"I have a crush on woodwardjnr, who is your ATS crush"

Slayer I could have sworn you told me before in another thread that you had a crush on me.

I wait for you here, like a stone
I wait for you here.....alone



Sorry, just I'm depressed lately.

Originally posted by kinda kurious
I wait for you here, like a stone
I wait for you here.....alone

Sorry, just I'm depressed lately.

Don't be sad... AND DON'T LISTEN TO THAT SONG!

I know it won't help....good song though.

i finally get to lay down again... i am so tired. I'm still not finished with this crazy bed but i think it will hold me for 8 hours... hopefully. CRAP!... I'm not going to wake up before sundown and I have to buy some fish today....tonight...whatever.

maybe today is the day I go to the store and someone besides a drunk person talks to me.

reply to post by ChaosMagician


Thanks for your kind words. Sorry to be a downer, I'll be back to my useless trite contributions soon enough.

Funny that when you are feeling down you don't want to hear happy fluff. Kinda like "Blues" music. But misery loves company I suppose.

Have a nice sleep and enjoy your fish.

Originally posted by kinda kurious
reply to post by ChaosMagician

 

Thanks for your kind words. Sorry to be a downer, I'll be back to my useless trite contributions soon enough.

Funny that when you are feeling down you don't want to hear happy fluff. Kinda like "Blues" music. But misery loves company I suppose.

Have a nice sleep and enjoy your fish.

Yeah... and i have noticed that when i get upset it's like terrible pain until I get to this weird point where just as it seems that moment is forever, I accept it and all the bad thoughts I'm thinking along with it and nothing seems to matter and I guess the pain causes endorphins and stuff and I tend to want to stay right there in that moment because it feels like if you could stay down there at the bottom like that, the ego would never rise itself up again and I could remain in that calm painless moment of complete disconnect. It even feels like parts of my body go numb... like my stomach, like it just fell out or melted or something and this calm comes over me and it almost seems I'm enjoying the misery but it's the crossing over to that mode that distorts and gives that impression. Everything just goes numb and the pain stops... so maybe there is a reason for wanting to wallow in it. maybe it's instinctual...because your nerves have had enough and you want to embrace what's creeping up on you and get it over with.

Funny thing is very hard to stay there. Five minutes later and i'm laughing at some dumb # again.
I keep thinking to stay there would help keep my goofy ass together but I guess it doesn't work that way.

What really sucks is when your sad or upset and it just stagnates and your feelings don't change or they have to change real gradually ow whatever. that happens alot talking to people while upset... it just kind of disintegrates and then you feel stupid for talking about being upset but your instincts tell people to do that I think... and sometimes it helps but sometimes it just makes me feel worse but in a way where you know you can't do anything about it because you've already tried talking and so it just sits there.

reply to post by ChaosMagician


Wow that is so true about the "threshold of pain" observation. If I have a toothache or bruise or something, I tend to want to mash it real hard to determine ultimate pain. Weird huh?

ETA reply to 2nd post.

Yes that too. Plus that weird superstition about bad things in threes. I'm experiencing a trifecta right now. Almost like when you are having a self pity party thinking things couldn't be worse, then bam! They most certainly can and do. (Was feeling down for a minor issue, sister in law had to put her dog down due to cancer who I was with the night before then elderly Mom admitted to hospital for chronic heart failure.) I feel like a magnet for mayhem right now. Sorry TMI.

Originally posted by kinda kurious
Sorry, just I'm depressed lately.

When I get like that, I only want to hear sad songs too. Some of the songs I like are just way too sad so I am not sure that is a great things. When I see others like this, I would rather play happy music because I want them to be cheerful too. I know that does not really work and you kind of stated as much with yourself.

So I gave some thought to what really helps grant me at least a crooked and tainted smile in such times. So many of the things that bring those smiles to us often prey upon our own relative deviances and are hard to share or convey. Often it is impossible to see myself entertaining any other emotion until I have seen the ill that is the present through to its eventual cathartic self resolution. Sometimes it just helps to not make much sense.



Then again, I have an indoor garden.

Cheer up. It is Super Bowl Commercial Sunday.
I hear Doritos have been training hard all year for this one.

reply to post by Sinnthia

edit on 6-2-2011 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)
edit on 6-2-2011 by LadySkadi because: (no reason given)
edit on 6/2/2011 by LiveForever8 because: all the cool kids are doing it
edit on 6-2-2011 by MarineSniper12Kills because: I want to be cool like you Live Forever
edit on 6-2-2011 by ChaosMagician because: (no reason given)
edit on 6-2-2011 by kinda kurious because: (no reason given)

OK people, first off, you must, MUST give a reason for your edit. Mr. must give a reason is going to get pissed at you if you don't.

There is only one exception here and that is LadySkadi because she has edited more than anyone in the history of ATS and I hear that she is going in the Guinness World book of Records for this accomplishment. (although I did manage to see what was there beforehand....nice..LOL)

Sinnthea is trying to break the chain edit's by not editing and showing how she is better than all of you and you shouldn't stand for that at all. You should be demanding that she edit her post just on account....dammit..you all know that if the chain is broken, a puppy will go without food tonight..or will become food..

Do you all want this on your minds as you eat dinner????
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/61524cb06055.jpg[/atsimg]

Talk about making a real mess of this thread.. Let's get it together people and try to keep with the program here. There are people having some hard times on here and we need to offer support, and not just screw up the mojo.

I hope everyone's day is going a little better today as I don't really like to see people in pain like this.

reply to post by Sinnthia


Thanks for the words and inspiration. We've all been here when the enormity of life seems overwhelming. In the past I fell for the crutch of booze which simply helped me achieve new lows and exacerbate my problems. Much as being sober is much better, there is nothing to placate the raw pain and emotion of my suffering. (M &M's help though) It feels like surgery minus anesthesia, but I feel strangely empowered by it. Conquering fear and pain helps one grow. (Pain is weakness escaping the body- a Hockey coach said that)

The cartoon made me chuckle so thanks for that and reaching out. Coming from you it helps in immeasurable ways. WW...KK

reply to post by kinda kurious


I feel I too am familiar with having intimate knowledge of reaching new personal depths as well as the retreating fear that comes from the sick light of a well intentioned friend. I did not want to contribute to either so I thought that maybe some absurdity might help at least a little.

I am in a good mood today but typing positive and happy type things is causing my skin to break out.

Originally posted by Sinnthia
reply to post by kinda kurious

 

I am in a good mood today but typing positive and happy type things is causing my skin to break out.

No feet rashes I hope.

reply to post by tribewilder


TW I'm not just smiling, I am cracking up. You are devilishly brilliant. You have so much to offer besides your rock hard 6 pack and ability to tame wild jingle beasts.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/efb2e2ceddf8.jpg[/atsimg]
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/efb2e2ceddf8.jpg[/atsimg]
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/efb2e2ceddf8.jpg[/atsimg]
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/efb2e2ceddf8.jpg[/atsimg]
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/efb2e2ceddf8.jpg[/atsimg]

At least I am now hurting from laughter.

reply to post by tribewilder


[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/3135eb1a65ea.jpg[/atsimg]

Sad, but true. Thank god I have exclusionary rights, I'm not sure I'd post without 'em. The edit button is my friend.

Originally posted by tribewilder

edit on 6-2-2011 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)
edit on 6-2-2011 by LadySkadi because: (no reason given)
edit on 6/2/2011 by LiveForever8 because: all the cool kids are doing it
edit on 6-2-2011 by MarineSniper12Kills because: I want to be cool like you Live Forever
edit on 6-2-2011 by ChaosMagician because: (no reason given)
edit on 6-2-2011 by kinda kurious because: (no reason given)

OK people, first off, you must, MUST give a reason for your edit. Mr. must give a reason is going to get pissed at you if you don't.

There is only one exception here and that is LadySkadi because she has edited more than anyone in the history of ATS and I hear that she is going in the Guinness World book of Records for this accomplishment. (although I did manage to see what was there beforehand....nice..LOL)

Originally posted by tribewilder
reply to post by Sinnthia

 

edit on 6-2-2011 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)
edit on 6-2-2011 by LadySkadi because: (no reason given)
edit on 6/2/2011 by LiveForever8 because: all the cool kids are doing it
edit on 6-2-2011 by MarineSniper12Kills because: I want to be cool like you Live Forever
edit on 6-2-2011 by ChaosMagician because: (no reason given)
edit on 6-2-2011 by kinda kurious because: (no reason given)

OK people, first off, you must, MUST give a reason for your edit. Mr. must give a reason is going to get pissed at you if you don't.

There is only one exception here and that is LadySkadi because she has edited more than anyone in the history of ATS and I hear that she is going in the Guinness World book of Records for this accomplishment. (although I did manage to see what was there beforehand....nice..LOL)

Sinnthea is trying to break the chain edit's by not editing and showing how she is better than all of you and you shouldn't stand for that at all. You should be demanding that she edit her post just on account....dammit..you all know that if the chain is broken, a puppy will go without food tonight..or will become food..

Do you all want this on your minds as you eat dinner????
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/61524cb06055.jpg[/atsimg]

Talk about making a real mess of this thread.. Let's get it together people and try to keep with the program here. There are people having some hard times on here and we need to offer support, and not just screw up the mojo.

I hope everyone's day is going a little better today as I don't really like to see people in pain like this.

edit on 2/6/2011 by tribewilder because: I don't want to make Mr. you must give a reason any angrier than he probably already is so I am editing this and giving a reason. PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE!!!....Sinnthea this means YOU!!!

GAHHH!...That picture reminds me of someone who I had a dream about a month or so back.
They were looking at me just like that and even though they aren't female they were saying in their most concerned motherly voice as I was telling them of whatever fictional subconscious issue I was having. "Do you want me to go with you" How cute.

As for the cartoon... I think comedy is a good cure for the blues because some things you can't help but to laugh at. Sometimes your mood will change before you realize it... but then again sometimes after having already gone insane you just laugh at things and immediately become sad again because you've already broken all the switch locks on your moods trying to control them for the better and have worn them out like defective breakers.


I am so sore from sawing with low powered jigsaw and drilling 3 inch wood screws into wood with a crappy bit. My hands are sore, I can barely pick my arms up and I feel like I didn't sleep very well because I was doing a balancing act in my sleep the whole time because I felt that bed was going to collapse.... and now I get to go finish it with my sore hands. Yippee.