My Shortest Scifi Story

We had left the entire universe an unknowable distance behind.
"Orders captain?"
"Arm photon torpedoes."

"Why Captain?" asked the disgruntled Tactical Officer "There is nothing out there."
"I have an itch Lieutenant, something is not right"
"Lieutenant Michaels to Chief Medical Officer MCKey" said Michaels into his vox.
"Go ahead"
"Could you please come to the bridge as the Captain has a strange itch"
"Roger that, on my way"
"It burns" griped the Captain as he slumped into his chair.

when the *** hits the fan.

I put the gravity field off and duck.

Flying Spaghetti Moderator starship de-materializes and, in a loud booming voice asks;

"You fellers lost or just invading?"

Strange 5-dimensional creature fills the monitor in a perversely twisting manner, actually projecting three dimensions behind and in front of the screen.

The captain stares in disbelief and calls over to his First Officer;

"Er... belay those photon torpedo orders, Spanky."



[edit on 13/3/09 by masqua]

Guinian stares out of 10 Forward and contemplates........

[edit on 13-3-2009 by intrepid]

Captain; "Sheesh. We ain't in Kansas anymore, Spanky"

Spanky; "Well, duh, cap'n. It was YOUR idea to go out here and have a look."

Guinian looks over to the two twits in control of the starship and wonders about his crappy luck being sent on this mission. The image fills the screen like a bulbous green and red toad, glaring through a single eyeball and slobbering green slime and suddenly starts tapping a long talon on the steel deck.

*tap* *tap* *tap*

McKay; "Don't look at me, I'm just a friggin' doctor."

Captain: "Shut up, McKay, or I'll fry your dumb canuck butt!"

Flying Spaghetti Moderator; "Well... ?"

[edit on 13/3/09 by masqua]

"Send a priority one message to Starfleet Command" growled the Captain as he stared at the image.
"How does the message read sir" responded the Lieutenant quickly.
"We have engaged the Moderator" he stated.
The image licked its lips.

[edit on 13-3-2009 by s4dreamlnd93]