Please help me find myself

reply to post by Wehali


Journey of the souls... all I have to say is wow, opened my eyes to sooo many things. Puts a interesting spin on life as we know it as well. Definetly recommended!

Finding one's 'self' is a common teenager's goal and nothing to be concerned that people would think you crazy for. Some of us didn't find ourselves until our 20's. I know many seniors who still never found themselves.

Here's how I found me; but, beware and be ready to face that which you never thought about yourself before.

1. Write a LOT of pages about yourself. Not your history nor family ... just about YOU. If I asked you to tell me "who you are inside" ... what would your write? Tell about your qualities (good, bad and in between) and, things you are good or bad at. Seal it in an envelope and date it and put it out of your mind completely.

2. Next night, do it again but either drink a wee little bit to loosen yourself up ... and write it again without looking or thinking of what you wrote the day before. Three days separation would be better if you can wait that long. Again, seal in an envelope, date it and put it completely out of your mind.

3. Two weeks later, sit down and open these envelopes and read them from somebody else's perspective ... in other words, read them as though they were written by somebody else who you knew very well ... and then consider whether their description of themself is accurate or not ... why and how is it inaccurate? Further, describe this 'other' person ... especially the parts where they deluded themself about thier own qualities. Write an accurate assessment of this person you are studying. You must be COMPLETELY detached for this to work well. Suppose you are a boss and this is the interviewee's resume where it's the person inside who counts and there's no job prerequisites other than their honesty about themselves.

What this does is pull off your "false face" ... and makes you see yourself from the outside. You may find a lot of things that you really dislike about yourself. This is the opportunity for you to list those things you dislike and make a conscious choice whether to change those qualities or to accept them.

Once you get past the false face ... it's all smooth sailing!

reply to post by n1zzzn


This may not be the most popular answer, because a lot of people do sincerely want to help you, but you can never find yourself by asking other people. Do you notice that every single person who has answered has different advice? The more people you ask, the more wild goose chases you will go on. You have to find yourself by trusting yourself and listening to your own inner guidance. It may lead you to some book, or tape, but you have to let your own guidance system direct you. Not anyone elses. Theirs is good....for them. But it may not be the things you need to read or hear. You have to trust yourself to find yourself.

I wrote a piece on it once, after I was contemplating the issue. I dont know if it will help you at all, but here it is anyway.

The Dark Mountain

There have been so many great souls. The Gods have blessed us with so many great voices that have given us words of wisdom and love. I have often been puzzled why with so much wisdom available, humanity still seems so lost.

So, as I often do, I asked "Why?" I asked the Gods why it is that even with such an abundance of direction we so often lose our way? In answer, I was given a dream.

In the dream, I was looking at a mountain at night. Covered in darkness, except that there were small points of light here, there and everywhere. All of these lights, from the bottom to the top were moving.

Then I "Knew" why we get so lost. Like being on a mountain at night, it is pointless to call out explicit directions to someone moving below you. You cannot see where they are, nor do you know where on the mountain they began. You cannot see their path, nor even the steps that they should take to move up towards you.

At best, you could call out to them how YOU got to the place you are. But if they followed your directions explicitly, and were not in the right place, exactly where you were when you took those steps, those directions could send them plummeting off a cliff. Or onto a ledge where they might be stuck.

The only thing left then, is to SHINE. Shine as brightly as you can, while moving towards the summit on your own, following the light of those ahead of you. Those below can then use YOUR light as a beacon as they pick their own way along the treacherous pathway. Each of us has to find our own handholds, and place our own feet. If we fall, we must find within our Self the determination to begin the journey again. But the lights moving above can give us the sense of the possible. They can give us a direction to move in, something to move towards. But that is all anyone can be, a light in the darkness. No one can tell you in detail where to place your hands, your feet, nor give you the strength to climb.

So climb. Look to the bright lights ahead of you, but look knowing the path is yours and yours alone. Dont shout to those below with too much detail, their path is also theirs and theirs alone. Just shine.

Edit, To change the quotes to the external tags. I dont know the procedure for linking to ones own work.




[edit on 24-2-2009 by Illusionsaregrander]

I Know how you feel. Been there done that!
I was a astrologer, casting charts for over 30 years, had astral projections and a NDE.
Was a new ager, did the meditation, crystal gazing and chanting, heard all the gurus, read Oprahs pet Elkhart.
Believe me astrology is 100% true, but there is a reason we were warned against it. It is the worshiping of the LOWER DEITIES.
Although I was baptized Catholic I was never a practicing Catholic.
I thought that the bible was made up by a bunch of crazy people in the desert smoking funny stuff.
BUT GUESS WHAT?
The bible is 100% true, it is the most supernatural, paranormal book you will ever read. Also read the book of "Enoch", .
Enoch spoke of the 3 portals at the South, North, East and West.
Mathew states
"Wide is the path that leads to destruction, but narrow is the gate that leads to everlasting life" They are talking about portals (Gates)
You don't get out of this solar system and reach the heavens until you except the ransom Jesus paid for you soul.
The global elite worship Satan (Lucifer) but according to everyone lately your a KOOK to believe in Jesus. SORRY but if Lucifer is alive and well, GUESS what? so is JESUS.
Satan has been given dominion over this world for a period of time. He is alive and well.
The documentary Zeitgeist did so much damage to Christianity by plugging true events with religious falsehood.
Listen:
Everything is written in time and space.
Look at a Star in the sky, you see the light right? But that star may not exist anymore, we are just seeing the light that transferred across light years.
Everything has already happened along time ago we are JUST WALKING THROUGH IT.
That's why Jesus said to Satan during many confrontations
"For it is Written"
Believe or not, The choice is yours and yours alone! Period!
Research the fallen angels, Nephilim, demons, inter dimensional beings.
Joye Pughe
Steve Quayle
Tom Horn
Patrick Heron
David Flynn
Charles Missler
Hurry Time is almost at hand! Good Luck!

Originally posted by Mintwithahole.
Sure I'll help you find yourself. . !

"You're over there."

Cracking!

don't separate the word from the source of the word

Originally posted by n1zzzn
This may sound weird to some of you.

Wow. Your serious metaphysical introspection makes sense and sounds familiar.

I hope this thread in Chit Chat helps.

Hi, OP. I'm here to suggest something a little bit different. Before you try it, though, you might first want to try all the other advice you've been offered so far. I believe you'll find none of it works except in a self-hypnotizing kind of way. After you've realized that, you'll be ready to try my prescription.

Here it is: the Ultimate Self-Locator, delivered into your hands free, gratis and for nothing.

The way to find yourself is to stop looking

Quit worrying about self-realization and which spiritual path to follow. There is no self to realize and all 'spiritual paths' are blind alleys. At the end of each and every one of them lies your belly button. Forget the books, the preachers, the gurus, the gods. More blind alleys.

Instead, get on with life. Concentrate on your job (or your studies if you're still a student), your interests and hobbies, your home, your loved ones, your friends, your community, your country, your world.

Do everything you have to do, or want to do, to the very best of your ability. Don't ask whether it's worth doing - just do it. Accept duty and take responsibility - first for yourself and later, if you have the ability, for others too.

Forget about finding yourself. You are not lost; you are wherever you are and if you need to be somewhere else you already know it.

There's a job to be done. It's called living. Stop wasting time in unprofitable self-regard and get on with it.

Believe me, it is the only way.

Originally posted by Astyanax
The way to find yourself is to stop looking

...Instead, get on with life. Concentrate on your job (or your studies if you're still a student), your interests and hobbies, your home, your loved ones, your friends, your community, your country, your world.

Thank you for bringing some sense to the thread.

And this next part is not so much for the OP as for the other posters on the thread.

I'd consider myself (flatter myself, truthfully) to be a Taoist. However, I tend not to proselytise because different stuff works for different people. I completely disagree with born-again Christianity, it seems like the most banal, superstitious, guilt ridden nonsense to me... but I've met people for whom it was exactly right given their history and circumstances.

So, I don't proselytise, but I would like to explain part of the Taoist model because I think it's useful.

Taoism is pretty simple, basically. There's no guilt. You just get given exercises to do that sort you out. You're not expected to be a "better" human being. There is no "better": you just work on your integrity to remove internal conflicts and make yourself healthy.

In the Taoist model, there are eight bodies, or levels on which we exist. I'm not going to go into all of them, just the ones that seem relevant.

The first is the physical body. By performing the physical acts of moving meditations/Taoist martial arts like t'ai chi and ba gua, you work on your physical body.

The second is the "biological chi" body, the first energy body. This is spatially slightly bigger than your physical body. You work on this by doing chi gung and incorporating the lessons learned from that into the moving meditations.

The third is the emotional body. Spatially, each body is bigger than the previous one. As people know who've done bodywork, emotions and memories are anchored in physical tensions. As the moving meditations and chi gung start to dissolve these physical tensions, emotional difficulties may arise and there are Taoist meditations to deal with these issues.

The fourth is the intellectual body. Again, there are meditations to work with this. As emotional difficulties are resolved, it becomes easier to see things as they are rather than through the positive or negative filters we all carry.

The next four bodies are where the truly spiritual work begins, and Taoists would warn that unless your first four bodies are sorted out, you'll be in trouble. For example,

The fifth body is the "psychic body" and it is at this level that we become privy to "non-local" information. Unfortunately, if you don't have bodies 3 and 4 sorted out, you'll be prey to discarnate entities operating at this level, and intellectually and emotionally ill-equipped to deal with their manipulations. You need to be able to sort out truth from BS.

There is also the possibility that operating at this level when you're not fully ready can cause energetic problems at lower levels, leading to health problems.

If you follow the logic of what I've written, you'll understand why I stay away from these forums - too much unverifiable BS. And I've met people operating on levels they're not ready for... and it's not pretty.

For the record, I'm still working on the first three bodies. That's more than enough for me, thanks.

Wow I really didn't expect to get this many replies

I'm going to try to word this different. I know who I am. I know my flaws, well some of them I guess. In reference to some of the topics earlier, I am in my mid 20s as far as age goes. I do concentrate on my current line of work and love it and the people I'm privvy to work with.

I don't practice any religion although I was raised Catholic. I full heart believe in "God" but in a different sense that I was taught growing up.

Mainly, I know there's more to me than I'm taught. I know there's more to each of you responding to my thread. I know there's more to the world we share. I should consider myself lucky to even be in a position to be able to question all of the above. I can't prove it though, I can't spout forumla that proves my beliefs but I just know, in a way I cannot describe that we definitely are more than just molecules in motion.

As far as concentrating on current life, I do. The whole purpose of this thread is to give me examples of others or to be fielded questions that would change my thought train. I didn't expect to come on here and get a 100% direct answer for the truth for the life. I did expect to get some topics to research for myself that I have indeed gotten so far. This thinking isn't holding me back from anything. It's allowing me to complete my life in a different and better fashion.

I guess I should have said help me find why I am what I am and the meaning to such with curtain removed.

Thanks again for all the replies!

I have suffered from an identity crisis myself.

You might not want to do this, but honestly this helped me.

I tried having an entheogen experience. It showed me this connection that I was looking for. It was right in front of myself, but this experience made it obvious.

I'm hesitant to use a drug to experience myself and my world in the ways I seek wisdom.

I know many have done it without drugs and so can I.

***hello n1zzzn
>I am past the point of questions
***dont say that ! you are giving up on Life. sit up and concentrate.

> I've accepted the fact that I indeed know nothing.
***NO ! what u mean is that your questions have become too big,
and you think youll never find the answers. That makes u feel all the
things you DO already know have begun to seem insignificant - but
they are NOT, you just need to Pull back inside your "self"
(the defining boundary / capsule of your "soul" / body/ mind), reduce
your questions to a Manageable size, then look for SMALLER answers
one by one. For example u may know nothing about Quantum
mechanics - so what ! millions of people dont, but you DO know how
to do hundreds of other domestic / smaller things.
So your wording is reckless - you are abandoning control of yourself.

>I search for truth and pray for wisdom, every night.
***unfortunately that is a DANGEROUS practice - taught by religious
puppets to their own devils. Beware, "god" (mostly) not = "good".
and BECAUSE you have been doing TOO MUCH of that "praying"
(talking to yourself / imagined "spirits"), you are DISSIPATING your
otherwise Perspicacity / common senses. youre becoming
"spaced out". religion causes mind-damaging effects very similar
to drugs. there ARE loving forces in the universe yes, BUT, you
must seek their confirmation thru >HUMAN< channels. For example
the love of a woman (assuming youre male) can be the highest type
there is, but the "love of god" is a Dangerous / homosexual diversion
in the direction of evil and popery. NEVER put nebulous concepts
before Love of your own children
(abraham was a famous psychopath who couldnt work that out).

>I guess I'm trying to find myself,
***or in other words "who am i" ? the answer is simple :
(1) you are a human soul like everyone else (2) your name is n1zzzn
(3) your parents are ppppp (4) you work for / represent rrrrr
(5) your accomplishments in life are aaaaa (6) etc....
Just like if you asked "what is an orange, you would give a List of
attributes which distinguish that item from others (1) it is round
(2) it is a fruit (3) it is orange in color (4) it smells nice (5) etc ...

But what you more deeply mean is "oh woe is me, i am alone, i dont
know what to do to, what is my purpose in life ? so many things i
dont know, does anybody love me ? the world is such a nasty place,
life is mortal, we all die, is that the end ? whats the point ? etc etc.
well sorry n1zzzn, i cant answer all that tonight ! but you must make
your own START by >NOT< giving up. all answers are available -
as you get older, and after LOTS of searching - not in 5 mins, nor even
5 years. Take it easy, bit by bit, build up your knowledge of certainties,
and forget about things too far out of reach at the moment.

>I guess I'm just not looking in the right places.
***well youve come here, and now you know lots more ! so you were
smarter than you gave yourself credit for
>Maybe the truth it staring me in the face I assure you I am perfectly sane.
***make sure u STAY that way n1zzzn - get off your knees and quit that
"praying", you will IRONICALLY only attract evil spirits, not good,
and certainly not "god" (hes too busy f****ing up the global economy
to have any spare time talking to you). but u may find mrs.god

Originally posted by n1zzzn
This may sound weird to some of you.

Recently I've been engaged in several discussions on these forums as well as u2u's with several people all relating to spirituality.

I am past the point of questions, I've accepted the fact that I indeed know nothing. I search for truth and pray for wisdom, every night. I guess I'm trying to find myself, myself not only in me but in others and everything around me. I know it's all connected but I guess I'm just not looking in the right places.

I try to look within, maybe I've found what I'm looking for and have just overlooked it. Maybe the truth it staring me in the face and I can't see it.

I'm unsure of how to write where I need help. Or specifically what I need help on. I'm sorry that a lot might find this call for help just downright confusing. I just don't know what say or what to ask for.

I just have such an overwhelming desire to understand life, myself and the purpose of things. I believe everything is connected and that we are divine. I assure you I am perfectly sane. Please feel free to u2u me. I guess I just don't know how to word this.

Well first realize that praying is worthless. Seek with a pure desire and i dont see how you could go wrong. Of course you could be hit by a bus the next day...

Originally posted by Novise
reply to post by MischeviousElf

 

Interesting idea

An Idea for you, but an actual experience and reality and truth for many ten's of thousands who have had this experience.

I think an Teaching is a better noun.

on us judging ourselves after death, but I'm wondering how does this work? The way I see it, short of flat out abuse, most suffering is yes in response to anothers actions, but it is really brought on by ourselves. So it's very hard to cause another person pain when they are really bringing it all on themselves.

Exactly, but some things we do to each other is where someone wills or intends that you hurt or knocked down in pain etc.

On top of that, all suffering is possible only through the ego which isn't our self at all.

If you realise which is very inportant that the Ego is there, you need to explore a bit deeper what you see as a seperate "I" besides that, the illusion of the "I" is only a projection of the ego.

How do we judge ourselves!? Rather tricky to me I look forward to your response.

I'm sure you see what I mean but to further illustrate for everyone: A guy asks a girl out, she say's no. The girl is stressed out having to deal with an uneasy situation, the guy is depressed for weeks cause the girl said no. Did the girl cause the guy pain? Did the guy cause the girl pain? No they both brought it on themselves by letting it bother them so and focusing on it.

Yes you are right so you would not experience that again, if the girl said "listen I really am happy single at the moment" or "Thank you but I am not attracted to you" any pain is the ego, she couldn't experience that.

But if she said "listen you loser look at you you ugly idiot, I would rather go out with a monkey than you" then her ego is trying to gain strength and gaining pleasure from purposefully hurting someone else, so she would experience how he felt, that is how I remember it.

However, it was a strange experience, like all of a sudden being the cold broke lonely homeless person you only noticed for a millisecond as you walked past and thought "loser" or avoided eye contact on purpose, or wouldnt share a $ or £ even though you just bought £100 worth of new and uneeded clothes, I saw myself and his pain through his eyes, and many others like him/her.

Many of the things we take for nothing here are actually quite a big deal.

When you shout at someone and are doing it in defence of your ego, or as attack is the best form of defence, you will see your own ugly look at you shout and how it looks and feels from the other person point of view, as soon as the ego operates anything you will re experience it from the second person point of view, and then later how that made that person get angry with someone later that day, and from the third person point of view, ripples in the pond as such.

Kind regards,

Elf.

[edit on 24-2-2009 by MischeviousElf]

Thanks MischeviousElf, I just wanted to hear more about it. And I really enjoyed the story about the journeys and lights along the mountain Illusionsaregrander.

Astyanax quote: "There's a job to be done. It's called living. Stop wasting time in unprofitable self-regard and get on with it."

I don't necessarily disagree but to me all of it is living, even meditating to the point of whatever, contemplating, introspecting, etc. . So you can't really escape from life or reality, no matter what you do, it's all living and it's all reality.

I do know that if I hadn't taken a "timeout" and "gotten away" (figuratively) for a little while and changed the way I looked at things then I would probably be unhappy and in a bad way right about now... But now I realize that I never really took a timeout or escaped to anywhere, I was living the whole time and there is no way for me to honestly say I was doing anything but that the whole time.