'Gayby boom': Children of gay couples speak out

Originally posted by peacejet
reply to post by Gorman91

 

Its natural. Children are born to a mother and father. And both serve equal roles in the growth of the child. The absence of a mother can never be compensated by another father.

I understand that I'm late to the party, but this has to be said.

You ever heard of the butch and the b(*&ch? Usually one of the parties carries out the role of the masculine and feminine in most same sex relationships. So eaither way a child has someone to fill both those roles. Ever seen the movie the birdcage?

Seriously, I'm not a supporter of gay marriage mostly because what goes on between the sheets leaves a bad taste in my mouth Sorry couldn't resist...



[edit on 29-6-2009 by DaMod]

Originally posted by The Last Man on Earth
I think you guys missed my point.

I wasn't thinking paedophilia, or anything like that, I was thinking just the masculinity of the child. He is a young boy, he should be acting like a young boy, IMO. This is hard to do if you have no positive male influence in your life (aka your dad taking you out to play football).

As stated before since I have an active role in raising my nephew even today and for several years it was mostly me. My nephew is very well adjusted. For years now I have been practicing karate with him and basketball. He has no interest in football so we do not play football. I did take him out with a BB gun and did target practice.

I imagine the same goes exactly the way with two men and a young girl; how is she supposed to adjust herself to her pre-defined sexual role?

And before you all jump in going "hey! She can be whatever she wants to be!" etc, I say sure, she certainly can, however anything outside of normal is, again IMO, not good and as a parent is not what I would be striving for.

Since I had/have a niece in the same situation I'll clarify the difference between our ability to rear children. Her mother has the active role of custody now because the state prefers children to be raised by mothers.

Her mother's position:
Her mother teaches that school is not important and that she can just get married and be a housewife.

For several years her mother has been homeschooling and at the 6th grade she cannot write cursive and has trouble reading.

Her mother teaches that to be happy she must find a rich guy and depend on him.

She taught her zero about taking care of hygiene needs as she came of age (shoo!).

Her mother has made her self esteem so low that she sees herself as being nothing but a potential wife.

Her mother "expects" her to get pregnant so she can bring in additional income.

My position.
I told her she can be what she wants to be and that she should challenge her mother and get caught up with school because I am proud of her.

I have been working with her on cursive and phonics to help her read better but, I can only do so much when I only see her every other weekend now.

I tell her to be happy she must live to her own potential and not depend on anyone.

I as a gay guy had to sit her down and tell her about feminine hygiene and took her to the local pharmacy for her needs and show her what she needed to buy.

I told her that she doesn't have to have a child until she is ready. Getting married is her choice but, she should not get married in order to get by and by doing that she places her full well being into the hands of another.

Guess whom she wants to live with? Guess whom she talks about boys with?

I think by introducing these kind of strange situations you are forcing the children to deal with issues that they shouldn't have to deal with. It is literally the gay couple forcing their own selfish issues upon the child (wanting a kid) who did not wish for them and doesn't deserve them. If you have a boy raised by two women, who then becomes particularly effeminate because of it, that is going to hinder his ability to get a girlfriend.

You might think "psshhh, bull-honkey man!" but I have plenty of female friends and ex-girlfriends who have all been very fond of the macho-masculine-type (which is, I assume, why they dated me in the first place!). In fact, I don't actually know any women who, when you ask them who their fantasy man is, choose Julian Clary over Vin Diesel. You'd think, in this day and age, that it would not be a problem, that we would have moved beyond it, but the fact still remains that women are genetically pre-programmed to want a big, strong man! This is why I have friends who are smaller and more effeminate than myself's girlfriend's hitting on me at the very same party their boyfriends are at! I'm good friends with these guys, and their girls are also good people but they are somehow compelled to make sexual overtures towards me.

Most of any issues is from outside pressure, not from within. You are wildly speculating about effeminate boys being raised by only women. I can name two that raised boys that are now Marines. You seem to be blaming even their statue as being caused by being raised by women. At the same token why do you think gay guys have "fag hags"?

I'll tell you why. A greater majority of women wants a guy that takes the time to get to know them, that is gentle with them. They literally have crushes on gay guys because he does take the time to cater to their emotional needs. I believe that women are getting fed up with the uber butch guy that treats his women like property.

At the same token there are women that hunt, box, basketball, football, and teach their sons and not exclusively lesbians either.






[edit on 29/6/09 by toochaos4u]

Originally posted by felonius
The question is not should gays marry.

The question is where does it stop.

If you open interpretation that wide,
bothers and sisters
parent child
adult child
polygomy

So now we are comparing homosexuals to incest, pedophilia and poligamists??? This is yet another classic example of a Strawman!

This is just one more thing to tear apart the family and the country. Most of the conservative gays i have spoken with told me that they could care less about marriage on the grounds mentioned above.

Conservative homosexuals are as rare as hen's teeth, so either you just making that up, or you are involved in the Log Cabin Republican movement (who just happen to support same sex marriage). I'm going with the first one.

As far as tearing the family apart, how exactly is this tearing the family apart. Getting kids out of the foster care system and giving them a stable loving home? You go through a very long and intense vetting process before you are allowed to adopt a child.

As for tearing the country apart, if ensuring that every citizen enjoys the same rights as every other citizen is tearing the country apart, then let's tear this mutha up!!!! Unless of course, you want to live in Amerika!

They also told me that most of these "vocal" gays are the same ones are in it just to be non-conformists. They are the ones that are defined by their orientation and not there self and have a tendency toward narcissism.

Wow, are you just hatin' or what??? I don't know a single homosexual who does not support equal rights. And that's what this issue really comes down to, equal rights!!! Not special rights, not gay rights, just equal rights. But hey, you just go ahead and keep flinging mud and working hard to make the realization of Amerika a reality.

Originally posted by brokenheadphonez
reply to post by exile1981

 

Just another example to support my idea that the Canadian justice/legal system is irreparably damaged.

I just finished a course on engineering law in Canada...... The law is simple it's the thousands of weird pressidents that make it screwy. Some of the pressidents that have been quoted in recent court cases date back to 1700's British cases

reply to post by Deaf Alien


This may sound bias...so be it.

But in my opinion it is easier for me to accept two women taking care of a child rather than two men.

First, it happens all the time anyway. In some cultures it is a village or a community, mostly made up of women who take care of the children. Second, a mother has greater influence on a young child than a man. Through the bonding experience and other factors, a moms love is very important in the younger stages of life.

While I believe a father will have more affect on the child during puberty and adolescence; two gay men, whom act like women in my opinion should not be allowed to raise a boy from birth. The mental affects on the child I believe would be an additional factor that is very unfair for the child to deal with.

edit to add:

On the subject of marriage, being gay should not deny you the right to have the same priviledges of a husband and wife, but marriage is a subject of the church, and being non-christian, it is in my opinion it should be decided by the church as to allow them to marry or not...

if your gay and want to get married..do it at the courthouse, and leave the christians and religius folk alone. and visa versa..if your religious, leave the gays alone. To be honest it is more important of a topic about parenthood than eachs perspective about marriage...and it is getting tireing hearing about it in the news and other information sources..It shouldnt take priority in light of other events going on.

[edit on 29-6-2009 by open_eyeballs]

reply to post by open_eyeballs


I would only ask one question regarding the opinion you expressed. Do you feel that father's should not get custody of their children in a divorce? This is not meant to be argumentative. I may not agree with your opinion, but it was well written and I do believe it was sincere.

Originally posted by Captain Obvious

Originally posted by tothetenthpower
I wasn't aware there was a rule that dictated that ALL homosexual couples breed homosexual or messed up children?

My good man, I wasn't aware that homosexuals could breed anything at all. Homosexuals can't have babies unless they visit an orphanage in China.

Shouldn't this topic be labeled, "Adopted children of homosexuals speak out" or "Children of bi-sexual couples speak out"? Anyone out of elementary school knows that two men or two women can't have babies. Let them marry and retire to their bedroom to make all the babies they want. I wonder if anyone markets a pregnancy test to homosexuals? Probably not. Dang blast it! More discrimination.

Well Captain Obvious, you obviously did not understand what I meant when I said breed. I meant raise it simply was another term silly.

~Keeper

reply to post by JaxonRoberts


Of course I do, depending on the circumstances. But you are talking apples and oranges.

I dont see how 2 gay men can raise a child (especially from infant) as well as a good mother. If the child is an orphan at an age that shows his maturity then it should be his decision. Where he is not as easily influenced as a young child would be that doesn't understand the choices those men (daddys) have made.

reply to post by open_eyeballs


Then what would be the difference between a single father or two fathers? Again, not meant to be argumentative. I don't see the difference, so to me, it's apples and apples.

reply to post by JaxonRoberts


I think it is not best for children to be raised by only one sex, whether it be same sex couples or a single parent. Now I am saying this as a single man raising two children. I definitely see a need to have a women involved and I try to provide that for my children in multiple ways. Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses as parents. It is just natural, and kids do better when they are exposed to both types of parenting.

reply to post by JaxonRoberts

So now we are comparing homosexuals to incest, pedophilia and poligamists??? This is yet another classic example of a Strawman!

What he said was not a classic example of a strawman debate tactic. Your reply though is meant to misdirect the meaning of what he said as to make it look as though he is attacking homosexuals, which he is not.

He is not comparing homosexuals to incest, pedophillia, and/or polygamy. He is saying that if you change the definition of marriage to include homosexuals then you open up the ability to allow these groups to redifine marriage to fit their cause. These groups are no different than those pushing for gay marriage. They would have the same right to marry as a homosexual couple, because they are all just sub groups of the population that have sexual/love connections in an abnormal manner, meaning outside of the norm of human behavior.

it has nothing to do with pedophelia, or "fringe" behavior... stop diluding yourself

There is no rule stating how many parents a child needs, or of what sex those parents need to be

There is no study conclusively stating that a child is worse off without a mother or father

If 2 homosexuals can raise a healthy, well adjusted and most of all HAPPY heterosexual boy, then whats your problem?

and again, stop grouping homosexuals with pedophiles. Its sickening, and your a biggot if you do it. two concenting adults are not pedophiles, they are lovers

[edit on 29-6-2009 by Kevin_X2]

reply to post by grapesofraft


I can respect that. But a single sex parent(s) home that is permanent is far better than the foster home shuffle.

reply to post by grapesofraft


Another Strawman. You are also comparing homosexuality to sexually deviant behavior. In the other examples given, one of the parties is caused psychological damage or is psychologically damaged to begin with. Homosexuality has not been considered a psychological deviance for many, many years now. Apples and Oranges, i.e. Strawman.

Originally posted by heyo
hi deaf.

Good for him. Self-proclaimed nice-guy. Either way, it's fine, but this article kind of shoots gay marriage in the foot a little bit, probably unintentionally. While outlining how strong these kids were, it inevitably seemed that the kids went through a lot of inner torment due to having homosexual parents. No birthday parties? Ashamed of being ashamed? These are the kinds of things that leave lasting impressions, and form future mannerisms.

I don't see this as a shot in the foot of gay marriage. Just another example of the cruelty and immaturity of our society.

reply to post by JaxonRoberts


I want you to point out where exactly that I compared homosexuality to sexually deviant behavior. So I want you to use my own words, pull out a quote from what I wrote and show me where I said that.

Some of you are so oversensitive that if I said Hitler was a murderer and 10 seconds later I said Freddie Mercury was gay, you would claim I was saying all gay people are like Hitler and therefore gay people are all murderers.

[edit on 29-6-2009 by grapesofraft]

reply to post by Captain Obvious


Condescending claptrap!!!

You are obviously educated and erudite, yet you intentionally deflect from obvious alternatives available other than direct sperm/egg insemination.

With that sort of attitude might as well tell infertile couples not to use a surrogate, or adopt!!!

Harrumph!

My good man.

reply to post by JaxonRoberts


I agree that the Foster care system is a disaster in most cases, but just because a system is broken doesnt justify putting a child in a home with same sex parents or a single parent home.

Originally posted by grapesofraft
reply to post by JaxonRoberts

 

I want you to point out where exactly that I compared homosexuality to sexually deviant behavior. So I want you to use my own words, pull out a quote from what I wrote and show me where I said that.

Some of you are so oversensitive that if I said Hitler was a murderer and 10 seconds later I said Freddie Mercury was gay, you would claim I was saying all gay people are like Hitler and therefore gay people are all murderers.

[edit on 29-6-2009 by grapesofraft]

These groups are no different than those pushing for gay marriage.

you just directly compared the group of homosexuals to all other groups which fall under the category of sexual deviance...

Originally posted by The Last Man on Earth
One person does not make a demographic. He may be the exception that proves the rule.

Yea if you want the glass to be half empty i guess...