Are you happy or a happy person? What do you think is the key to happiness?

I will chime in to add what I think are two key words in the pursuit of happiness; they are 'balance' and 'flow'. A sense of personal balance is, to me, the key to triggering the 'flow' which I equate to 'happiness'.

Maintaining personal balance is a constant working/mindful state. There is, to me, no such thing as a negative emotion as all emotions are an indicator of balance.

If, to example, I find myself, silently or otherwise, raging-out at my mate for 'drinking out of the milk carton' (metaphor) and ask myself why, I am ultimately left with myself and my boudaries which I do not feel are being respected. Then I ask myself if those boundaries are legitimate, or are they a measure of control.

At this point the anger disapates because I am now on a journey of introspection which leads, by dint of being mindful of all of this and questioning myself, to a state of... balance.

And for me, balance creates flow.

If I've got my 'flow on' it does not matter what is happening in my external environment. I can, not only deal, but can more easily see opportunities to experience each moment in a 'positive' light. It becomes postive because I know I am examing, and appreciating, my emotions be they 'negative' or 'positive'.

Hence, balance creates flow and I am empowered... which is, to my mind, the key to happiness.

reply to post by Jazzyguy


I'm happy even though i have every reason not to be. I've always looked on the positive side. Yes i have posted threads on ATS which could be considered doom laden or negative but i post those simply out of a love of debating.

I think the key to happiness is appreciating the small things in life. Something as simple as the blossom on a plum tree, the song of a bird or the company of friends, family and the occasional woman

Basically just laying back, not getting caught up in problems, believing everything will work out and generally trying to look at the good stuff you have that many others don't.

I'm the total opposite of happy. I'm trying to find happiness but finding a lot more sorrow and misery. Also repeated failure isn't exactly a great feeling neither.

reply to post by Angry Potato


Sorry to hear you are not feeling happy AT ALL but here is some advice - The less disappointment and disillusionment you have in your life - the happier you will be....so try to stop feeling these things.

reply to post by mrwupy

Not to pry, but have you been tested for allergies to mold and certain
foods? Doctors are finding out that a lot of people with "ADD" and "ADHD" actually have serious allergic reactions to environmental stimuli. Look into it, it is worth the cost especially if you are doing better without meds.
Good to see you are doing good on your own though.

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
I am happy! I have been happy for a long time.

I think the "secret" to my happiness is that it is not dependent on external circumstances. It is generated by me. It's a decision I make. It's a choice. Once a person chooses happiness for some time, that becomes the norm. I have days that I "get depressed", but they are rare. Overall, I'm a very happy person.

Such thing can only works on a person who's not bounded by anything (such as a monk), or an ignorant person. A person cannot choose to be happy when circumstances do not support such condition, unless that person choose to detach from those conditions.

And only a very powerful souls can generate happiness that can overcome the current world circumstances. Such soul may exists, but if he or she chooses to do so, it would be a total interference to the world's fate.

Originally posted by Angry Potato
I'm the total opposite of happy. I'm trying to find happiness but....

The two biggest contributors to unhappiness are:

Disillusionment and Disappointment

Why don't you try to examine the role these feelings play in contributing to your ongoing unhappiness

The key to happiness is not to worry about it. If you dwell on why you are not happy, unhappy you will be.

If you donn't ever think about it, being happy will abound, and even the smallest things will make you happy.

reply to post by Jazzyguy

Are you happy or a happy person? What do you think is the key to happiness? I believe discussion about happiness is always an important one, strangely.. people don't talk much about whether they are happy or not

when I was younger - young enough to really get behind the idea that the whole point of life was to be happy - a relative of mine had one of those needlepoint sayings hung on the wall - one that I won't be able to quote correctly, but it was something along the lines of:

The whole point of life is not to be happy - it is to be useful - be responsible - to have made some kind of difference in the world...

like I said - that's not it exactly - but that's the basic gist of the thing

used to piss me off each and every time I saw it - because I genuinely believed that our main goal in life was not just to be happy - but to learn what it is to be happy - to learn the real value of things, who we are - etc - all towards the ultimate goal of actually being happy

and I thought - who is this dour person - this grim, sad, pleasure deprived individual that could really believe such a thing? (the saying wasn't attributed to anyone - so, I have no idea...)

and then, as life went on - and I inevitably went through some not so pleasant experiences - as we all do - and experienced my fair share of doubts, fear, pain - and out and out misery - I realized at a certain point that my unhappiness was directly connected to my expectations of how happy I should be

as soon as I gave up those expectations the weirdest thing happened - I was happy most of the time

it really allowed me to recognize things for what they are - and appreciate them while they were happening

I essentially gave up longing

doesn't mean I'm never unhappy - that I don't want things to be different, that I'm always grateful - that I'm never angry - or that I never whine :-)

I certainly wouldn't call myself enlightened - not even close

but - I realized that by taking the pressure off, and letting go of some of the unrealistic expectations I had concerning happiness and the meaning of happiness - I was actually happier - in general

and - turns out the magic needlepoint was right - I got more out of trying to be useful and not focus on being happy than I ever got out of just trying to be happy

.... one that I won't be able to quote correctly, but it was something along the lines of:

The whole point of life is not to be happy - it is to be useful - be responsible - to have made some kind of difference in the world...

like I said - that's not it exactly - but that's the basic gist of the thing

Helpful insights! The strange thing is that being useful, responsible, helpful so on does ultimately make you happy anyway.

By your signature I see you like funny monkeys so what do you think of my little plastic fellow

[edit on 2/6/2009 by MyXlog]

Read this free online book, and try out the meditation mp3 for at least a week, and I guarantee that you will be much happier.

The book:

"Living on Love -- The Messenger" - Klaus Joehle

The mp3:

livingonlove.com...

reply to post by MyXlog


pretty cute

and useful :-)

Happy?

Who knows?

Most people are so full of chemicals, whether, prescription, self medicated,
food additives, toxic environment, over the counter, etc.

People only feel the way the drugs/chemicals make them feel.

The keys to happiness can be prescribed and bought.

It's possible to trick yourself into happiness.

But Ecstasy requires other people.

Right now, personally it's all good!!

[edit on 7-2-2009 by whaaa]

Ah, the key to happiness. Ive thought about this for years. I have to come up with a definite answer, but I do believe everyone has the choice to be happy no matter the circumstance they are in.

The key to happiness may just be choosing to be happy. Most people are very comfortable with sulking around. When in reality there is alot to be grateful about, even if its just waking up in the morning. When someone asks me how my day was I reply "Im alive! So, its been pretty good so far!"

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


I believe other people have something to do with us being happy or not. To me other people is at least half the key.

A child most of the time seems happy. So children could also hold the secret of happiness.

If I have to come up with a definite answer then I'll say, it depends whether a soul feels free or not. And love does help in freeing the soul. The more you have love or feel love or generate love, the more free you are, hence the happier you are.

In conclusion, a free soul is a happy soul. And you have to have a clean soul too, spiritually I mean. Hey, if you're dirty how can you be free. And.. and.. you definitely have to be open for love.

How about yourself? Are you happy?

Hmm, well said. Some days im happy, others im not. Most of the time I dont even know! =]

I think it depends on the person, really. One person may consider something to be the key to their happiness, while to the other person, it may be different. Different people need different things to be happy. Its definetly something to ponder.

reply to post by Jazzyguy


The more empathic you are, the more you feel pain from others. Their pain becomes your pain. Awareness is the exact same.

Osho says that bliss is not the same as happiness. Bliss is between happiness and sadness. Bliss is balanced in between the extremes, avoiding the exhausting drag from one extreme to another.

But, ignorance can be relaxing. Practically speaking, sure, I can meditate and trick myself into forgetting all knowledge, like I'm really seriously ignorant, and it does feel good. But, that's nothing to get addicted to and live by every hour of the day. It's simply a rest period for rejuvenation, THAT'S ALL! Any more than that and you become soft, then lazy, then weak, then you start to die. Hedonism doesn't work. The body and brain need exercise, for lack of a better term. If we don't exercise our body, it become weak, lifeless and unhealthy. The same goes for our constitution. You don't really feel alive unless you are in a fight for something that you associate with survival. And, when you survive these tests, you build character and become stronger. All signs of beauty are signs of strength and health. But, I'm becoming a firm believer that certain things in our psyche just don't "switch on" until we are forced to exercise some of the survival strategies that we are all wired with, thanks to 1000's of years of evolution living on the razor's edge. We didn't evolve living happy all the damn time.

Are you happy or a happy person? At the moment, no. I not a happy person. I happen to rant everyday!

What do you think is the key to happiness? Just smile while living in blissful denial that everyone and everything of this planet happens to be honky-dory.

reply to post by Jazzyguy


My key to being happy is......not wanting anything!!!!

I don't need all the crap that is advertised in the media. I don't have an Ipod, gameconsole, nice shiny car...heck, i don't even have a cellphone and it's great!!!!

I can honestly say i never expected anything out of this life!! I love to help people and enjoy a beautiful sunrise but that's about it. I believe we a pre-programmed "happy" but that changes when you can't get the things you want!!!

That's about the size of my life philosophy....

Peace