Premarital abstinence vows ineffective, study says

Premarital abstinence vows ineffective, study says

www.sfgate.com

Teen-agers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not promise abstinence and are significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do, according to a study being released Monday.

(visit the link for the full news article)

This study pretty much confirms my own experience working with teenagers and young adults. . . .

Often young women who take abstinence vows are unprepared when the inevitable temptation occurs. They believe that only immoral women would actually take thought beforehand and their lack of birth control is a sign of their innocence. Unfortunately, a lot of young men echo this view and are not prepared either.

I'm not surprised that their rate of pregnancy is greater.

www.sfgate.com
(visit the link for the full news article)

reply to post by Sestias


Perhaps it is the skewed belief that birth control is "sinful" or even a form of murder that leads to higher pregancy rates. These kids may think using birth control is less morally acceptable than having sex without birth control and bringing a child into the world they are incapable of raising.

Originally posted by Sestias
Often young women who take abstinence vows are unprepared when the inevitable temptation occurs. They believe that only immoral women would actually take thought beforehand and their lack of birth control is a sign of their innocence. Unfortunately, a lot of young men echo this view and are not prepared either.

Yeah, very true. And they don't just do it "once". After the first time they often feel guilty and think never again, until the second time rolls around (and they still didn't have condoms).

I'm just surprised that we needed a study to tell us this.

This is not a one-line post any longer.

reply to post by Sonya610


Is it possible that these kids are partially in denial and that at some level they think they are not really having sex?

After all, if pre-marital sex is something that is "dirty" that only "sinners" do, then these kids are "dirty sinners" if they had pre-marital sex. In order not become "dirty sinners" these kids have to enter into a form of denial and somehow pretend that what they did or what they were doing was not really sex. In turn, if they are not really having sex, there is no way they can get pregnant or pass on STD's. (Afterall, these kids are good church-going types and only "dirty sinners" get pregnant or get STD's.)

reply to post by hotpinkurinalmint


Well, there is a thread in RATS talking about how these marraige-vow kids are more likely to have anal sex. They are probably much more likely to have oral sex too.

reply to post by paperplanes


Unfortunately in the USA (and perhaps other parts of the world) religious fundamentalists think abstinence only sex education curriculums are better than teaching kids about birth control. It is good to have hard data handy to debunk the fundamentalists' claims.

I hope this gets a lot of press. It is hard to fight cold, hard facts with moral idealism.

The thing that I think really makes marraige vows reprehensible, though, is that they teach the person--especially the girls--that their body belongs to someone else. While there are many valid reasons to be abstinant, the motivation should not be made because someone feels that they have to give their body to someone else.

You know those born agains are at it like rabbits when the spirit takes over and the clothed friction doesn't work any more.

Originally posted by asmeone2

The thing that I think really makes marraige vows reprehensible, though, is that they teach the person--especially the girls--that their body belongs to someone else. While there are many valid reasons to be abstinant, the motivation should not be made because someone feels that they have to give their body to someone else.

That's the idea of being pure before marriage. The spouse, usually the husband, gets an "undamaged" body, not used by anybody else. I believe the Bible says that the bodies of both are to belong to the other, but the verse most often quoted is the one that starts, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands..." I think it means in more ways than physical submission but the message is there. Your body is not your own, you have no choice. Of course, those verses pertain to marriages over a thousand years ago, but they're supposed to be written in stone, for all times.

Feminism still has a long way to go. We're not "post feminist" yet.

It was effective for me and my wife. I met her when I was 18, dated her for 3 years, and saved all my money. Married her when I was 21.
The first time I had sex with anyone was with her on our wedding night.....same holds true for her. as least that's what she has been telling me all these years

25 years and 4 kids later we are still as happy as clams.

I can confidently tell my kids that abstinence is the best policy.


I got bold and kissed her after we were engaged though. But no further....who says self control is impossible?


[edit on 29-12-2008 by Sparky63]

reply to post by Sestias


I hope you understand what an oppressive message it is to tell young people that they do not, in fact own their own body?

Wow, I could have told them that in high school! Did people really think those vows did any good?

reply to post by asmeone2


Absolutely, it is oppressive. I thought that was clear in my post. If not, here it is.

I am fairly sure they make up these premarital no sex things, just to mess with peoples heads and break them down.
So they can be controlled easier.
Its just like the beginning methods of control.
If you can control someone in that personal level, what cant you control them in.

Originally posted by Sestias
reply to post by asmeone2

 

Absolutely, it is oppressive. I thought that was clear in my post. If not, here it is.

My msitake, it came across to me like you were explaining and advotating the idea.

I read something about this on Fark.
Just about bust a gut when it posted something about kids finally realizing after making the vow and breaking it *crossing their fingers doesn't count*...

Kids will do what kids have done since time begun.

If people would take their heads outta their bu..books they might find having free condoms available at the nurses stations in school is better than none at all.




*P*E*A*C*E*

The fact that people still believe that these stupid vows actually do anyhting proves how naive the world is. For some people, abstinence works, but not as birth control, rather because they really don't want to have sex before marriage for whatever reason. Thinking it works for everyone is like thinking that one size fits all. ne size is sometimes a little big, sometimes a little tight, and sometimes it sorta fits comfortably. It never actually fits tho, and most people don't understand that.

All I can say is 'Duh!" :shk:

I love these "moral contracts" people dream up. Far better to educate your kids to make smart choices than some meaningless pledge. And yes they may have sex but at least you armed them with the knowledge they need to protect themselves