Did my ExHusband enroll our teenage son in a cult?

I am very concerned that my exhusband enrolled our 17 year old son in hardlined fundamentalist christian cult masked as an alternative high school educational program that he has no chance of escaping from.

Here is the website:

heritageboysacademy.com...

I can't find anything on the website showing the staff's credentials or how their high school curriculum works or who it's approved by.

Their beliefs, as stated on their "What We Believe" page, is very concerning because it shows such intolerance towards other christians, females, religions, political ideals and the list goes on...



To give some history, my former spouse of 15 years, who is currently an Active Duty E-9 SEAL and I are engaged in a custody dispute over our teenage daughter and son. Currently he has full custody of both, but he is now on sea duty status and our son has been living with me because they were not getting along. A Guardian Ad Litem has been ordered to determine which parent is best suited for custody. The court date is set for March.

Approximately a week ago, my son got pysically abusive with me, this isn't the first time. I had to call the police to diffuse the situation. He has been very hard to handle through out his life. That night, his father came to get him. Once he was at his dad's home, he punched him in the eye and then his father called the police- this wasn't his first time either. His father had to have a titanium plate put in his eye - he hit him very hard. I haven't talked to my son since - trying to cool things off.

Tonight I talked to my ex over the phone and he just now revealed that he sent our son to a military school, which he said had some christian beliefs. I told him that I thought it may have been the right thing to do but that I was upset he didn't notify me before hand so I could check out the school. He said he didn't want to tell me because I could blow his cover. Apparently what happened was a couple of men from the school came to get him in the predawn hours. They drove him to the airport and then flew down with him under tight security to Panama City, FL where he is currently. After I got off the phone, I checked out the website. I was shocked.

I became a Christian in 2005 & have been as gentle and private as possible about my faith. I don't attend church because of the confusing messages that come forth such as this one that reads above. My son & I would get into some serious debates about belief in God and he has put me down for believing in Him. I fear he will have a difficult time coming to God with such a message of hate and intolerance such as this school instructs! My son definately needs reformation but not this spiritual confusion! I love my son! He has rebeled because his eyes are open and he has revealed all adults for the hypocrites they are, including myself- the previous All American Housewife- NOT! Help me save him! But how?

This sounds like the epitome of mind control at it's most evil.
There's really only one main rule in life "Harm no one and be compassionate."
This cult of mind control will ruin your son's mind and create a miserable
closeminded, UPTIGHT wackjob who will be ruined for life.

They are intolerant of everyone except xerox copies of themselves.
The world is made up of wonderful individuals, very different and
your son will lack coping skills and warmheartedness.
It doesn't get any worse than this nazification of young innocent minds.

sounds like this kid is to far gone to be helped. If he's stupid, crazy, or apathetic enough to nail a seal in the eye, nothing is going to get through to him. He'll either grow out of it or he wont. Best wishes to your family though. I'd pray about it if I were you.

I am not going to sit here and tell you how to raise your kid. But he does seem to be on the wild side and he may need to go to place when he can learn some discipline before he ends up in the slammer. I am not sure it is this place though. There are traditional Military Schools out there. This one doesn't seem to have any credentials and doesn't seem to have anything about book learning either. It is just trying to shove God and discipline down their throats.

reply to post by Electricneo


That sounds like a pretty good rule, "Harm no one and be compassionate" but this, unfortunately, is what he was doing the opposite of.

I bet he is so sad and pissed off right now.

that is really unfortunate. i seriously feel for you and your family.
from what you have stated i could only suggest that you and your ex take a good hard look at your lifes up to this point and really assess the impact that has had on your son. show him that you love and care about him and try respecting his beliefs. religion wont save him and neither will the military. only he can save himself.
the best you can do here is to be there for him if and when he needs it.

i really hope that things work out for you all.

reply to post by bigvig316


I agree I would look for a more traditional military school. That seems pretty intolerant.

reply to post by midnightbrigade


I don't think that he is too far gone to be helped, I just think this spiritual based intolerance of other religions, fellow christians, women and political ideals that this cult teaches is not what he needs. He needs hope and to learn tolerance and compassion.

Thanks for your support.

reply to post by bigvig316


Yes, he is definately on the wild side. And you are right, I can't find anything either regarding credentials, book learning and so forth.

Who the heck are these people? They look so normal. It is apparent these people have come to terms with their hatred towards fellow christians, other religions, liberal viewpoints, progressive women and so forth by appearing to look normal, but they are really seething with intolerance inside, as stated on their "Beliefs" page. They spew their intolerance quite boldly. My son is smart enough to see right through them and his hatred, his current uncompassionate and intolerant nature which landed him there in the first place, may later be placed in the exact position as theirs. That is not brilliant. Pure and true reformation should strive to eradicate hatred not channel it into finding something else to hate. Gee, now our son can stop hating his hypocritcal parents and hate homesexuals instead. What a concept. Maybe they'll prep him to bomb abortion clinics too. These are educators? Give me a break.

My head is pounding. I am dumbfounded. I can't believe my ex didn't even consult with me - we are in the middle of a custody dispute, which has taken months to come about and now this.

reply to post by optyk phyba


Wow, thanks for the support, and in turn I will do the same for him. I love him very much but didn't get a chance to say so when he left my house and now he is all the way in FL and my ex tells me that he can't accept phone calls for 2 months. And when he is able to call, he can only talk to his father first.

If I drove down and broke him out, because I don't have custody of him yet, I'd be charged with kidnapping my own son and the police would be after me; although, I know my son would go willingly with me. He'll be 18 in June - not long away. But then I wonder what that would teach him? Maybe I could start a campaign, "Free my son", but what would that teach him?

Your son doesn't sound wild, just confused. Take it from a younger person not too far removed from 17, He just needs an outlet. I know that is what I needed, and I found mine in spirituality, meditation, chakra work, etc. But to each his own, you know. Your son doesn't sound that wild to me, but I used to run with a gang, rob people, sell drugs, and I don't mean weed. It got so bad in my house that I got kicked out of it at 15. Had to grow up quick, and in hindsight thats the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I still had these energies that needed an outlet, but I was too pre occupied with just living and school, to even act out. When I had the time, I read upon spirituality and mysticism, and found a very enjoyable outlet for my destructive energies. Turned something negative into a positive. Im 21 now, and I consider myself to be a well adjusted member of the world.

As for what you can do in your situation, the school sounds very wrong, indeed cult is the right word. If its military, then all its doing is giving him an outlet for his destructive energies and when he is mentally tired, implanting in him "good christian beliefs" as they see it. You probably will have to take it up in court, as it will most likely cause a huge problem trying to take him out, especially if he is in his fathers custody.

As unrealistic as it may seem, you should maybe discuss emancipation with your son, then he could just take himself out of school. It would be good if he has had prior work experience, that way the judge will lean towards him being able to live independantly.

As for his destructive energies, all he needs to do is find something he really enjoys and gets satisfaction from, and it'll work its way from there.
You know your son better than I do (which is not at all :p) so you'd probably know what he likes. Remjember, what he likes, not what you'd like him to like.

Good luck with your situation. Meditate and pray on it, your answers will come.

Love and Peace

please dont do anything that would have a negative impact.
can you write to him ?
a phone call is brief but a letter can be read many times. maybe send him a picture of yourself or the family in happier times. or even a video.
we all need to know and feel that we are loved and respected by those that we love and respect.
all the best...

every religion is a cult. people just stop calling a religion a cult when it goes mainstream.

I'd be worried if I we're you.... against women liberals?


Psh.....Sounds like a crock to me. I'd try and do something about that.

Originally posted by Key-Minder




Approximately a week ago, my son got pysically abusive with me, this isn't the first time. I had to call the police to diffuse the situation. He has been very hard to handle through out his life.

Well...stop right there. Here's my opinion, though you may not like it (that's ok).

I can tell you from years of experience and as a parent myself that this is the question you should be addressing NOT whether any educational approach will effect him in a culty way. A real cult maybe. A school - no way. Education of a 17 year old isn't going to have that much impact, they're mostly formed by then, educationally that is.

Once he was at his dad's home, he punched him in the eye and then his father called the police- this wasn't his first time either. His father had to have a titanium plate put in his eye - he hit him very hard. I haven't talked to my son since - trying to cool things off.

Yeah, violence towards parents is addictive, especially when they know that their parent's only response will be to try to appease them and call the cavalry when they get frightened.

I love my son!

Really? So

He has rebeled because his eyes are open and he has revealed all adults for the hypocrites they are, including myself- the previous All American Housewife- NOT!

What? Someone who beats on his mother and father knows S^!#?

Maybe you should ask the cops what he was like when they were alone with him?

Let me guess. He opened his mouth, like, twice?

Help me save him! But how?

Yes, indeed how? You can never change other people, you can only change yourself.

Not being in a perpetual state of apologizing and placating him and compensating him for WHAT YOU PERCEIVE as the damage done to him from your marriage breakup. When a marriage is over it's BETTER for the children that the parents divorce rather than living a lie.

He's using your readiness to buy in to a guilt trip as an excuse for violence towards you both, and recognizing this is the first step towards really saving him.






[edit on 13-1-2009 by undermind]

[edit on 13-1-2009 by undermind]

reply to post by Key-Minder


The school looks ok to me (at least on the surface). A little rigid maybe but it sounds like your son needs some discipline and his father's on the right track enrolling him there.

Churches, cults, and school cafeteria tables: - they are all potential breeding grounds for hatred, corruption, and lies. But IMO, they do (on occasion, through no direct action of their own) serve as places of catharsis. Where young men and women, explore their own faith, their own identity, and their own sense of self governing and emerge as a young adults. It would be a blessing if your son could go through this experience and learn that those walls can teach him something valuable. It doesn't have to be the rhetoric inside that influences him, but the fact that those walls continue to stand despite all of the absurd nonsense they absorb day in and day out. Those bricks in that building are not a cult - so too can your son find his true self alll while remaining silent and steadfast, learning the virtue of patience and quiet observation. One day, those walls will speak. And if there has been impropriety and injustice it will need a strong young man like your son to expose it. Let's pray he transfers the power of his fists into the might of his mind.

reply to post by Key-Minder


Wow, I am sorry to hear of your struggles.

Point 1. A 17 yr old boy does not spontaneously begin to "have problems." The problems he has have been there, obviously festering and growing for quite a while. Has he had any other therapy along the way? Anger management, counseling, family counseling? If not, WHY NOT? No one can tell me that you had no idea he was troubled until just a little while ago. If you didn't notice it - or his father didn't notice, then look in the mirror at your parenting skills and where they have been lacking. This should have been seen long ago and help gotten for him as soon as troubling signs appeared.

Point 2. Have you even thought about or attempted to call the school itself? Discuss with them your concerns and ask the questions you want to ask? If it is a custody issue, then call Daddy and have him give the okay. If the relationship is so strained that that isn't possible, then maybe the anger and behaviors your son has been displaying are his way to vent his frustration over his parents not acting like adults. Or at least not adults who SHOULD be able to BOTH look at what is best for their child over the past few years.

Point 3. Your son is 17. The longest that he can be "held" in any program is until his 18th birthday. He is on the threshold of being an adult. Isn't it a tad bit late for all the theatrical grandstanding by both you and your ex? Heck, for the cost of the school, your son could have been placed in a residential treatment facility that specializes in troubled teens - but then again, he would be able to walk out the door once he turned 18.

I know I sound harsh, and I do not apologize for that. As a parent, you should have done something much, much sooner than now to help your troubled child. Maybe you should be thankful a program has taken him in at all, and not look a gift horse too closely in the mouth.

Thank you to all who took the time to post.

My main objective was to establish whether or not this so called school is a cult, specifically a hard lined fundamentalist, far right, extremist christian type of cult. I am thinking it is and I see some agree that it is. I also see some posters seem to want to also discuss what justifies sending a kid to a hard lined fundamentalist christian cult, but I'm not really sure because it was not clearly established whether or not they thought the school was indeed a cult in the first place.

I don't see parental divorce and physical violence as a justification to send a teenager into a hard lined christian fundamentalist cult that preach their hate against, as well as divorce themselves of, Muslims, Buddhist, Mormans, Jehovah Witnesses, Christian Scientist, and any Bible version other than the KJV and who also believe in universal physical and emotional violence with their "literal, burning Hell that God prepared for the Devil and his angels, where they claim it is the place of everlasting, conscious punishment of the unbelieving lost," who also hate Communism and Socialism, which includes the people of Vietnam, China, Egypt and India, they hate Fascism, Atheism, which includes their fellow Americans, Liberalism, abortion, Euthanasia, Homosexuality, Women's Liberation, Evolution, Unisex philosophy/dress, Rock and Roll Music, Rap Music, Country Music, and Christian rock/contemporary music. They are opposed to and preach against percieved religious heresies such as Roman Catholic Doctrines which they think involve idolatry and salvation by works, they are opposed to and preach against the Charismatic movement, Arminianism, Hyper-Calvinism, New Evangelicalism, Neo-Orthodoxy and any New Age teaching.

I do not agree with this type of school because of their hate filled teachings that lays claim to knowing God. These people could be pedophiles or molding young men into christian suicide bombers against Muslims for all I know. I was never given the opportunity to evaluate this school before hand, it was only after my son was flown many, many states away from me was I notified, which was late last night. I'm sitting in his old room, on his computer shaking my head in disbelief looking over the school's website, over the choice of the school. There are other programs out there which wouldn't preach such intolerance of the world around them. It feels as if he has been kidnapped by a gang of haters.

Any organization that pushes a religion on anybody is very cult-ish IMO. Religion shouldn't be sold to you, it should find you. These people shouldn't be allowed to push their ideals on you just because they can open up a club. I believe in God too, but there is only so far you can take that belief before you start infringing on the freedom of other people, which if you think about it is contradictory to what religion is meant to be about. You know, love thy neighbor and all that.

[edit on 13-1-2009 by NoHopeForSome]