My Twin Flame left me. Does anyone know how to alleviate the pain?

I have met my twin flame (I saw him before we physically met) and now I'm being torn because he has left me. We are supposed to reunite in this life.

Before we met, I was completely independent and stable. Now, knowing such a complete all incompassing bliss exist and I have lost it makes me feel completely stranded.

I feel as if I was leaning against a piller only to have it fall from behind me and then the building collapse on top of me so I am now lying on the floor with nothing left and yet somehow remarkably still alive.

In other words, I feel I am literally being crushed and torn. Does anyone know how I can alleviate/reduce this pain?

reply to post by Taz4591


Buddha tells us that our life is full of suffering, and the only way to alleviate the suffering is to cease to want.

It sounds to me like you are more emotion than anything. You cannot know if you are "meant" to reunite in this life or not. I would suppose the simple fact that he left is a display that you were not meant to do any such thing, and you have merely convinced yourself of such.

Stop wanting so much. Be happy with what you have. Walk The Middle Way.

When I have painful moments like this, I ask myself why I am choosing the pain. Seriously.

And then I look for other things to fill my thoughts with. For though we cannot change our feelings directly, we can change what we are thinking about, or how we are thinking about what we are thinking about to affect our emotions.

It's a bit difficult at first, but one gets the hang of it. When you think about this individual, if you stop yourself and think about the wonderful trip you took five years ago with your aunt...or whatever brings happy feelings associated with it... Or ask yourself what you might do to focus your mind elsewhere, and then do it... Or think, "Y'know. He was a jerk, leaving someone as wonderful as me. His loss. I will find much better...

All these things can work, especially with practice.

Oh Dear Im sorry that you feel so much pain right now but the others are right in asuming that he is not the one for you.There is a lesson here taz and to take your mind of the pain meditate on that.I left someone once that I thought was the one only to find my real twin flame 2 weeks later,and 16 years later we are still one.I ask the Infinte Creator to lesson your pain and send you swiftly to your real twin.And a big comic hug from me.

These emotional states to me are like distant mountains viewed on the horizon. We can spend a lifetime trekking to those mountains. Another lifetime climbing them, conquering them. But viewed from it's peak, a mountain is just another rock. And so the time we spend there is often fleeting. We travel on and looking back find again what gave us cause to seek out the mountain in the first place. Only from a distance can we appreciate the full breadth of its majesty. But we certainly wouldn't be fooled to think that if we return, climb the mountain again, that it will be any different than it was before, will we?

That you are, or were, supposed to reunite in this life shouldn't be taken to mean "forever", or any relative human equivalent. We can know some things with certainty, but time is the mystery that binds our reality. Don't rely on it or dwell on it. It's bad enough at times that we have to live in it.

And so I would tell you honestly that you haven't lost that bliss. You've only lost that which you attached your bliss to in a sense that fits the consciousness of our time/space reality, and that being a sense that implies what you want must always be in your grasp, beneath your feet, close at hand. He's still out there and always will be. Your heart will know that can be enough even though you desire more. That means your joy cannot leave you if you maintain a perspective on what you truly require to be joyful. But that doesn't mean you'll ever feel complete without him by your side. Perhaps, perhaps not.

Of course you're still breathing, as you will continue to do so long as you desire. And since you obviously can't read the future with perfect accuracy, there is no reason to assume you have reason to decide not to continue at this point. Yes?

Sometimes these things pass through our lives only briefly and it is up to us to decide what we draw from the experience we have. And when our hearts are broken, it is an opportunity to fill that emptiness with love. To allow it to overflow into the world around us.

Be at peace for all is well if you allow for it.

That's hard, I know. You have crossed paths in this lifetime and most likely have done so before and will again, however, it does not necessarily mean that you were supposed to be together forever. Some yes, some no. You have karmic ties between you, but you must try to figure out (ask yourself) why he came into your life and why he left and what you learned from it.

It does take time, but I do also agree with the others that have posted, very good advice all together.

Sending some positive energy to alleviate the pain.

Make sure to give yourself the time to grieve. It's okay to be sad and feel lost during a time like this. Cry....stomp...scream....
Go attack a hillside or throw big rocks into a lake .....
Let these emotions out!!
Remember also to not blame yourself for this...
The universe does indeed unfold exactly as it should.

Peace...

reply to post by Taz4591


It takes courage for anyone to put their trust in the universe, and identifying with the awareness that is our true nature instead of the emotions that rise up and die out later. Adding more storylines, and identifying with those story lines only pull us away from our true nature of awareness. Everything is in flow. When the time is right, things will come to you.

Light n Love

It disturbs me abit to see you giving this other person your personal empowerment.

Twin flame???

Who says?

When you meet your twin flame he/she will not leave you with pain in the wake of loss.

Perhaps it wasn't the twin flame after all. I am in my forties and haven't found that twin yet~

Find peace in your heart. Both flames burn within you, not without.

Yourself is your true flame..........The you that you haven't acknowleged.

IMO

Possibly the plan could of been to meet.
Possibly the plan could of been to part and discover the pain of loss.
The gain for you both may have been to transcend that breakup and to continue your seperate lives.
What a grand piece of spiritual growth education.

Those of you who have met your twin flame know how it feels, you know the certainty of their thoughts, their actions. You know how wonderful it feels. You know it can be stormy, but never troublesome. You know the completeness, and how time is different. Seems to go on forever. You know how hard it is to separate even for a day..an hour. You know your twin can harm you more than anyone else. They know your thoughts, emotions, weaknesses. You know they won't use that advantage. I know my twin. I know why he left. I know he will return.

He left because he was not allowed to be near me. He felt this same pain I am feeling. He believes that by leaving me, it will go away. I know it won't and it hasn't. He has caused himself physical pain in the hope it will destract him from the spiritual pain he is facing.

I don't want either of us to be in agony. This pain is not emotional. I'm okay with waiting for him. I'm wondering if a way exists to subdue it. Make it less painful and easier to endure.

When I say he has left me, I mean physically. We are still spiritually inertwined and that is where this pain is coming from.

Yes. The pain is difficult. I kind of know what it feels. I guess what you are going through is karmic in its nature. Whatever happens, must happen for a reason.

Fall back into the Heart centre. Live in the moment. Allow the emotions to fall and pass through. No need to identify with them. Living in the moment helps.

L n L

reply to post by Taz4591


Meditate!

My heart truly goes out to you. I don't know if he was really a twin flame but perhaps at least a soul mate. I think at this point it doesn't matter as the pain is deep and will be difficult to overcome.

I met a soulmate (at least) five years ago and because he could not deal with caring about someone he flipped a switch and turned me off (he has dealt with pain and learned to distract his thoughts). I had precognitive dreams and knew things I should not have known. There were many many coincidences and synchronicities. Like you, I was fine until he came into my life and when he left it was like I had lost a part of who I was.

Well it has been 5 years now and we see each other on occasion. He hasn't quite let me go and I know it but won't come forward. There has been no one else for me.

MY ADVICE: Don't go where you will see him. It just prolongs the pain. Not seeing him will help get it to a bearable level. I wish I could tell you that you will get over it. But just because I haven't doesn't mean you can't. Try to accept that the Universe is in control and there is nothing you can do.
Please don't make any foolish mistakes...I did and it has made it more difficult to get together.

In reuniting there is gratitude and additional trust in the connectedness.
He isn't forced to stay way. Not really. When he is ready. When you are ready. This life or next. Most likely this one.
Trust and know that you will keep breathing and living until that day, so you might as well think of yourself and what you want until then. Imagine and dream and breathe and trust.

[edit on 26-5-2009 by seagrass]

I am going through the same thing. My girlfriend of four years just left me. I know we have met in this life, I also know we have met in other lives, and i know we will meet again. I feel this way with lots of people and even animals. Feeling this connection is a good thing.

It means you have some awareness of the cyclical nature of life and living. You may have been married before in a past life, lived old together and died together. You felt this connection in this life. However, we are the same souls, but we are not the same people. I believe that there is not one true soulmate, but various souls we have formed connections with in our lives that have helped us grow closer to breaking the cycle of Samsara.

Live and love, that's what this life is about. The sadness may be overwhelming, you may even feel hate, but just know that possessions are the cause of suffering. We tend to want to posses those that we love, John Lennon said this. It's so hard, so very hard, but this is the way life unfolds at this moment, and it is all meant to help you grow.

Namaste,

-Space_Fetus

reply to post by seagrass


Yes, keep breathing and trust. That is what has helped me to continue to live after the fact.

Thank you all. What seems to get me the most is that he spiritually reaches out to me and when I respond he pulls away.

Meditating only serves to help me feel him more.

My spirit guides have advised me on this matter. I am told he cannot break the connection between us, that we are destined for this lifetime, and he just needs a little (way too much for me) time for self-reflection. They have assured me I will soon feel whole again. Personally, I still believe drugs (prescription opiates) are affecting his sense of reason.

Now, I just need to curb the urge to help him (sooo much harder).

In the mean time, I've asked him what he wants me to do. Still waiting for reply because he hasn't checked his mail.

Once again, thank you. Namaste.

reply to post by Taz4591


You only have to meet your Twin Soul once. After that, you are free to go about your separate ways. You don't have to stay together, although you feel you need to. When Twin Souls meet, the flame imbalance begins and the process to balance yourselves once again takes about two years at the most. I know it hurts that your Twin is gone, but it's possible he is further along the path to balance than you are. Give it some time and you will begin to learn independence once more.

With All Due Respect,
Observigent

Originally posted by observigent
reply to post by Taz4591

 

You only have to meet your Twin Soul once. After that, you are free to go about your separate ways. You don't have to stay together, although you feel you need to. When Twin Souls meet, the flame imbalance begins and the process to balance yourselves once again takes about two years at the most. I know it hurts that your Twin is gone, but it's possible he is further along the path to balance than you are. Give it some time and you will begin to learn independence once more.

With All Due Respect,
Observigent

I am leary of posts such as these. You cannot suppose you know the path of all twin flames. Such things as this being said denotes that there are so called "rules" associated with Twin Flames.
The imbalance can take as much time as it needs, and to call it an imbalance is not the term I would use. To put a time frame on the see saw of love and recognition is to say there are limits to the growth that can be achieved with your twin flame. It can take as long as it takes. You can never learn enough I would guess.
I do agree however, that each must do "the work" in order to come together as ready as they can be. And once would never be enough, in my mind, for the greatness that being with a twin flame can achieve. What would be the point of that?