Baraq bans toilet paper?

I am feeling rather down, watching my great civilization be destroyed by this illegal alien in Washington. I was looking for some Baraq toilet paper. I found an article that states he has made a decree, or Exec Order, that all TP will be banned in the US on January 1st, 2011. The Romans used to carry around sponges on sticks, and he would merely require 'wipes' to be washed like diapers. He can turn his butt green, but my butt is none of his business. So it sounds like a joke. Is it a hoax, or is it a joke on America? Anyone know?

If it's real there isn't any reference to it that I can find.

In the highly unlikely event that this ever does ring true I am so going to be the bootleg two ply connection in my neighborhood.

I still can't believe it's 2009 and we're still wiping our asses with paper....

I vote we go to the three seashells method...(Demolition Man)....


Here's my idea of what it "should" be.

Press seashell #1 = activates as a strong bidet
Press seashell #2 = activates a high pressure blow-dry system
Press seashell #3 = activates a slight deodorant spray

If I ever have the dough, I am so building this in my house (and will have such fun as guests puzzle over how to use the three seashells,