Hmmmmmm...........A Real Man Can Cry....And Stuff

Right up front. I am not a tough guy, nor a hero. I have however trained, seen, and done things many never will. I am not too proud to admit that I shed a tear or two at times.

The reason for this thread is simple. My 6 year old son told me that he is too old to cry. Crimeny. How in the heck to I tackle this one?

I've known many men and women who are downright role model super heroes yet get choked up at times.

The end of the movie 'Ole Yeller' - I need to excuse myself and grab a roll of paper towels.

Star Spangled Banner - I always wear sun glasses. EVERY time.

When my son was born, and I welcomed him to the world..... A sham-wow couldn't dry my cheeks.

Hearing that a brother was never coming home, and watching his Momma cry when she held a folded flag...........

9/11 - I was practically dehydrated.

When my Father passed..... I shed more than one tear.

I have no shame in shedding a tear. I've served with the toughset Sons Of Guns which God ever created, and I have shed tears with them. Always completed mission, left no man behind. Then let emotions out.

What did I tell my son? "You're never too old to cry." It is not a thing to be ashamed of. There are reasons to cry. I don't care who you are.

Absolutely nothing wrong with a good cry.

Now, even though I say that, I still try to hide it from my wife. Especially when watching movies. Can't let her see the waterworks.


You're an awesome dad, we should clone you so that all children could have your love and learn from you.

reply to post by lombozo


Where the Red Fern Grows got me. I think it is inhuman not to cry. Before my nieces were born I didn't cry, only at deaths of real close family. But after they were born let me hear or see a sob story about a child that went through abuse, put your knee highs on people cause it's going to get deep.

We all cry some hide it better than others. Sometimes one has to cry to let go of the emotions that overwhelm them. Tell him a real man is a man not afraid to let his emotions out when they need to be let out.

Guys, it's a really healthy, and very cool thing for a man to do. There is a theory that says that tears are part of the reason women live so much longer than men. The release valve they allow for emotion is invaluable. Nothing to be ashamed of ever.

*big hugs all round, I think*

You're a real good guy Lom and your son is AWESOME! A good cry is always good.
When I was younger, I always thought that I would never cry when I got into my 20's. Boy was I wrong. Emotion is a strange thing that does strange things to you, but being emotional doesn't make you a weak coward as my own dad always told me. It just means you have a big heart.

[edit on 4/28/2009 by Slash]

reply to post by lombozo


Oh dude how strange ...

I was going to do a thread on weeping just last night.

I cry all the freakin' time, but never at the appropriate moment if that makes sense.

I have never cried in my life when I should, even when tragedy has struck those I love, even on 9/11, even when I see terrible human deeds. Instead I compensate by crying randomly and often at the most insignificant moments ... Like a sappy commercial or a pretty sunset ... and movies ... all the time at movies ... the mere mention of "Field of Dreams" "Powder" or Immortal Beloved" makes my eyes water.

What a strange person I am.

you might need to go about this a little carefully, most of those young children need a male rolemodel (usually the father) who is "impervious to pain" both physical, and emotional, saying the wrong thing may in fact hurt more than helps, here is a little story

tenth grade english class, were watching the movie Of Mice And Men, we get to the end, and Gary Sinise has to shoot his friend in the back of the head, well after the movie im crying, trying to hold it back, but not working very well, everyone else in the class is laughing at the movie, and me, im sitting there bawling my eyes out, well, after class a few guys come up to me and start to "bully me about it" but i didn't care, i knew there was nothing wrong with crying. the problem is, most people of that age or younger see it as a sign of weakness, and try to exploit it, no matter who it is

good luck with the talk, hope what i have said helps

reply to post by outrider


Point well taken outrider. My point is to teach him that it is not a bad thing to cry. I'm certainly not telling him to cry if his pencil needs sharpening, or if his watercolor isn't perfect. This is a very trepidacious subject. I do indeed teach him what being tough is all about, but I stand by my conviction that there are times when crying is not a bad thing.

i'm a sap. i cry at movies and commercials. of course i cried when my wife left me...there is nothing wrong with crying. least i don't think so

reply to post by schrodingers dog


When I clicked on the thread title I figured it was yours SchroDog, not that I think of you as a crier but it seemed like your type of thread. To see it was lombozos is not unusual either. Would have been my next choice.

Go ahead and cry, I think more men should show their emotions.

Crying is a reaction to feelings. To me, telling ANYONE that it's not ok or not appropriate to cry (male or female/child or adult) is like telling them that their feelings are unjust or wrong. Who are any of us to do that?

We own our feelings, they are what they are........right, wrong or indifferent......they're ours. We also own our reactions to those feelings, and if it is to have a good cry, then so be it. No one should surpress that.

And to be told, "You have no right to feel that way!" or "You have no good reason to cry!" is like being told your feelings don't matter, put them away, hide them, surpress them and by all means.............DON'T FEEL THEM.

And then what? You close yourself off and emotionally detach.

To me, a man who is so in tune and accepting of their feelings that they are expressed through tears is one of the most admirable traits one can have. And those men who aren't afraid to show such emotion.......................................laugh a lot too.

Rush

reply to post by lombozo


There's nothing worse than needing to cry and you can't. I have Primary Sjogren's Syndrome and can't cry if I wanted too. When faced with something that's almost unbearable my gut wrenches and my head feels, like it's going to explode. I can't remember when I had the ability to cry to help release the pain. I have to depend on artificial tears, but it just doesn't cut it. There's nothing wrong with crying male or female. Wish I could.

Lombo,

Let me first say that your son is a truly lucky young man... Because he has you in his life.. That is a fact..

Next, I have never met anyone that ever questioned my manhood and I can not make it through..

1. "We Were Soldiers"
2. "Tears of the Sun"
or
3. The video.. "A Pittance of Time"

Without tears run right down my face..

I think it is fair to state that a man, any man, that has lived his life without compromise, has earned the right to shed tears for many reasons.. Friends lost, choices made or not made and past loves to name but a few..

Remember this...

To even suggest someone live a life free from tears is to tell them to restrict their emotions... Not something you want your son to do...

Just my meager thoughts my friend...

You are a wise and good dad, you will do what is best I have no doubt..

Semper

I love the idea that a man is only truly a man, when he
emulates the 'butch' actors on the silver screen.
It all such baloney!

A man... a man should be caring, anyone who has
such emotions can steer himself and his loved ones
through the dilemas of life with a steadier hand.

But no, we fall the age-old trap of wanting to be like
Bruce Willis and Arnie, big guns and no tear ducts!

Lombozo... you and your son should be proud.