Being alone in a time of crisis

I moved to Kentucky from Texas a few years ago so that I could care for my elderly mother. Now that Mom is gone I find myself alone in very uncertain times. What is a person to do that hasn't developed a support system, no close family or friends? I have tried to prepare, physically, for any bad times ahead. It's just a terrible feeling thinking I may have to go through a crisis alone. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Originally posted by Shystargazer

I moved to Kentucky from Texas a few years ago so that I could care for my elderly mother. Now that Mom is gone I find myself alone in very uncertain times. What is a person to do that hasn't developed a support system, no close family or friends? I have tried to prepare, physically, for any bad times ahead. It's just a terrible feeling thinking I may have to go through a crisis alone. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

We are born alone and die alone, but in between its good and right to try not to be alone, I would suggest you develop survival skills and plans and when the world turns bad there will be plenty of people who will turn to you. You can steal a march by joining something like the ARC or your local Shefiffs emergency volunteer program and becoming part of an emergency response group and build up friends and contacts that way
Salutations.
NR

Be glad you're alone, really, one mouth to feed, no one else that is relying on you. If you make a mistake only you will pay the consequences, and if you succeed you alone will reap the rewards. You can adapt much quicker,move much lighter alone, look at it as a blessing. Good Luck!

Thank you for that wonderful advice! You may have just saved my life!

People generally confuse me and so I am going to ask this question.

It's just a terrible feeling thinking I may have to go through a crisis alone.

If thinking about something that may not happen makes you feel bad,
why are you thinking about it?

reply to post by Shystargazer

If you feel that you need a support group you might join a church. I think that you would meet people that would help you in bad times. I am not much of joiner so my approach is to get to know the country, find out what I can do and what I need to work on. Texas is a big state and where you are will drive what you need and if you stay put or head for the hills.

My parents live in Texas and there are a lot of resources, game, water, fuel ect. that can be had if living off the land. Go camping and find out what you need to work on. Good Luck.

I can relate somewhat in that my life turned upside down a couple years ago with the end of a decade long relationship, which resulted in the loss of a lot of my friends - people drift away. Anyway, I got involved with a couple of groups - a book reading group - stuff like that. You have to make yourself get out and meet people and build your own community. It is hard to do, believe me, I know. I am sure it is harder to do while dealing with the loss of your mom, and the recovery of being a caretaker by yourself. Just make yourself get out there and get involved in some groups. I liked the idea posted above about volunteering, that's a great suggestion. Best of luck to you! You will be okay - just think: you have already done the hardest thing. Now go take care of yourself.

If you are alone, it is because you have chosen to be alone.

There are lots of ways to develop support systems. Churches, social organizations, through schools, etc.

You can always find an excuse not to get involved with others. That's YOUR choice.

reply to post by Tadarida


I find it best to find friends 'while in a time of crisis'. I'm sure half of Orleans got to know each other that way.

Other than that there are always open mic nights-poetry fests, ect. I've been thinking of it myself, but I rather feel insufficient around others. Also too, with 'friends' comes their problems. Sometimes, if you are doing alright alone, it is ok to be alone, when viewed in that context.

Too, maybe you could get a dog to at least run you around the block and keep you safe? And I hear that Texas is the bad arse state, so in a time of crisis, I imagine, you will all be ok.

God with you.
Best Regards

Hmmm.... Matchmaker.com!

Not sure if you mean alone as no partner but survival does not make a good conversation with most women. Trying to find a group.. even harder. I pretty much go it alone because I do not trust people in general. I have very few close friends from the military or high school that I keep in contact with and were all spread out all over the country.

Now I interface with people at work but that is more of a "work buddy" at work only kind of thing.

Church, support groups (for whatever... AA, single parents, etc) may fit the bill to just meet people.

reply to post by Shystargazer


Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

Prepare to be alone (my worst case sinario as well due to the fact that I will have lost both children and a wonderful women) but hope that by being prepared, that you can make the best case sinario happen.

Good luck to you! I know us ATSers have given you a lot to think about!

If you have just lost your mom, I would say that you have just gone through a crisis alone.

There are alot of good ideas in the posts so far, chuches, volunteering, social clubs. Not sure if I would want to be part of AA in a time of peril however.

If you are preparing for some unforseen disaster down the road, you are doing the right thing seeking out friends, its always easier to go through difficult times with others who support you. Just be careful in your endevor. If you are simply looking for people, thats what you'll wind up with. Look for those like you, who have similar morals and values, those will be the people who stand beside you when it rains as well as when it shines.

Best of luck to you in your prepardness planning as well as recreating your social network.

The first place I'd go would be church. My thinking is that many church goers are very friendly and will approach you when they see you are alone. Maybe the local church will be having a social event of some sort.

If that's not your cup of tea, look up the charity and social organizations in the area. Check out the Moose or Elks Lodge. There are many people out there that you would be comfortable with.

By all means don't sit in the house waiting for something to happen. Even if you do have to go through a major crisis without any help, the only thing sitting around worrying about it will do is stress you out.

Prepare for the worse and hope for the best.