How My Subconscious Talks To Me

Hi folks. I have to describe this, partly to see if anyone else can relate and partly because I'm having a waking moment when I see full truth and realize that I wasn't vigilant in my life and have perhaps picked up some bad habits.

Do you know why this physical universe is so great? It's because it is so very predictable. I haven't seen any miracles... on the physical plane, that is. So, eventually, given enough time, when you keep seeing the same dang patterns over and over, like life knocking on your door, trying to get you to realize something, you can finally start doubting your assumptions enough (Ego hit) to start questioning your assumptions and, perhaps, realize that you've made some mistakes in your life. This sounds all very obvious, I'm sure. But, this isn't all about an ego hit. Sometimes it's very fun and enjoyable as well.

Dang, I didn't mean to say all that, but anyway, when I have moments alone, listening to music and just being by myself and AWAY from the TV AND even the COMPUTER (dare I say), I start getting flashes of thoughts and ideas and insight. It comes as regular thoughts, but they come fast and I can't really ignore them. I get swept up into them. Then, suddenly, I'll just come back to reality with no recollection of what I was just thinking. It doesn't really feel like I'm communicating with another entity, as can happen with some enthogens.

I'm totally normal physically, I'm just basically very absorbed with what I'm thinking. It seems normal while I'm in the other state. And, the reason I'm labeling it as another "state" is the immediate loss of memory 30 seconds later. I completely lose what I was thinking and sometimes even what I was doing at the time. It's hard to convey in words just how frustrating this memory loss can be.

There is also another aspect. When I go into the other state, I also immediately recall everything that I know about myself and the world in that state. It's like my subconscious state has a completely different wold model than my conscious state. Most of this knowledge includes what I was thinking the last few times I was in that state. It's like when I go into that state, I'm like, "Oh yeah, I remember this, and, Oh yeah, I remember that too, and that, yep, uh huh."

I've spent a lot of time over the years researching cognitive neuroscience and neurology to a certain degree for AI projects and I've learned that the right hemisphere can sometimes appear to be an entirely different person. Google alien hand syndrome. When the corpus callosum was completely severed in epileptic patients, the two hemispheres of the brain could not communicate anymore. The corpus callosum is a thick curved layer of nerves that run between the two hemispheres. It look much like a "bus", in electronics parlance. The two hemispheres don't have equal control over our bodies. Normally, they cooperate through the corpus callosum and everything goes smoothly. The left hemisphere controls speech and some say that it's like the right hemisphere is "without a voice." Check out these experiments... Alien Hand (Discovery)

Anywho...

Of course, along with insights, some irrational fears based on past experiences come up and I did manage to call them as such and deal with them.

Anyway, writing this (

Yeah, I become deeply engulfed in my own thoughts regularly. I enjoy thinking about philosophical and metaphysical concepts...I often find myself in a totally different state of mind, and when I snap back into reality, I have no concept of what I was doing and my memory of what I was thinking usually fades quickly, like waking up from a dream, I don't know what my body was doing while I sleep, and the memory of the dream fades quickly after I wake. Is this the sort of thing your speaking of?

PS - I thought most people see weird and colorful patterns when they close their eyes, I certainly do.

I hate when that happens. You are just having a normal conversation with someone and then blammo. You have some random memory of a dream or a situation that has nothing to do with the matter at hand. It feels a lot like Deja Vu except you can see what you are remembering.

I hope that is what you are talking about. As for the corpus collosum, I heard about some experiment where they would show the patients those pictures of people that are made of fruit. When one of the eyes was covered the person said that he could only see fruit, but when the other eye was covered the person only recognized the face. I wish I remembered what the experiment was called, but it was really cool.

[edit on 28/2/09 by Shrugger]

Originally posted by CHA0S
Yeah, I become deeply engulfed in my own thoughts regularly. I enjoy thinking about philosophical and metaphysical concepts...I often find myself in a totally different state of mind, and when I snap back into reality, I have no concept of what I was doing and my memory of what I was thinking usually fades quickly, like waking up from a dream, I don't know what my body was doing while I sleep, and the memory of the dream fades quickly after I wake. Is this the sort of thing your speaking of?

@

PS - I thought most people see weird and colorful patterns when they close their eyes, I certainly do.

Yes, but thinking about something, anything, shouldn't be followed by complete memory loss that never returns for days until you have another episode, followed by complete memory loss again. This memory loss tells me that I'm not my regular self during those times.

Even if I take notes, when I go back to read them, it's still not so easy to recall exactly the full nature of the understanding that I had before.

Most of the things that I'm thinking of have to do with self improvement and understanding of the big picture. So, while in that "subconscious" state, they seem very important and you would figure that I wouldn't forget them so easily. But, I do, instantly, which leads me to believe that one "self" find these things important, and when I return to my normal state, I don't find them so important anymore and forget about them.

I guess you could call it similar to having a split personality, except I heard that that doesn't really exist anyways... not sure if that's true. However, some believe that our minds are made up of many little "selves" that all take turns being in control at various times throughout the day depending on what we are doing. Marvin Minsky called it the "society of minds" and some eastern gurus talks about the same thing; that it's an illusion that we have one identifiable self.


About the closed-eye mild hallucinations, normally, I see various clouds of lights or colors, but never so detailed and intricate. It's a little more detailed than usual and I can kind of "feel" the patterns.

@Shrugger, these states I go in are never when I'm around other people. It only seems to be during appropriate times, i.e., when I'm alone.

i know what you mean. i thought it was just me a few weeks ago. i learned that if i relax and shrug off the emotion attatched to those feelings that the memory fading stops and i feel peace. kind of when your done meditating feeling.

I understand your experience completely.

I'm sure it must have taken alot of effort to even explain it... I know I've never been able to (kinda gave up before I even tried to).

When you mentioned the 'hallucinations', that definitely confirmed to me that I'm experiencing the same thing. It felt like winning the lottery (not that I have) when I read what you said.

At one point (quite recently) I was getting really frustrated with my inability to recall what I had just 'thought' about, because so often it feels so amazing for these 'things' to come to light. But then I kinda feel that I haven't actually forgotten, what I've learned is still there... I just can't reference it directly. Like it's locked away for only when it's needed... Or seeps through a little at a time. "Responsible learning" is the first thing that comes to mind to describe it.

I don't want to sound 'special' but I'm sure many will think they know what you're talking about and kinda describe it in a way that you feel to be far too simple. It's like... "No. You have a basic understanding... But you're on the wrong level..." That frustration is so familiar. "WHY DOESN'T ANYONE GET IT!??!?! GO DEEPER PLEASE" But then you ask yourself... "Get what, exactly?".

Yes, I may very well be doing the same thing as them.

Anyway, I don't really know what else to say about it or how we'd even start discussing it other than "yeah, I get that too". It's so vague yet so amazingly specific.