What happened to doing the right thing?

What is it in us that makes some of us honest and some of us not so honest? I wish that I understood. Yes I have a couple of reasons for asking.
First of all, a couple of days after Christmas my son, who is home from college for a couple of weeks, went to get his girlfriend and bring her home to meet his dad and I. She lives about 6 hours away 1 way. He was using his Christmas money to make this trip. He picked her up and about 2 hours into the trip home they stopped for a bathroom break and a beverage. They were nearly home and stopped for gas when my son realized that his wallet was gone. He called me crying. Not because his money was gone, but because I had given him my debit card in case of emergency. He was worried about my money.
Anyway, we tracked down online the number for the place that they had stopped and the cashier said yes they had had a wallet turned in but that there was no money in it. It was less than 200.00, but it was all he had. Wasn't there a time when in this same instance the wallet would have been returned contents intact?
Secondly, in my profession I handle varying sums of money daily. One day last week I had a drawer full of new money and inadvertently gave someone 100.00 too much back. We live in a small town and I knew there were only a few people that I had given a sum that would have included at least 1 100.00 dollar bill and I "know" them, so fearing for my job, I started calling people. No one would admit that it was them.
I realize this was my fault, but I could have lost my job. Why do people only care for themselves these days? What would you do, honestly, if you found a wallet or were given too much money back? Am I looking at this wrong? It truly baffles me.

Sounds like you've had some horrid luck lately! I'm not sure what it is that makes a person honest or dishonest, but I would imagine that upbringing has a lot to do with it. Parents are too worried about hurting their children's feelings and aren't worried enough about raising them to be decent human beings.

As for what I would do if I found a wallet or was given too much change, I've been in both situations before. It was a purse I found instead of a wallet, but I only opened it to find some I.D. and then stuck a note to it saying who it belonged to and locked it up till the owner came back to claim it. (I was working in a retail store at the time and a customer left it at the counter and I didn't notice till they were long gone.)

I've also had cashiers give me up to $20 too much change when the bills stuck together a bit and when they have simply miscounted and I tend to look at them with a confused look on my face and tell them they gave me too much back.

I once went to our local Dairy Queen years ago to pick up a few shakes for my mom and myself and they didn't ring up my order and I actually had to tell them that they never charged me for the shakes. The woman behind the counter looked like she might have a stroke when I pointed out that I hadn't been charged for them.

I've been blessed (or you could say cursed) with a very, very loud conscience. Darn thing won't let me get away with anything.

I don't think you are looking at it wrong. There are some truly dishonest people out there. Yeah, you should have double checked to make sure you didn't give out too much since you had new bills in your drawer, but that's not an excuse for the dishonesty of whoever received that extra $100.

Lack of humility in a lot of cases. People have forgotten how to empathize. Some of this is due to desensitization from the media, which is no doubt the goal of some less than honest people in power.

I can remember when I was a kid, we went to my great-grandma's house and I went in the kitchen and got a soda from the fridge, cause grannie always had grape nehi. Anyway, I didn't wait for grannie to say I could get one and mom made me apologize to grannie and ask could I have it. So as the first poster said, I think upbringing plays a big part.

Money is a pretty tricky thing to ask about... Especially these days.
If I were you I would be extremely glad that the wallet was returned at all, since identity theft is all too common.

Why do people do this?
Because they can get away with it. Whoever found your son's wallet didn't know your son. It was an impersonal, faceless crime.
The situation at your job was a little different, but a person would feel better knowing the crime will likely be deflected to another person who saw you that day.

To be completely honest with you, if a cashier gave me an extra $20 in change I likely would not return it unless I actually knew that person well.
I spent years working in retail, and had actually let customers get away with not paying for purchases at all. Never once did anyone come back, and I hadn't expected them to anyway.

Now if money wasn't involved at all, and "doing the right thing" meant defending someone who needed it, reporting on an accident or general crime, or just helping out a fellow human in need, I think most people would surprise you.
Throw greed into the equation and everything changes.

I work at a restaurant, and there have been numerous times I've found money at work and turned it in. I would never dream of keeping it. My husband found a wallet at in a hospital waiting room recently, and he and I turned it in. I know that many people have told me if they had been the ones to find money, they would have kept it.

Now I have kept money that I've found on a street because there's no way for me to know who it belongs to.

What makes people different? I'm not sure. I was taught right from wrong, and my conscience would bother me if I didn't do the right thing. I also believe what goes around comes around.

Wow, first off I am sorry for your run of bad luck. Its important to remember most people in todays society, only care about themselves (Now there are a few that put others first). Hey if you make a mistake thats on you not on me, its not cool, but thats how people are. Like the video where the guys gets hit by the car and NO ONE does anything to help him, he just lays there in the road dieing, or when the lady in the Emergency room falls over on the ground, no one comes to help her (the awful thing was she was waiting for 14 hours I believe.

Woman Dies in Emergency Room

Man hit by car, no one helps

What would you do?

I mean, people need to have empathy or compassion for there fellow man. This is the reason why we will never be a united world or united country, people just do not care about people. I really liked when this woman was getting beat up in public by her boyfriend and someone tried to help her, if I remember right she stabbed the good samaritan. Its awful you try to help and you get hurt, you try to help and you get sued, you try to help and everyone looks at you like your the hiderence.

Woman sues Samaritan

Hope the videos help and shed some light on what the world needs and what we as a people need to do to fix the problems.

[edit on -06002009-01-03T11:44:52-06:00312009bAmerica/ChicagoSat, 03 Jan 2009 11:44:52 -0600, 1 by TheMythLives]

Originally posted by Greenize
What is it in us that makes some of us honest and some of us not so honest? I wish that I understood. Yes I have a couple of reasons for asking.

Its simple. People do what pays off for them. Some people like to return money because it makes them feel like they are good persons and they need to feel that way about themselfs. Some other people would not return it because they dont need that feeling of feeling like a good person. Or they might consider themselfs as good persons for making the most of the situation, and getting the payoff that way.

The simple fact is that without society protecting us all, the wolfs would survive, not the sheeps, no matter what Hollywood movies portrays into our heads about heroism.

That being said, we DO live in a society and there is really no excuse for being a jackass when you dont need to.

Its the same with lack of empathy. Its easier to not feel empathy when there is much pain around you, so people gradually learn how to become more uncaring so they dont have to feel the pain. We do what pays off.

Originally posted by cornblossom
I also believe what goes around comes around.

Oh, and this is another reason why some people try to do good. They believe there is some kind of higher justice or meaning, that their actions matter. So they try to do good since they believe there will be a a positive payoff for it later.



[edit on 3-1-2009 by Copernicus]

I don't know what it is.
I don't think its solely learned behavior.
I think its just in you.
Perhaps good and bad is in all of us, and our surroundings and upbringings bring out either one more.
Or other forces.

Originally posted by TheMythLives

if I remember right she stabbed the good samaritan.

This is another shining example of why people are not so inclined to help. It could end up costing them.

Woman Sued For Helping Accident Victim

Hi Greenize, thank you for creating a discussion on this important topic.

Originally posted by Greenize
What is it in us that makes some of us honest and some of us not so honest? I wish that I understood.

Are you suuurrree you want to understand? I ask because it's a bit dishearting, the truth of the matter. My spouse wrestles with the same issue, especially with rude drivers. The problem I think is here:

Faith in Humanity

Spouse - Believes that people are good-natured, well-intentioned, considerate and willingly obedient to the law.

Can I tell you how many times daily my spouse is disappointed?

Me - I consider everyone to be in a rush, playing with the radio, checking their teeth/hair, or gabbing with their buddy in the passenger seat while looking for the nearest fast food place. I'm never disappointed, but I am pleasantly surprised when people use their turn-signal, wave as they come over, or let me in front of them. "Wow, that was very kind of them" ^_^.

Faith is a good thing, but putting it in mankind's hands instead of God can certainly lead to frequent disappointment.

Originally posted by Greenize
Wasn't there a time when in this same instance the wallet would have been returned contents intact?

According to my spouse, "Ten years ago that would've never happened!" To that I say, "Oh really?" Do people really change over time? Well, we can probably do a study and find they change over situations. In a classroom of ten kids that have been together for years as a class, is one person going to get away with throwing a spitball? Likely not, the teacher knows their character and who is the class clown. In a classroom of thirty kids that shuffle every year, is one person going to get away with throwing a spitball? Probably. Nobody is going to 'rat out' someone they don't know else they'll be separated out from their society as either a teacher's pet or get beat up by that kid after school. The teacher does not know the characters of the children very well.

"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." - Ecclesiastes 1:9

Originally posted by Greenize
Why do people only care for themselves these days?

It is the way it is, was, and will be for most people.

Originally posted by Greenize
What would you do, honestly, if you found a wallet or were given too much money back?

At what age? When I was a child, I may have kept the money. Now I would give it back. Sometimes it's not so much age but maturity and/or desperateness of one's situation. Who is more likely to steal a loaf of bread, a fully employed construction worker with a working wife and no kids or one who lost his job three months ago with a spouse in the hospital left with three kids?

Originally posted by Greenize
Am I looking at this wrong? It truly baffles me.

As it seems to me, for you the truth is static, unchanging and I totally agree. Many people do not feel this way however, they see 'what is right' as a decision they're allowed to make. A person who makes themselves the judge of right and wrong can never possibly be 'wrong' because they're doing what's best for them in their eyes. Subjective morality is a big problem, a danger to individuals and a society. This does not mean we should be merciless to those individuals. Someone who volunteers at a soup kitchen may see a man look around and snatch an extra roll, then stuff it in his jacket pocket. Can you really call him out and make him give back the roll? The man just wants something to eat. Maybe his 2 year old NEEDS something to eat and this is his only way of getting it for her.

"If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back." - Luke 6:29

If you find a way to do this perfectly, please let me know and I'll do my best to learn how. Although you cannot see the person who took the money, they must've needed it badly enough to knowingly do something wrong to get it. Pray for them that they will no longer have the need to do so, so that they may learn how to give to others before they ask. Store your treasures in heaven, so that when you get there you've left nothing behind.

[edit on 6-1-2009 by saint4God]

Originally posted by ZiggyZero
This is another shining example of why people are not so inclined to help. It could end up costing them.

Woman Sued For Helping Accident Victim

It always amazes me that a book written two thousand years ago addresses today's problems:

"And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well." - Matthew 5:40

It has much, much more to say too on many different topics.

Here in the US they are doing a reality show on TV about this subject. It was my idea a few years ago and I think it may cause people to examine their morality.
This site inspired me:
www.wallettest.com/

I give it all back, my reward is in the afterlife.

You're assuming who ever took the money from your son's wallet needed it less than he did. Why do you automatically believe that anyone who steals from you is of low character?

My opinion is it has nothing to do with whether or not you believe in God or have faith. Over the years, I have found several items ( wallet, purse, drivers license, a credit card, etc) and I always make sure to get the items back to the owner. I've pointed out mistakes made by cashiers and bank tellers that were made in my favor. I didn't have to, it's just the kind of person I am. I am honest to the core.

Also, you have to be careful about turning in wallets, etc. If there is a person's name in the wallet/purse, I will more than likely track them down instead of turning it in to a business where it was found. The person you turn it in to can keep it, instead of doing the right thing. I had that done to me before and I lost my wallet.

It's amazing to me that people can show such disregard for others. Aren't we all taught morals when we are children?

Originally posted by Clark W. Griswold
It's amazing to me that people can show such disregard for others. Aren't we all taught morals when we are children?

The simple answer is "no" because you used the word 'all' here. More complex of an issue is those who were taught as children right and wrong, then go out into the world and conveniently forget.

[edit on 6-1-2009 by saint4God]