Boy, 13, becomes father

Wow, what would cause a 13 year old to desire to become a father at that young of an age? When I was 13, the last thing I was interested in was MORE responsibility. Desiring to start a family was the furthest thing from my mind when I was 13. Gee, this must be a really mature and responsible 13 year old, to want to begin taking on such responsibilities at such a young age. Hell, there are grown adults that can't even take care of their own families, and here we have a 13 year old that is wanting to be a papa? Hum, well, as long as he is ready to assume those responsibilities, more power to him. So, how does this 13 year old support his family?

Originally posted by Divinorumus
Desiring to start a family was the furthest thing from my mind when I was 13.

There is often a difference between what we want and what we get. The largest difference is that which we get we have to deal with. It would not be an issue if the boy kept his body parts to himself, but since he did not he's responsible for not only the result of his life, but the life of his child. (Personally I believe he's responsible for the life of his partner as well)

Originally posted by Divinorumus
So, how does this 13 year old support his family?

By any legal means possible, hopefully the support of family and the grace of God.

[edit on 13-2-2009 by saint4God]

Originally posted by Mike_A

Originally posted by Hellish-D
As was said before, many cultures around the world have successful family units at this age as the standard.

Such as?

As I mentioned before, the !Kung are an example. As are the native people of Papua New Guinea. There are many others, but I'm not going to be the one to do your homework for you.

Ethnicity doesn’t come into it; there are nations in all continents where parenthood can only legally or traditionally begin above the age of 15. I don’t think anyone said or meant that white people/countries are better than none white.

I don't think anyone mentioned ethnicity. I mentioned culture, but you should know the difference. If not, then take a look, it's in a book.

Originally posted by nixie_nox


Societal values have nothing to do with. There just is not the maturity to handle a child when you are a child yourself.

A thirteen year old doesn't have the first clue about raising children. They barely have dealt with their own hormones.

They can't even get a job to pay for diapers, much less braces and college and food adn formula.

societal values my arse.

Oh my dear friend, but they do.

You have been brought up in an egocentric society that has taught you our way is the only right way, but as others have mentioned - that isn't necessarily so.

In many places that's just what people do and they usually live with extended families who assist and teach them how to care for and raise their children.

There are 13 year olds in many places working to provide for their families, there are 13 year olds firing weapons in wars as I write this.

Western society has dolls instead of real babies most of the time and we attempt to extend our childhoods for as long as possible, so we can spend more time being cared for in order an get higher educations.

I'm not putting you down for being egocentric - I'm just pointing out that our ideas of "civilized" or "values" may be right for us, but that doesn't mean they are the only right way in our world.

[edit on 13-2-2009 by verylowfrequency]

Originally posted by nixie_nox
reply to post by Hellish-D

 

this is a question, not a challenge. But how is the gross national production, education, and all around culture of those socities? are they technologically and medically advanced?

Gross national product is directly related to international trade via a capitalist market. You're making your judgments based on your cultural ideals and values. You judge cultural achievement based on technological and medical advancement, but not everyone does.

I'll also add that many of the populations that practice marriage at the argued age have existed for thousands of years successfully. And it is true that they are now beginning to die out, it is not because of their marriage practices, but because of the introduction of outside cultural ideals into their existing and proven culture.

reply to post by verylowfrequency


Cool. I apologize for not making the correct inference.

Well as I do agree they may grow up doing the same thing, just because their parents did it, is still no excuse. And I see alot of people these days claiming they are the way they are because of there parents. And I cant stand it. Nobody wants to take responsibility for themselves anymore.

I grew up with pretty unfortunate cirumstances, but its no excuse for me to go and snort coke and say "I had a hard life, blame it on my parents."

I dont know im just ranting. Thanks for the post.

Whenever I read stories like this I dont get disgusted or sick to my stomach as some have said. I am only reminded that we are all humans and we all make mistakes. But unlike many who make this kind of mistake they chose the more responsible path as opposed to the "easy way out". I applaud them for showing wisdom despite their years. I wish people would stop being so sensitive to this type of thing.

Yeah definetly. At least there taking responsibilty. An abortion would have been an easy way out for them and they didnt do it. So best wishes to there family.

Originally posted by StevenDye
Abortion is wrong for all but the most extreeme cases, and the fact that they didn't have an abortion is in my eyes a good thing.

And in my eyes, forcing unwanted children into the world and then abandoning them to the abuse and neglect that virtually all unwanted children receive is far more heinous and causes a much greater strain on society as they grow up - given that virtually all sociopaths and psychopaths were the product of abuse and/or neglect.

Perhaps you could define "extreme cases...?"

There are a few things that we have to remember here. In some society's it may be perfectly acceptable for a child who is 13 years of age to have a child as well as be able to support the child. Unfortunately for this 13 year old boy he does not live in one of those societies. He is in a society where it is difficult to earn a decent income without a high school or college degree.

I would also like to say that while it is partially the parents fault that this happened, it could happen to many children. Everybody is quick to blame the parents until it happens to their child. Children are curious and in this case that curiosity lead to a child. Some people believe that they have their children on lock down and know what they are doing all the time which makes them good parents. Others here may believe that they have thought their children the importance of safe sex and know their children will be as safe a possible when having sex. It only takes one mistake to make a baby.

Originally posted by saint4God
I'm not asking for anyone to force the father to love (because as far as I know that's impossible) but three things we can do as a society is 1.) Hold him financially responsible 2.) Hold him legally responsible and finally 3.) Encourage him to give fatherhood a shot.

Problem is he is 13. He can't be held legally or financially responsible. He's barely old enough to be considered responsible enough to do his homework without his parents telling him to.



Babies raising babies may work in some cultures, but those are also cultures where the entire community raises the children not just the parents. Fact is this boy is a child and while he physically may be capable of creating a child, mentally and emotionally he is still a child. Doesn't matter how you spin it, he's still practically a baby himself.

reply to post by saint4God


At age 13?
in the uk they arent even of legal age to drink, work fulltime, Drive, Smoke
dont see it that way

Video here = www.ebaumsworld.com...

All I can say is EEEEKKKK!

Unreal couple though - he's 13 going on 8 and she's whatever her age is going on 40...

God help them both and little *Maisy*...

peace


[edit on 13-2-2009 by silo13]

It gave me shivers when the reporter asked "What will you do financially?"

And the kid replied "What's Financially?"

Won't end well is my guess

news.bbc.co.uk...

The Williams sisters, who live with their mother in a council house in Derby, feature in a BBC3 documentary called Desperate Midwives.


Natasha, the oldest, Jade and Jemma, the youngest, are reported to receive £600 a week in benefits.

Their mother Julie Atkins, 38, who said the girls were too young and had ruined their lives, blamed schools for providing poor quality sex education.

article for my previous statement, mothers incomputant as she couldnt teach her daughters anything so she blamed the schools.

also on another interview teenage girls said its a good thing as they would get a house from the state and be sorted for life.

Originally posted by Hellish-D

Originally posted by Mike_A

Ethnicity doesn’t come into it; there are nations in all continents where parenthood can only legally or traditionally begin above the age of 15. I don’t think anyone said or meant that white people/countries are better than none white.

I don't think anyone mentioned ethnicity. I mentioned culture, but you should know the difference. If not, then take a look, it's in a book.

You did.

Ethnocentrism is an ugly little monster

And don't be condescending it makes you come off as a dick.


Also you gave one example, but said many. I don't count that as many.

Edit - Just to clarify the point was about the ability of a 13 year old to care for a child, and in most societies where children of this age do have kids they don't raise them alone.

Edit (again) - Forgot to add, I've been doing my homework and all I can find on the !kung suggests that the average age of mothers at first child birth is 19; typically with older men. Though marriage and sexual intercourse can begin much earlier.

[edit on 13-2-2009 by Mike_A]

[edit on 13-2-2009 by Mike_A]

[edit on 13-2-2009 by Mike_A]

[oh yeah right, lets not give them any sex education and then they wont even think about it till theyre 16!!
dont think it works that way. teenages will think about sex before they hit 16, its a biological thing as well, we in the uk call it puberty. you may have heard off it.

Gotta love socialists societies. You wonder why the world is going to hell its because the stupid government bails out stupid people. I want to know where the father was when all of this was going on especially the girls father. I am not going to let some walking boner spend any time with my child alone. I won't even let her date unless he takes her out and pays for it with me being within eyes distance. Children do not even understand the consequences of their hormonal actions and its our obligation as a parent to protect them. I spend 9 months a year on the ocean to support my child and guess what its hard to do. I even make more than 80% of americans do and I'll be the first to tell You 100k a year does not go far at all especially if You are paying a house note and 2 car notes. So I don't know how this little punk is going to step up and be a man because its not going to happen ..... Oh btw I hate jerks that act like men with their chests all pushed out but can't even support or will not support their own children.

Of course this boy did not think about "becoming a father" as a result of his actions and neither did the girl in all likelihood; although for her, because she is a bit older, maybe she did.
I am pleased that the child appears to be healthy - that is a wonder and a blessing.
I am impressed that the boy/father appears to be taking such a sincere interest in his daughter now that the reality is upon him - cudos!
I appears to me that the boy/father has a supportive family behind him. That bodes well for the young man and his family of procreation.
I cannot say so much about the mother of the child -- I suspect a greater deal of negligence all around there.
Point is, this birth has happened, by unplanned and perhaps reckless circumstances, but it has happened nevertheless. The world hasn't come to an end, and I think this family, and this baby have a fair chance of a productive life.
Why must some people always focus on the negatives and worst possibilities when there is lots of evidence that in this case, while its an amazing story, its not so bad either.
They have my best wishes for all the trials they/he will face.