Nonreligious person + Very Religous Person: Can it work?

Can it work between two people who have very different philosophies?

Would it be right to go to church with a person of faith even though the other person would be lying to themself and to their religious partner?

Is it right for a nonreligious person to keep their mouth shut about their philosophy regarding their disagreement with religion for the sake of the relationship?

To the religious ats members: would you date someone who you knew didn't believe in religion?

Can a relationship work where the only major disagreement is religion?

Any thoughts on the matter would be much appreciated.

[edit on 30-1-2009 by Cool Hand Luke]

[edit on 30-1-2009 by Cool Hand Luke]

Personaly I wouldnt be with someone that didnt share the same religious views as me because at some point or another one of us would have to let go of our views in order to become closer to the other person.
But thats just my view anyhow.

Bear in mind the following is just my feelings and opinions.

Originally posted by Cool Hand Luke
Can it work between two people who have very different philosophies?

It would depend on how wide the philosophical Gulf is or was . As an Atheist I would have no problems getting along with an a person who holds Agnostic beliefs .

Would it be right to go to church with a person of faith even though the other person would be lying to themself and to their religious partner?

I wouldn't got Church for anybody because I don't want to support organised religion .

Is it right for a nonreligious person to keep their mouth shut about their philosophy regarding their disagreement with religion for the sake of the relationship?

Most certainly not . Although that is not say that if a couple want to they shouldn't try to accommodate each other beliefs . The mentality can lead to people not reporting there spouses abuses of them if it is taken to far .

Can a relationship work where the only major disagreement is religion?

There is no definitive answer it would all depend on the people involved .

i think it can work, but normally it doesnt.

if the couple can respect each other´s views, then thats one thing. if the religious mate is constantly pushing the non-religious to go to church or temple, then they are not respecting the other´s views. the opposite applies too.

it would have to be a live and let live scenario to an extreme. which is why it probably wont work, because one thing humans dont do well is live and let live. especially if one views the opposing philosophy as ¨stupid¨ or ¨illogical¨, then its going to be hard to just ignore it.

Depends on how tolerant people are. If people aren't that tolerant to the other's views, or if they are extreme in their positions, then it won't work.

Well, unless you can ignore your own opinion and not speak your mind. But then I'm not sure how healthy that relationship would be.

I have dated religious girls, and even though religion didn't play a part in our breaking up, it would always create some tension when we discussed religion or religion matters, because I'm not one to ignore my opinions and not speak my mind.

Originally posted by converge
I have dated religious girls, and even though religion didn't play a part in our breaking up, it would always create some tension when we discussed religion or religion matters, because I'm not one to ignore my opinions and not speak my mind.

you arent lying LOL

I know plenty of mixed Catholic/Jewish couples.

Someone's gotta give...somewhere....seems to be the only way it works...(i.e. they may go to Catholic mass, but eat Kosher, etc.)....(just from personal observation)....

Originally posted by funky monk
Personaly I wouldnt be with someone that didnt share the same religious views as me because at some point or another one of us would have to let go of our views in order to become closer to the other person.
But thats just my view anyhow.

I think you're right. Especially when neither is willing to sacrifice their philosophy for that of another.

Originally posted by Gazrok
I know plenty of mixed Catholic/Jewish couples.

Someone's gotta give...somewhere....seems to be the only way it works...(i.e. they may go to Catholic mass, but eat Kosher, etc.)....(just from personal observation)....

Now I know alot of couples that are protestant/catholic, jewish/christian, even sikh/christian. I think these relationships work because most of the religions essentially believe the same thing. But I have never encountered an antireligious person with a religious person.

reply to post by Cool Hand Luke


interesting question.

My take on the issue will probably go against everyone's replies here. I am a muslim (but not the extreme kind) and am married to someone who was raised a buddhist, then transitioned to atheism, then converted to islam, and now regressed back to atheism again. he is as non-religious as one can get.

I on the other hand consider myself religious and try to practice as the best I can.

we get along just fine. sure, there are days when he is fed up with people and their preaching - especially since we live near a major church and two catholic schools. And there are days when i cannot fathom how he can't see 'intelligent design' within the universe around him. But all in all we have decided that we agree to disagree. He lets me be when it comes to practicing my own religion, and i take the approach of 'nodding & smiling' when he has his moments.

The only tricky part is that of children. I know when we start a family, i would like to educate them about various religious doctrines including Islam, Christianity, Judaism and off course Buddhism. My husband however feels that they should be taught that there is 'NO' God.

I foresee problems in that instance however, both him and I have stuck through much tougher things and I am sure we can come to an amiable solution.

In a nutshell, an atheist and a religious person in a relationship can work - but ONLY if they don't shove their personal beliefs down each other's throats and respect each other's boundaries.

My wife and I are similar. She's Catholic (though more lax these days), and I'm....(I guess Agnostic is the closest thing...I'm spiritual in a sense and believe there's some intelligence behind our creation, I just don't follow any organized faith or any one idea of what God is)...

i would like to educate them about various religious doctrines including Islam, Christianity, Judaism and off course Buddhism. My husband however feels that they should be taught that there is 'NO' God.

Well, if they go to college, he won't have much choice in the matter, learning about different religions are required courses for undergrad and graduate degrees.... I can see his beef though. He knows that the reason religion is perpetuated is largely due to shaping the beliefs when children are young. However, he should trust that his children will be capable of fully deciding for themselves when they are older.

I think it depends on the open-minded extent of both individuals and also what kind of relationship you have already.
If you feel you need to explore the concepts of religion further than this may just fine. They may be sitting on the fence also. Perhaps it would be an idea to discuss this with the other person to see where they stand before furthuring the relationship.
I like to think we are a species that is evolving, nevertheless there are aspects of some religions that are definite and unevolving and i have found that this often creates similar patterns in our behavior that generally slows our growth as individuals and as a species.
Additionally you may find it very comforting and inviting at church... religion is tied into our socio-economic existance.
Try to be true to yourself and what 'your' insticts tell you...
I was brought up Anglican and exist now simply as other species do.

Originally posted by Cool Hand Luke
Can it work between two people who have very different philosophies?

Would it be right to go to church with a person of faith even though the other person would be lying to themself and to their religious partner?

Is it right for a nonreligious person to keep their mouth shut about their philosophy regarding their disagreement with religion for the sake of the relationship?

To the religious ats members: would you date someone who you knew didn't believe in religion?

Can a relationship work where the only major disagreement is religion?

Any thoughts on the matter would be much appreciated.

[edit on 30-1-2009 by Cool Hand Luke]

[edit on 30-1-2009 by Cool Hand Luke]

The Bible itself says that as long as they make each other happy, they should stay together. Of course, if they have directly contradicting outlooks on life, then they are better off not trying to convert each other.

reply to post by 04326



That's the problem -- an atheist is liable to be completely dishonest. What is his moral compass?

He has already stated his desire to teach your children that God does not exist. Any desire that he abandon his own beliefs and come around to seeing everything your way is you hoping that you will change him, albeit indirectly.