Ponder on these.....

Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who
drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver' licences of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
are we supposed to do, write to them?

Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the
postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those
little bottles of Evian water?

Try spelling Evian backwards:

20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

22. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that 1
enjoys it?


23. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when
you send it by sea it is called cargo?

24. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365
days a year, why are there locks on the door?

Number 16 is so brilliant, you can bet it will never happen.

It wouldn't just be the postman looking for the criminal, everybody could. It would beat 'wanted' posters by a mile.

Why do we park on a driveway yet drive on a parkway?