Can someone help me even psychic?

I have been depressed of late.

I have very low self esteem of myself. He tells me he dont want to leave me and says all sorts of wonderful and then harsh things about me.

I dont feel connected to him anymore and hoping someone can talk to me. I dont want to lose him but at the same time dont want to be with him and am afraid i wont find anyone else because of our child. We are not married.

Im hoping someone can see deep inside about whats going on with us can u2u me perhaps.

I would like to make some friends as im a pretty lonely person and find it hard to communicate with people. Im 27 yrs old and am faithful person.

I have no idea why im typing this here and just blurting it out but i cant stop crying.

[edit on 26-1-2009 by dreamingalittledream]

[edit on 26-1-2009 by dreamingalittledream]

Please someone anybody im really going nutters as i dont knwo where to turn too. Id rather talk to someone here then a councillor.

I'm not a psychic.

But I see your in pain. You can get through this!

What do you "want"? Do you want to leave him and be free of him? And how would he feel? Is he violent? Or kind?

reply to post by dreamingalittledream


I dont think anyone here can really advise you what to do - that is up to you. I went through similar. I was with someone 8 years, 5 of those years i was with him because i didn't want to hurt him, and i was scared that if if this was the best it would ever be and would i ever find someone who could make me happpy. A friend once told me, if you are with him out of love for him, then stay, if its through not wanting to hurt his feelings then thats unfair and should leave him. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.I was not only cheating myself out of finding true happiness, I was also preventing someone else from giving him that.
I left and never looked back. Please be true to yourself but as you say there is a child involved so i understand your situation is diffrent. Listen to your heart, hope you sort your problems out either way.

take care and best wishes

MCoG

Originally posted by _Phoenix_
I'm not a psychic.

But I see your in pain. You can get through this!

What do you "want"? Do you want to leave him and be free of him? And how would he feel? Is he violent? Or kind?

He has this strong anger i cannot stand and i somettimes find him getting boring. Like im young of mind but he wants me too mature and be his perfect little princess and i cant cater to that. I dont see myself the way he wants me. It goes way deeper then that too. We are 7yrs apart and im not intune with him. Somettimes we are connected then we dont want the same things.

Originally posted by MCoG1980
reply to post by dreamingalittledream

 

I dont think anyone here can really advise you what to do - that is up to you. I went through similar. I was with someone 8 years, 5 of those years i was with him because i didn't want to hurt him, and i was scared that if if this was the best it would ever be and would i ever find someone who could make me happpy. A friend once told me, if you are with him out of love for him, then stay, if its through not wanting to hurt his feelings then thats unfair and should leave him. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.I was not only cheating myself out of finding true happiness, I was also preventing someone else from giving him that.
I left and never looked back. Please be true to yourself but as you say there is a child involved so i understand your situation is diffrent. Listen to your heart, hope you sort your problems out either way.

take care and best wishes

MCoG

Thankyou for your advice. Im reflecting so much on it that honestly i never know what to do.
It kind of hurts. Ther eis this young guy at the gym who gives me the get to know you look and he dont know im a mum as people think i look 18. It hurts me that he notices me and my partner treats me like he owns me. He is not as sexually active with me and actually rejects me if im overly kinky. I dont know if it is his age or stress or me.

[edit on 26-1-2009 by dreamingalittledream]

What follows is my personal opinion, and is not a professional viewpoint, nor does it reflect that of ATS or it's staff, just me.

It really comes down to if the relationship is the best you both deserve. Sounds to me as though you deserve better, and perhaps the child as well. If he expects more from than who you are, tough. You need to be accepted as is, and such goes both ways.

If he doesn't cause your heart to race as it once did, or the tension causes more issues than can be tolerated, it's ok, people change or their true colors may have started showing. It always depends on the situation, and conditions pertaining it.

People know what is best for them, they can feel it. Go with that feeling because it is there for a reason. It helped us get this far hasn't it.

[I hope that makes sense]

[edit on 26-1-2009 by ADVISOR]

Gonna have to echo all of the above...

I dont want to lose him but at the same time dont want to be with him and am afraid i wont find anyone else because of our child.

Let's take the above statement apart a bit...

1. I don't want to lose him....
You obviously need acceptance from others for validation. You WILL and CAN make it all on your own just fine, and yes, even with your child. You have to love yourself before others can truly love you. Not being in love anymore does NOT make you a bad person...just an honest one.

2. don't want to be with him...
See, you said it all right there. He's a safety net at this point, for your emotional well being....

3. afraid i wont find anyone else because of our child...
That's just an excuse you're making to yourself. There are plenty of guys who actually look forward to being an instant father, believe it or not. In addition, you and your child deserve for you to be in a loving relationship.

You can stay if you want, but eventually, it will likely end badly, and in the process, from example, your child will learn only what's wrong with relationships, instead of what's right, and may develop relationship problems of his/her own as he/she gets older.

All of the above is strictly my own personal opinion of course, take it or leave it....