Dysthemia, PAD with Agoraphobia here...
on meds: out of bed everyday. Can enjoy even the worst of days. Still have nagging endless "blah" in the background but it can more easily be
suppressed if not entirely forgotten.
Anxiety under control through therapy and meds. Diligence is required to stay on top of things though
Off meds: within a week I am living in my jammies again. Not bothering to get out of bed. not eating, sleeping WAYYY too much and generally not able
to enjoy even the best of days. Even with therapy the meds really help.
It was weird when I first started taking them (Paxil) I didn't feel anything different really. I expected to feel dozey or sluggish...not at all. I
went off them thinking that I didn't need them (cuz I didn't feel them working).
Within a week...the old pattern started again. back on the meds and it all evened out PDQ.
Took going off twice to get it into my thick skull that it WAS helping and the fact that I didn't "feel" anything was simply my metabolism and the
nature of the drug. It was hard to cope with the knowing that I needed the Paxil and likely will for the rest of my life.
Now I am on the lowest dose possible and though I have had bouts of depression I'd classify them as blissfully "normal"...situation related and not
the overwhelming "dread of waking up everyday to the sad realization that I am still me". LOL
I can laugh about it now but it was terrible. Self loathing is a very common effect of many mental illnesses and people with depression are highly
susceptible.
I take the 10mg daily without fail. During Xmas though with stress being higher than usual I bumped up to 20mg for most of december, Coming back to
10mg now that christmas is done for another year.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - it takes a hell of a strong individual to accept when they cannot cope, and a stronger person still to
seek help.
We are strong people...being on meds doesn't make us weak as many might feel or try to suggest.
Without meds I am virtually useless to anyone who needs me including myself.
In retrospect I wish to hell I hadn't waited and ignored the signs until I was 30...I missed out on a lot being ill and being unaware and/or in
denial.
For the first time in my life (since I was five) I am actually happy.
I don't think meds are for everyone...therapy can help most people, and if a Doc thinks meds can assist in recovery and treatment then I would try
it.
I did cognitive therapy (I got 6 mos from a 3 month program cuz I was a royal mess) and it changed my life...sounds totally corny...but it really
did.
I feel sorry for anyone too ashamed to admit problems coping but sympathies only last so long with me. I have a daughter who was RX bi-polar and
refuses to even entertain the idea...I watch her crash and burn and it infuriates me that she is so determined to continue whining and feeling
suicidal when there is HELP for her and it has been offered numerous times.
You can't help those who will not help themselves I guess.
I hope she figures it out before she winds up 30+ and still struggling like I was.
sorry to ramble...a bit passionate on the subject