I have control issues.

Hi there. I've recently discovered over the last few months that I have some control issues. I've been working at trying to not be so controlling but it's just part of my personality. I sometimes tend to control a conversation at times and I just feel bad about it later on. I feel that it's been keeping me from getting into a deep relationship with other people who I have recently met because I'm somewhat afraid of my control issues showing... I don't know how to describe it. What can I do?

Best thing to do is understand where that feeling comes from.

What do you risk by relinquishing control?

How does it relate to your past?

Of course, there are people who prefer that you take control, but obviously you feel that it has become disruptive.

That is a personality trait.

Try learning how to deal with disappointment, and be more quietly observant.

I feel that it becomes slightly disruptive because sometimes I would like for other people to talk. I am getting better at not being so controlling.

What do I risk by relinquishing control? It's not a matter of what I risk by relinquishing control it's just that sometimes it doesn't feel natural. I've just had problems with talking to people sometimes because of this personality trait...

How do I be more quietly observant?

Originally posted by Frankidealist35
I feel that it becomes slightly disruptive because sometimes I would like for other people to talk. I am getting better at not being so controlling.

What do I risk by relinquishing control? It's not a matter of what I risk by relinquishing control it's just that sometimes it doesn't feel natural. I've just had problems with talking to people sometimes because of this personality trait...

How do I be more quietly observant?

It's an aversion. In this imperfect world, multiple options are available, and one way isn't always the only possible way.

By imposing yourself onto others you deny yourself an opportunity to learn, and to face your own inadequacies.

Do you often spend long periods with out 'real' human conversation?

Is it with almost a kind of 'over-enthusiasm' that you find yourself directing the conversation,rather than a lack of interest for what others have to say?



If it is,I recommend asking questions,rather than struggling to hit the 'mute' button.

Eg,

"Really?Did you find the local culture very alien when you were there?"

NOT

"OMG I've been there too there was this market there and all these traders kept jumping out at you and trying to get you to check out what they stocked so I had to keep saying no thanks and in the end it was really starting to pee me off so like then I decided to.... etc etc etc etc and on and on and on!!" :bash: :bash:

Breathe dammit!!

reply to post by Frankidealist35
You said it yourself that you've got a controlling nature.It is part of YOU .It is who you are and someone out there will love you for it. You could try and change but it wo'nt be the real you. A leopard can't change it's spots so be happy with who you are xxx

Maybe take a few deep breaths and try and just listen to how a conversation can grow and change, think of it like a test to see how much patience you have.

Originally posted by Frankidealist35
Hi there. I've recently discovered over the last few months that I have some control issues. I've been

Is this you George? George Bush? Wow.

Of course I am kidding, I would be interested in knowing more about who told you that you had control issues, and the situation around it.