I did a radical thing...

reply to post by deadline527


Considering what my children have seen in their life with my ex husband..you need not worry about them drinking or doing drugs.

Wow, look who is being rude and misinterpreting now? The child protective service thing was not aimed at you to say you were an abusive parent. They only said that some people may think that, as stupid as it is. Heck, they made a second post just to explain what they meant to you. Maybe YOU should read what other people post before jumping to YOUR own conclusions. No disrespect or anything but I get more of a mean vibe from your posts when I read them than what any other person posted.

You say your kids could go out to a friend's place and watch TV and play video games? Then why take it away all together and just minimize the time they spend doing those things because that is basically what you are doing by allowing them to go to a friend's house. Sooner or later you are probably going to notice that they will be at that friend's house more than they are at your own place, just saying.

I'm glad you are trying to do what is best for you children. To each his (well her) own.

reply to post by HarlieQuinn


Hence every point I made previously.
enough said..

Please show me where I verified your point instead of being rude about it. Actually, no, don't because I'm not going to visit this forum again just to get trashed talked by a woman that cannot make a point without being rude. I hope your kids turn out great ^_^. And I'm glad your children have seen what harm drugs and alcohol can do so they are not doomed to repeat it.

Much love,
HarlieQuinn

P.S. If you didn't want to see people's reactions to what you did, maybe next time you shouldn't post on the internet, just saying.

Wow, I just caught on to this thread, and all I have to say is WOW. I could probably go on for days with this, but I'll keep it as short as possible.

You're not a "mean parent", you're a clueless parent. So sorry if you take that offensively, but IMHO, you cannot do that to kids these days.

You said it yourself: "I noticed my kids playing outside and talking with their friends and a lot of the conversations revolved around the movies they watched or video games they played." (sorry, haven't figured the quoting out yet). So basically, you're going to detach you're kids from their social groups in order to fulfill your OWN agenda? Because YOU think it's a bad thing? Go ahead and say that your kids can make new friends, ones with similar interests and values, then everything will be okay.

Your sons have taken an interest in nature and drawing? I'm unsure as to your boys ages, but if they're between 4 - 16 you can expect A LOT more problems to derive from their "nature hikes" than playing Call of Duty. What's going to happen when their friends ask what they did this weekend and they reply, "we went on a great nature hike! I picked up some leaves!" while the other kids talk about their technology based experiences. They can kiss those friends goodbye...

I'm 23 and without technology, my life would be miserable. Not because it would make my daily tasks more difficult, but because if I was NOT raised with technology, I would have NO friends. AOL gave me a means of communication to my friends to coordinate activities, research my papers for school and learn about things that my parents would not have taught me otherwise.

I believe in moderation. While it is VERY possible to get sucked into our digital world nowadays, you cannot detach a human being from society, and by doing what you are doing, that is what will happen. I, along with many others I'm sure, would love to see the rebirth of family values, but let's face it, it's just not the way the world works anymore.

I am honestly not trying to offend anyone here, but some of your stories about how getting this cut out of your life opened up doors and whole new worlds. Well that's GREAT for you guys, but somewhere along the lines, you learned about technology, and now you're doing the same thing as me, mindlessly reading through conspiracy message boards on the internet. Looks like we ended up in the same boat huh?

I just wanted to say that technological advances were created for more than pure entertainment. They are a means to information as well as entertainment. What do you call this site? Info? Entertainment?

reply to post by Rockstar1102


why is it bad to detach kids from social groups that will not lead to success and have them meet new friends with better interests and mentalities? Now these kids are of a new kind of people who will not talk about music with nothing but the words "yea" and "wat?", nor will they talk in conversations with lines like "loo lol lol looo lol, O-M-G. I-D-k wa I'll do tamaraw'"

Because that's not English. That's mixed street/type/and gibberish that is the new language of kids. All it's doing is making them more degraded and lowered in their standards.

reply to post by Gorman91


That is the fault of the Educational system we now have, and parent's utter lack of any parenting skills. Also how are her kids supposed to find the type of kids your talking about? She home-schools her kids so the only other children they know about are the ones in the neighborhood.

AD, from the way your posts are sounding you seem to be becoming delusional and in a denial stage. You're attacking anyone who might offend you in any way, by expressing your 'extreme dissapointment' in the way the thread turned out. If you haven't noticed you have almost 100 stars and 90 flags. Apparently the majority agree with you, no matter the mind-set of these individuals. Of course I shouldn't be one to judge, it is only my observation.

I'm sorry but just because yourself and your children have dealt with someone who has used drugs and alcohol, (i.e. your husband) that does not mean they are going to never do those drugs, will never try alcohol. That simply isn't going to happen. At some point your child will be curious, but instead being able to trust you not to freak out, he'll try it out with their friends and risk overdosing.

Is this your idea of being a responsible parent?

reply to post by pointtech86


Maybe you didn't grow up in the normal American neighborhood, but I met most of my first friends in parks, parental get-togethers, and talking. Not only that, but the older I got the less I cared from the friends where I was. I did the sensible thing and sought out people with my viewpoints over the internet on forums like these, video games, etc. And as time went on I started advocating my viewpoints on those same places and making more friends in the differences I found with others. Meanwhile the people around me where I live have grown distant from me. Why? Because I am smarter, more innovative, and better then they are. So I have to find people who understand me and from who I can learn from. I have friends in Iran, the west coast, the East coast, Mexico, South America, Africa, China, etc etc. All these people are more interesting in a single day of debate and/or conversation then any of my real life friends are in a month of talking. People here usually understand what I mean when I say that you need to generate power for electromagnets powerful enough to resist the gravity of a negatively charged anti-hydrogen star so that you can use their gravity to generate a warp speed and alter your own special relativity so that you can travel faster than light to Earth's relativity. People in real life just scratch their heads and don't get it.

So don't tell me that in this day and age you can't find people and make friends if your home schooled. What silliness that is.

Well done Dad and you didn't do anything radical. That is what the mainstream would say but I agree with your methods. Your kids will thank you in the long run when they have a heightened sense of creativity and the ability think off the cuff.

My brother is the same way with his kids, although they watch some television, but they aren't bound by it like other children. They read, they draw, and are even learning languages if you can believe it. They are ahead of me when I was their age by leaps and bounds. So kudos to you Dad!

reply to post by -NewSense-


thats part of a big problem. your saying its better to teach our kids to judge people by brands of clothes or if they own the new game console?

I never had teen popstars singing and dancing for me on disney channel growing up. Why does an eight year old need an idol performing at a concert?

just take them in the woods and show them how fun it can be. this country would do alot better in the future.

Originally posted by Rockstar1102

Your sons have taken an interest in nature and drawing? I'm unsure as to your boys ages, but if they're between 4 - 16 you can expect A LOT more problems to derive from their "nature hikes" than playing Call of Duty. What's going to happen when their friends ask what they did this weekend and they reply, "we went on a great nature hike! I picked up some leaves!" while the other kids talk about their technology based experiences. They can kiss those friends goodbye...

Rockstar,

I can't actually believe what I'm reading. For a kid the only alternative to playing video games you can think of is picking up leaves.

Uh ... I think you missed out on childhood playing all those video games.

And the kids who will leave because they can't share those experiences?

Is there an expression for losing losers?

I recommend a visit to the world just outside your window. A lot of things out there besides leaves on the ground.

People who never even heard of "Call of Duty" and still manage to enjoy rich and fulfilling lives. I imagine many of them would find little to discuss with you.

Mike

Originally posted by Jakes51
Well done Dad and you didn't do anything radical. That is what the mainstream would say but I agree with your methods. Your kids will thank you in the long run when they have a heightened sense of creativity and the ability think off the cuff.

My brother is the same way with his kids, although they watch some television, but they aren't bound by it like other children. They read, they draw, and are even learning languages if you can believe it. They are ahead of me when I was their age by leaps and bounds. So kudos to you Dad!

Funny.. My brothers and sisters who are about 20 years older than me grew up without any technology. (Only had a b&w tv)
I grew up with tv and some video games. I'm ahead of them by leaps and bounds too when you compare them to me when they were my age.

If a kid is naturally talented then give him access to some good quality tv show, internet and some video games and he'll be a rocket scientist in no time.

During my primary school years I notices that the "nerds" who "wasted" their time at home playing video games were much more intelligent than the other kids who were playing in the park..

My point here is not that video games and tv are necessary but it's that these two are not bad things. As AD mentioned that her kids are allowed to go to their friends places and watch tv there and paly video games, I think it won't really help much. If the video game addiction bug infects them then you'll be seeing them much less at your place and it'll become a big problem..

Your intentions are obviously good and you love your kids so good luck raising them.

Peace

reply to post by mmiichael


No, that is not the only alternative that I could think of, but it's what popped into my mind as I was writing. What I was trying to convey, and what you clearly missed, is that those type of social activities are not the most prevalent in society and therefore have become almost taboo.

I met the majority of my friends through sports and related activities as a kid, so I clearly didn't miss out on my childhood, BUT I can vividly remember me and 5 of my buddies staying up all night to beat a video game or surf the internet for crazy stuff. That was and will continue to be "guy bonding" at a teenage age, just get used to it.

Losing losers? I hate the be the bearer of bad news, but I cannot think of a 14 year old without a cell phone nowadays. Maybe it's where I grew up, who knows? But technology is EVERYWHERE. What are you going to tell your kids when they come home from their friends house who has a tv, xbox and a laptop? "Sorry buddy, you just don't need those things."

Don't sit there and say that there's a group of kids whose parents just detach them from technology, because it isn't true. Maybe one, two kids at most, but you're not going to find a clique of these types. To a child / teen popularity and acceptance is THE single most important thing. You want to be the kid who is an outcast in a class or school? I believe things like that lead to bigger problems as I previously stated.

I took away the tv's...put them all in the attic for the summer 2 years ago. It was wonderful. My spouse hated it. My children played all summer, read, did summer workbooks to sharpen thier skills, swam, and played outside. Where we vacation sometimes in the summer the cottages do not have tv's sometimes and that is the best! So peaceful and relaxing.

This summer the children are older 13 and 9 and the new rule is only recorded movies with the family. We watch them late at night together after our busy days. So far we have watched old movie musicals, cary grant movies and modern day classics. I think just like literature, the stories movies tell become part of our culture, so I like my children to experience that also. My children and I enjoy the performing arts and appreciate scenic design, music, costuming and lighting ...so movies are a fun way to enjoys these artforms, because live theatre is very expensive and not always family friendly.

My thirteen year old does not have a cell phone and no myspace page or anything like that and I have asked her not to do so, she agrees with me that she does not want to interact on a forum where everything you communicate is recorded and filed. She is just as paranoid and libertarian as I was at 13.

I could not care less if it is social suicide...I see it as a great barometer for judging people. If people do not like you because of what you do or don't watch on tv or if you or don't twitter or myspace...I think you know then you do not need them as friends. A true friend will like you for your likes and interests and get in touch with you the way you like to be reached. I have friends I know to call on cell phones and friends who I know I have to email... ...I like them because of who they are and I hope the same for my children, to have a few friends who you know and like and can be your self around, instead of hundreds of shallow insipid aquaintances with whom you have to work very hard to fit in with.

OP, You are doing a great thing by taking away the electronic media...it is a waste of time.

I did a radical thing...

erm...ok.

Originally posted by Rockstar1102
What I was trying to convey, and what you clearly missed, is that those type of social activities are not the most prevalent in society and therefore have become almost taboo.

I met the majority of my friends through sports and related activities as a kid, so I clearly didn't miss out on my childhood, BUT I can vividly remember me and 5 of my buddies staying up all night to beat a video game or surf the internet for crazy stuff. That was and will continue to be "guy bonding" at a teenage age, just get used to it.

Losing losers? I hate the be the bearer of bad news, but I cannot think of a 14 year old without a cell phone nowadays. Maybe it's where I grew up, who knows? But technology is EVERYWHERE. What are you going to tell your kids when they come home from their friends house who has a tv, xbox and a laptop? "Sorry buddy, you just don't need those things."

Some poor communication here and I'll take some responsibility. When you gave examples of playing a video game vs collecting leaves I sort of blew my top.

I'm not against technology and don't think anyone should be deprived of it.
What I don't like is allowing kids to become TV and gaming junkies. And believe me it's happening a lot.

You've obviously lived a balanced life of activities but not all kids have the ability to find that balance. You have to remember that a suburban American entertainment consumer lifestyle may work for some but is not the only way to go.

People in North America often never get in touch with their own bodies or learn socializing skills. Being withdrawn and into media technology is their only outlet. If you don't learn these things young, it becomes a way of life.

I've been off the wheel of packaged entertainment for ten years now. Don't miss it and my life is richer than it's ever been.

I spent a lot of time in countries where this kind of stuff is a luxury and an occasional indulgence, not a way of life. People are smart and capable and are out all the time doing things. I think it's a more rewarding lifestyle in the end.

Not my role to impose on people how to live. But there is so much lost in being a consumer non-stop. You can always pick it up, but if you are conditioned that way from the beginning it's hard to change.

Hope this makes some sense.


Mike

One more thing. Having no tv and video games might work with younger children but wait til they get to puberty...

reply to post by mmiichael


Well, I can't help but take the other half of the mis-communication I totally understand your passion for the topic and no need to justify your opinions.

I also agree that allowing kids to become video game / internet junkies is a horrible way to raise your kids. As you mentioned it is very difficult to find that balance, especially the way parenting is heading in downward spiral these days.

I believe the real problem stems from the encouragement of the parents. How many times have you heard of a parent saying "It's raining, go play some video games or watch a movie" or "We're leaving in an hour, go check you're email"??

It almost seems like it's a parent's way of getting their kids out of their hair or a way to pacify them for some reason. THAT is what needs to change. Kids have a natural tendency to explore and learn and if that is being shunned to technology by the parents, then they are to blame.

personally i dont see a problem with videogames (unless they get boring then its a major cause of aggression)

i grew up with video games and stuff. that type of thing is my backup for when my other endeavors (reading, writing poetry, drawings, researching random stuff, staring off into space, singing) cant keep my attention any more (you can only read for so long before your eyes melt)

honestly i think you just lucked out with your kids and got naturally intelligent ones. my sister doesnt really have video games and all that and shes dumber than a rocks of box.

so maybe you have kids more naturally prone to enjoy not being stupid. most kids ive ever come across are not that way.

I'm inspired. I wish my mom would have done the same thing. Luckily my kids are young enough that they aren't complete zombies. I wasn't as extreme as throwing everything away, but I did turn the tv off and make my kids go outside to play. they whined at me, but got over it quickly. now they have tons of friends to play with, and they are much happier than before.
You did the right thing. Kudos to you.