Why is revenge bad?

Nice thread, very interesting. In my humble opinion, revenge is like straddling the gray area if you will. See, we like to think that we live in a world of black and white. However, there is that gray area that tends to muck things up. How to determine if revenge is right or wrong. To put it simply, that is up to the person and their backgrounds.
Many of you have probably heard of blood feuds in places, such as, Albania or Sicily to name a few. They have gone on there for centuries. These feuds can last generations, and often times, result from a slight insult. So for generations, this destructive behavior continues and all that follows is sadness and pain by the participating parties. Is any reconciliation achieved by these acts? To some people yes and others no. So it results in a conundrum.
To me revenge is a conundrum. Don't get me wrong I would love to exact revenge on my enemies but what does it really solve? The pain never really goes away. I say forgive but never forget. Forgiveness is the best revenge. Revenge through malice leads to oblivion and self destruction. Your thoughts and incite please.

If the revenge is carried out be the form that the society determines, then it is a deterrent to future bad behavior.

If for a moment we can look at Old Testament forms of capital punishment, the entire community was to participate in the stoning.

This did to things. No one wanted to participate in an execution if there was any reasonable doubt of guilt, and the second part was that certain behaviors must be not only punished as a community, but witnessed by the community.

The Saudi example set and example for all to see. To make a point, sometimes you must make a point.

To sanitize and hide away executions as we do in the US is counter-productive. Now it's not acting as a public deterrent.

Then there's the other justice. Whenever a society cannot protect that society, then one will find vigilantism. It's quick, it's effective, and word get around quick that this community is not going to tolerate much foolishness.

Personal revenge can take many forms, and it is a fine line to not be injured in equal amounts to satisfaction.

But, sometimes the personal injury to yourself is worth the immediate satisfaction of your revenge.

reply to post by Donnie Darko


I agree to a point ,but the killer will not live to kill my child or yours if we kill them.We can not just let the killers think its ok.I will have a roof over my head and food for the rest of my life all I need to do is kill someone. An eye for an eye.Thats not revenge its the right thing to do.
We could put them in time out that might work.

Originally posted by FlyersFan
Why is revenge bad?

'revenge is Mine sayith the Lord'

But why is revenge a bad thing? Isn't it a natural thing?

Revenge is reserved by God for Himself, but He lends that power and right to the State.

But for personal individuals in personal squabbles, we...at least followers of Christ...are to turn the other cheek. It's God who metes out justice and vengeance...at times by His own hand, at other times through the agency of the State. Caesar doesn't bear the sword for nothing.

Also, syphilis is natural, too. Careful making arguments from natural law.

Originally posted by stumpyjm
reply to post by Donnie Darko

 

I agree to a point ,but the killer will not live to kill my child or yours if we kill them.We can not just let the killers think its ok.I will have a roof over my head and food for the rest of my life all I need to do is kill someone. An eye for an eye.Thats not revenge its the right thing to do.
We could put them in time out that might work.

Prison isn't like a great place to be. So what if you're alive - what kind of a life is it? You have no freedom.

Death should never be a punishment.

The victim of an alleged foul deed, is the last person that should decide the fate of the perpetrator.

There should first be an impartial enquiry into ALL of the relevant matters, and background, then an impartial decision about restitution or punishment. The victim should play no part in any of this apart from submitting evidence as a witness. Likewise the accused should be free to submit his version of events.

Leave it to a superior wisdom and authority, be it a Judge, the King, or God to determine and carry out any action. To do otherwise places you outside any protection you may have against revenge against YOU.

Places like Sicily have been crippled by vendettas and blood feuds that go on generation after generation.

To do otherwise only leads to anarchy and the complete moral destruction of the society as a whole. This situation is soon coming to America,

You are a kid and play with another kid in a sandbox
The other kid breaks your shovel.
You retaliate and break his shovel.
You are now unable to finish the sandcastle to end all sandcastles for lack of proper tools.
End of story.

Here's what I think we have so far ...

- Revenge is a basic primal human right. Society takes away that right.

- Revenge serves evolutionary purposes as well as self 'herd control'.

- Revenge can 'get it wrong' and can cause feuds; cause problems for society.

- Spiritual leaders say revenge harms the person seeking revenge.


Do those who believe revenge is spiritually harmful have a right to impose their spiritual beliefs on those who wish to fulfil their basic primal human right of revenge?

or

Do those who beleive revenge is spiritually harmful have an obligation to raise up the rest of humanity and teach them that revenge harms them?

or

Is revenge really harmful or really helpful for the victim and/or society?
Does anyone really know?

or

Should humans embrace their basic primal human rights and should they be allowed to 'be human' and carry out revenge?

or ... should it be on a case by case basis? And if so .. who decides?

Originally posted by Silver Shadow
The victim of an alleged foul deed, is the last person that should decide the fate of the perpetrator.

I would think that the person harmed should be the FIRST person to decide what happens to the perp. It's a basic primal human right.

To act out of revenge lowers us to the same point as the object of our rage. Revenge is a reaction, justice is a response. How much better for us to respond to something terrible than to react to it with the basest of human emotions.

Originally posted by FlyersFan

I would think that the person harmed should be the FIRST person to decide what happens to the perp. It's a basic primal human right.

Whoever said primal was the best way to go?

By that logic, you might as well legalize cannibalism too!

The answer is very simple...

It's self destructive. The more you try to hurt others the more you poison your own life.

Originally posted by Donnie Darko
Whoever said primal was the best way to go?

WHERE did I say that it was? No where.
This whole thread is asking if it is or not.
Ya' best read the whole thread.

The QUESTION is ... Why is revenge bad?
The FACT is that revenge is a primal human right.
The ANSWERS are varied as to if people have a right to infringe upon that basic primal human right for various reasons.

No where did I say that I supported revenge or that I didn't.

I am not sure if I do or not.

I'm going to contradict my previously oh-so-pious statements and say that as far as child molesters or child killers - I don't care at all what happens to them. If living well is the best revenge, well then...

[edit on 1/6/2009 by kosmicjack]

reply to post by kosmicjack


I think that the best revenge/justice for child killers and rapists is to put them in the general population at the local max security prison and to make sure the other inmates know exactly why that person is in prison.


[edit on 6/1/2009 by FlyersFan]

Originally posted by FlyersFan
Example - Timothy McVeigh set off a bomb that killed dozens of preschool children. The parents of the dead children want him dead and push to view the execution. Why is that bad?

This is why - straight from the horse's mouth (a father who lost a child in the bombing you mention).

One day, about 10 months after Julie's death, Welch went to the bomb site — which he routinely visited because that was the last place where his daughter was alive — and began to examine himself and search for a way to get past his grief. He found that he was being consumed that the same rage and thirst of revenge that had driven McVeigh and Nichols to blow up the Murrah Federal Building and kill his daughter.

"I finally asked myself three questions: Do I need to have a trial right away? Do I need to have a conviction? Do I need to have McVeigh and Nichols executed?" Welch said. "I came to the conclusion that none of those things needed to be part of the healing process I had to go through to get past this and stop the alcohol abuse and stop smoking three packs of cigarettes a day.

"It was hate and retribution that drove McVeigh and Nichols. They were getting revenge for what happened in Waco, Texas, exactly two years earlier on April 19, 1993" — when U.S. government agents began storming the Branch Davidian compound, and the sect's stronghold went up in flames.

"It was out of rage and retribution that Julie and so many fine people are dead today," Welch said. "After I began to realize what drove McVeigh and Nichols, I realized that I didn't want to let my rage and revenge get out of control like it did with them."

Source

The whole article is very interesting, and I have a lot of respect for Mr. Welch... I only wish those who have not been in his shoes yet still seek revenge for acts committed on strangers by strangers would take a leaf out of his book.

kosmicjack and flyersfan.......I completely agree with both of you! Why give them a release from this life? I am of the belief that there is no hell and we are living in a world that is as close to hell as we come. I do believe that we are called to account for the evil we do to others, but with much mercy! That being said: It is far preferable for these sick people to receive their recompense at the hands of their peers. I don't see that as revenge at all but as justice! If we allow the justice system to handle this stuff we keep our hands clean and they do get some measure of retribution.

[edit on 6/1/2009 by redhead57]

Originally posted by FlyersFan
Here's what I think we have so far ...

- Revenge is a basic primal human right. Society takes away that right.

What exactly is a "basic primal human right"? Is jealousy? What about loathing? What about acting out on the aforementioned feelings? Is that also a basic primal human right that society takes away from us?

Negativity and barbarism go hand in hand, what kind of society do you want to live in?

Revenge is a bad thing because if you always seek pay back when somebody hurts you then it makes you just as bad as them.

It turns into point scoring seeing for do the most damage to each other and whether the other person can come back with soemthing more hurtful. It becomes a dangerous game and both people/parties involved end up just as hurt as each other.

So in the end it was pointless anyway makes you a better person to walk away from them forever or forgive the person for what they did totally no more grudges.

reply to post by purehughness


It's not revenge, it's a service to all those that will come into contact with that person at a later date. If you let someone that's evil continue their evil ways, you do a disservice to others.

reply to post by Somebodyelse7


Free choice is something we all tackle with every day: should I or shouldn't I do this or that?

It applies to revenge as well. The act of revenge comes back to you one way or another. You do wrong by someone it will come back to you maybe years from the actual event. I've seen it with my own eyes in my own life.

The best way to handle revenge is to walk away and I know JC said that in another way, but it is true. To me, revenge is a very messy affair and is very difficult to rationalize. People get hurt by it and the person exacting the revenge can get hurt as well. It is a very reciprocal affair.

When someone does wrong to you and you do the same to them you are know better and just as guilty. Just sit back and wait that person that wronged you will get their justice one way or another. Why give them the satisfaction of seeing you lose your cool as a result of their act.

What do you all think?