Having a baby; biological drive or spiritual contract?

Is it possible we could get a gender check with replies in this post. I have a feeling that the answers to this thread may have a lot to do with ones gender.

I'm male.

I think reproduction is biological or brought on by societal pressures.

reply to post by azurecara


In my humble opinion to me is a spiritual contract but that is because I am a believer of reincarnation.

reply to post by azurecara


Okay, going out on a limb but since there are mostly ladies on this post.

There have been (a very few) guys that I had sex with, and then there was someone who I had a different feeling with altogether. I was less inclined to want to be careful, I wanted to actually have hischildren as opposed to just wanting children.

I always kinda just chalked it up to him smelling right.

EDIT: I do wonder if with this person it is "spiritual" or if it is "biological" because the first thing I did was smell him and he just smelled righter than anyone else, and yet...with him things are of a different nature across the board. Everything is more "right" with him.

[edit on 1-12-2008 by Rintendo]

reply to post by liquidsmoke206


It could be that the topic is not as appealling to the male gender. Just a thought.

I am curious about both gender's take on this question though and encourage everyone to have their say, or share their experience.

hy :-)

I have a child (a boy) and wow..i am a woman
so i can tell you how it is to get one...

it was the spiritual but not in the way you will maybe think. It was Nature, reality natural. I got kicked up into another world and felt that my body is nothing.
A man can never imagine how a birth is. (i guess so)

and why are there so many woman with one child? cause they live better alone with their child, love it and hold to it, as to have stupid men..
or
woman like children..like to get them (and dont feel the inspiration of a birth), forget the hurts.. and get more and more children

also
there are people who only get children for the money from the state .

I?
I love my son, watch over him, help him to grown up.. and hope that the things will be good..

Nia Wind

reply to post by azurecara


I think its an interesting topic for both genders. I'm not saying that someone shouldn't contribute either. I just would like to note the differences in responses from males and females.

I'd also like to note the post by RINTENDO who claims that everything about a certain guy "felt right" based on his smell. This is scary, if I met a woman like this I'd run the other way soooo fast. I'm not about to be locked into 18 years of child support and relationship prison simply because I smell good. Watch out guys, women have a NEED for children. It's so strong they would mistakenly call it spiritual. It clearly has to do with biology, and a woman's own vision of what the ideal mate should be. This what I mean by reproduction being selfish. A woman will alter a guys life forever, just so they can have a baby to satisfy their biological urges or vision of an ideal lifestyle.

It's as dangerous as the american dream.

Props to the OP. Very nice topic.

Im currently dealing with a custody battle over my year and a half old son. His mother and I met about a week and a half before he was concieved. It is my belief that she took the biological choice approach to the situation. She wanted a child for all the wrong reasons. She figured i had money, intellegence, looks (im not humbling myself, this has been told to me). During the whole process i have been extremly spiritual awoken. I have learned alot about myself and how others sometimes use superficial factors in deterrmine a mate (and LOTS of other things) and why that is wrong. And yes liquidsmoke- that is worse than the American Dream. And what is even more sad is, i believe, having a child for those reasons is what most people who strive for the American Dream perpetuate. Rasing a child is a beautiful thing. I look back on my path that lead me to my child and i believe that without that occurance i would be in a terrible place. I wasnt the most moraly dignified individual, but since learning about his place in my life the "ritcheous path" has vividly shown itself to me time and time again. I feel empty when my son is not with me and i believe i feel that way for a reason. I would not be the way i am today if it wasnt for him and for that i REALIZE i am extremly lucky. I also think it takes a special kind of person though to see having a child as a fulfilling a Spiritual contract.

reply to post by eyeforalie


Firstly, thank you all for sharing your experiences and impressions on this topic. All are welcome, and encouraged to share on any topic thread I begin. However I know how hard it is to take a risk to share something personal in a public place, so I thank you for your bravery in freely expressing your opinions.

In response to your post eyeforalie, it makes me think of an interesting take on the spiritual contract angle. Perhaps it is more likely that a father - genetic or adoptive - only (or in most situations) bonds spiritually and/or emotionally with a child post-birth. If this is true, than it would lead me to believe that becoming a parent would more likely be a spiritual type of experience for a father only after birth, whereas a mother (again genetic or other) could perhaps bond with more of the idea of a child.

Even if you only consider a bonding to occur with a child to be a purely emotionaly basis and not a spiritual one, I would be suggesting that same idea. Not to catagorise either males or females in too gross a generalisation, but more the majority of the different genders.

Could an emotional bonding then be termed as either a physical biological knee-jerk response to your offspring. Kind of a chemical insurance policy that you would appropriately care for and protect your child. Although this could be a 50/50 (a guesstimated ratio), as to whether it suceeds with examples of child abuse at play in the world.

OR

As a spiritual meeting between two souls to share the experience of a physical life together. A mutual agreement between two souls who have agreed on a harmonious life beginning with each other, or perhaps acrimonious working off of a 'soul-debt' together.

reply to post by liquidsmoke206


LOL. Very scary indeed. However, I was talking about feelings, not action. Children are not just a big responsibility for the man. You guys get off light. We have to go through nine months of physical changes, the labor of having a child, and then, in 99% of the cases, we know we have them for the rest of our lives. Men don't always know that. In fact, while men are called upon to provide financial resources they aren't always called upon to "be there".

I have friends who had children and then they were the only ones there when the child had a fever in the middle of the night, the one for parent teacher conferences, etc.

I was talking about an urge, not what I intended to do about it.

Kids to me are not pets (yes, I understand that pets are great). There is a Polish saying that goes: the day your child is born is the day you die. I believe that. Our needs from that point on need to come second. Until you are prepared to give up all levels of selfishness you should not bring a child into this world. In my opinion. No judgments to people that disagree.

reply to post by Rintendo


Perhaps this is why some Men find it more difficult to bond to a child pre-birth. A woman's body does change, and in doing so makes the idea of the child much more real.

Its true.. when i got my son (the birth was also a death for me)9 and the first time he was a baby, i had many high spiritual moments. After i realized what it mean: to get a baby (also the 9 month before) i got stronger and stronger. I was young (19years) so all my friends went out to parties or work or study. and i sat at home and learned. *lol* stuff like mythical things, spiritual things or shaman-things.
you know.. i had the time (cause everybody who have children know that they had to go bed not sooo late :lol.. therefore i am a "nighthuman".. means: i work, live and be awake in the night, so...i had time..cause i didnt leave my son (of course)
and
the angels talked to me. my brain, my heart and my soul grew up faster and faster.
To get a baby is the remembering that we can speak with god. or whatever we want to.
and men?
if they are not scared like hell.. they can see the miracle of life. see, feel and be...

also, what i learned now, since 8 years: my son grow up faster as i can look. knows sometimes now more as i know
and the love is strong like the first moment i saw him.
natural love from a mother to her baby


Nia Wind

I've always believed that children were a more spiritual thing. I had two visions of children - and then had two children.

The first was of my son. And the second of my daughter. I believed I knew the gender of each child I would have before I conceived, and turned out to be correct in both circumstances.

I was hoping there might be a similar experience out there.

Now I realise you can believe it was a 50/50 chance I would be right and therefore no proof positive. I don't believe there is any known way to prove a feeling however.

Back to you, ATS.

Originally posted by Merigold
I've always been comfortable with the idea of not having children.


All of a sudden my body has different ideas. I definitley think it is biological. Even though I say to my self I don't want children there is something in me that yearns physically to become pregnant. I can't explain it, it is the strangest thing.

My partner is much younger then I am and his attitude is pretty non chalant about it, if it happens it happens. But I've been finding myself obsessed with the idea of having his baby. Yet, I don't want to give up my lifestyle which would have to change drastically should I become pregnant. It's confusing, but I really can't help it.

I'm 35 now and the drive is at maxium level, perhaps because my body knows that the clock is counting down. It hasn't happened yet despite all our efforts *winks* but I think it will soon, at least I hope so as I can't take this roller coaster of conflicitng emotions much longer!

And if it does happen I suspect all my doubts will be soothed by hormones, if it doesn't I guess with time whatever is going on with my body will play out until menapause.

You actually think the conflicting emotions will be OVER when you get pregnant??? You ain't seen nothing yet, my dear. You will be a WHIRLPOOL of conflicting, roller coaster-like emotions. Then you think, "Once I've given birth, this roller coaster ride will finally be over." But no one prepares you for the ride AFTER delivery... e.g., guilt being one of your new, perpetual companions. But it's all good, really... those little nippers give sooo much back. If you think now your partner is the love of your life, you don't know what you're talking about, trust me. Loving a child is a love that is so deep, it breaks you wide open and makes you more tender and vulnerable than anything you've ever experienced.

To the OP: In my early twenties, I couldn't stand kids... too noisy and annoying. In my late twenties, I kinda liked certain, nice kids, but still didn't want any myself, ever. In my early thirties, my biological clock started tick-tocking with a vengeance. I began to feel that there was a sweet little spirit out there waiting for me to be his/her mommy. When I finally met the right guy, I called in that spirit and told it I was ready. Only a few months later, I "accidentally" got pregnant (well, we didn't try extremely hard to protect ourselves :@@... and from the very beginning, I've always had this incredible soul connection with my son, who is one of the gentlest, sweetest little souls I've ever met. At times we've had amazing incidents of telepathy; he's my little sunshine and I barely remember what it was like to live without him.

sometimes i think its what is expected of us, like little girls always have a doll sort of thing.

me personally i always had toys cars hated dolls.

ive never wanted children and i dont think i ever will, but my family are huge baby makers my one couin has five herself and the rest of my family have at least two children each, ive always been outcast because i dont want them they cant understand i dont want them.

i have had dreams though usually ive got a new born son so not sure what thats about perhaps it my hormones trying to convince me but its just not for me.

dont get me wrong i think if you want kids go for it, i have a friend who knew at 17 she wanted children with her boyfriend and everyone called them mad but they recently had their third and got married last year and are still going strong and a wonderful family and shes 23 and hes 25 now.

i do think it might be destiny and what your put on this earth for plays a part, im just never meant to be a mother its just not what im here for.

Interesting topic.

I'm female. I think it's a different "drive" for different people. Biological, spiritual or societal. I'm fairly certain my sister's boy had something to do with a spiritual contract. Her story:

She had an abortion at a young age. Years later, she married and had a baby. When he was about 2 1/2 years old, she had some feelings of guilt and remorse about having the abortion. Her little boy walked in on her one day while she was crying and asked her what was wrong. Since being totally honest with him was a high priority with her, she explained, in the best way she could what she was crying about. He turned up to her and said, "Mom. Don't cry. That was me. I came back."

A couple years ago, my nephew, Zachary, died at 29 years old. The contract was apparently short-lived.

With me, I think it was a combination of biological, spiritual and societal. I had ALWAYS wanted a baby from deep within my core! I tried SO hard to get pregnant, but never did. My doctor said it wasn't going to happen. When I met my (now) husband, within 4 months, I was pregnant. It turned out to be ectopic and since it threatened my life, I had to have it removed. But the experience brought us together like nothing else could. It solidified our relationship.

After that, I had to get my tubes tied to make sure I wouldn't get pregnant again because it was dangerous to me. Since then, though, I have lost all desire to have a child. I don't even really like kids very much at all. Which is really strange. I know I would have loved my own child, but especially with the troubles in the world now, I'm really glad we don't have kids.

Having a baby is most definitely a biological drive. I have met many women in my life who need to get pregnant as though it was their destiny. A very strange perspective on life if you ask me, but they have no choice in the matter. They were simply born biologically driven to reproduce. No further explanation available.

I've got one daughter. I only wanted one, and still don't want to have more, even after I got her.

I feel my husband and i were waiting the 14 years of our relationship for her to show up. Now that she's here, we're a Family. We have not intention of having another child.

Some people need more of their soul families here with them, some people sign up for having large families here on Earth, some have small families, some have no children and stay single their whole lives. It depends on what you're meant to do here on this planet.

If you're meant to be a fireman and stay single for your life, helping others the whole time, that's cool.

If you're meant to be a subserviant housewife with 15 children, that's cool too.

As long as you're a decent person, and care for those around you, help out where you can, and be kind to the planet, that's all that matters as far as I can see it.