laurauk


I enjoy the variety here. Most threads I visit are healthy debates but others are lightening in a bottle that I just have to uncork. I give my fair share of veiled critiques of members positions and like wise in turn receive sometimes not so veiled criticism.

ATS is a great place evolving silently right along with the rest of society.

reply to post by Dr Love


Cool that, Dr. Love, and believe me I too can be a real jerk.
I would say the B word more precisely however is that neccessary?

I just try not to involve myself with members I don't like.

Hi, politeness fans.

One thing that can trigger rudeness/disrespect is:

If someone "insults" our inteligence with totaly ridiculous and useless arguments,
**maybe** they attracted the rudeness they got. . .
. . .and deserved.. . .shhhhhhhh. . . B-)

Blue skies.

I'm gonna say this...not to dismiss this thread but more as a reminder.
TROLLS
They ARE out thier and are members of this site. They enjoy nothing other than flaming people and ridiculing small points in people's belief systems. I am a skeptic, not a debunker or troll. I put forth my arguement against but at the same time being atheist I will also refute any religious arguements. But not at the expense of a person's feelings. Regardless of what we believe KARMA will always be present. I have been and always will be an atheist and a believer in Karma. Silly and somewhat contradictory but...hey we all are.

Originally posted by cindymars
reply to post by Dr Love

 

Cool that, Dr. Love, and believe me I too can be a real jerk.

That has not been my experience, Cindy. You were my first tagged friend on this site. You're a sweety.

But I do miss your old avatar, though. Seven. MMMmmmmmmm.