Having a baby; biological drive or spiritual contract?

I have seen women have 1 unplanned child, and be contented with 1. Happy to have their child, they raise it and continue on their merry ways.
I have seen women have 4 children and yearn for more, never seemingly satisfied, always feeling they have another child (metaphorically) within them to have.

Now the question I ask is, is this a biological pre-determined drive to procreate... to carry on the species? Some women appearing to have a stronger drive than others. Some women enjoying the experience or looking forward to it, while others dread it or are ambivalent to it - so in a mental sense, natural selection at work once again.

Or could it be a pre-determined destiny to have a certain number of children? Or could it be that we are enacting a plan our souls have already decided upon for our journey - kind of like marking your route on a map before you get in the car - and we have an agreement with certain other souls to come through as our children?

Have you ever experienced a 'knowing' that a baby was imminent, although your or your partner was not pregnant? Have you ever had a dream or vision where you 'met' your future child, before they were born?

Thoughts?

reply to post by azurecara


I will try to find the research study for you, but actually your attraction to your mate has a great deal to do with your body's defenses to their sperm.

Have you ever heard a female, jokingly or otherwise, say I would love to have his babies? There is a biological urge that exists in the first four years of a relationship to want to produce offspring. What we think is a desire for "sex" is this urge to mate with a particular individual.

Am I misunderstanding your question?

It's probably biological. Most women, and many men seem to at least at some time in their lives have a strong desire for offspring.

Personally I think the idea of having children is completely irresponsible and selfish for most people. The fact that people would ruin their lives, by having kids simply because they haven't the imagination to do anything else points to it being a biological function. Why else would someone do something that has so many adverse effects.

Virtually every problem that humans face can be rooted in overpopulation.

Do the right thing, fight your biological urges, do not have kids!

reply to post by azurecara


Interesting questions you raise there.

I think there are lots of reasons why people hae children.

Many have a desire to pass on their DNA, although they aren't that clinical about it when they describe their reasons.

I think for those in a bad relationship, the women feel that they can bring l ove into the situation if they have a baby. (not true.)

There are also a small segment of people who have children for physical advantage--think anchor babies.

In the thirt world, I think there are a lot of women who feel that they have to have sex with their husbands, or are sadly forced into sex trades to survive, and don't have the access to birth c ontrol that they should. Thus they end up with many childre.

THe saddest case I have seen, personally, was a lady who had a baby out of wedlock when she was in college but believed it was "God's Will" for her to give the baby up for adoption. Shortly therafter she married another man and had 7 more kids, whom she basically ignored most of the time... some of our converstations really lead me to beleive that she kept popping them out, hoping she would recreat the adopted baby, but lost interest once she realized she had a different person.

I dont usually reply to many threads, but in answer to the question...I do believe it is a spiritual contract so to speak...I had several children, mostly all grown now...I went to a spiritual medium 8 years ago,he said no more no more I have all who I was meant to have and there was no others in the spirit world that saw me as their mother...or words to that effect...he also said how many I had exactly and how many of each sex...he got so many things correct...and I always felt I was to have as many children as I had...and the cincher to this was...I had already had my *tubes tied* so there was no chance of any more children before I went to see him. He didnt know me, he also said I had one in spirit...I did have a misscarriage at 3 months along the way...so he was absolutly correct.

reply to post by Rintendo


In a way you have answered it. I do believe that there are biological factors at play when we are choosing our mate.

Your opinion would strike me as a pure biological imperative reply. Thanks for your opinion.

reply to post by Kerrylee


Thanks for your reply Kerrylee. When you were planning your children, did you have a number in your head, as an idea, of how many you wanted to have? Did you feel "finished" with the last child you had?

I have heard many spiritual people talk about the number of babies women would have, and their gender. They talk as though the unborn, and uncreated, children are waiting their time to come through. Which would point to a pre-destined number of children you were 'meant' to have - rather than random impregnation by two animals.

This is it in a nutshell. Do you think we were meant to have a certain number of children, at a certain 'time'... or are we just creatures who in the western world, can control where, when and with who, we become pregnant to - or impregnate.

Well I think people choose to incarnate, though they may have a choice between several situations, and therefore, everyone would know before hand what they have chosen as well. So, things may happen out of biology, and even our environmental conditioning greatly influences our choices, but, things were decided to a certain extent before we arrived. Though I do think we make choices here as well, and some of our contracts may not happen when we take different turns.

I certainly did have a finished feeling after my last child. In the beggining, I did not have a set number...I actually had a schedualed surgery to have my tubes tied after 3, but I had a strong urge to not go ahead with it, sometime later I divorced...met my new husband and had 2 more children, 19 years later we are still together.

I think it is biological. I have known several women who made it their mission in life to have a baby, it is all they could think about. Many of them had major depression and spent 10,000's at clinics to get pregnant. Shortly after birth this biological drive dies off and some women (the ones I know anyway) are dazed and confused. They have this attitude of 'what just happened, omg I have a baby, my whole life has changed and I can't party any more'. I think this is why postpartum depression kicks in for many women, it is a subconscious realization that their body has tricked them into procreating. The ones who don't have issues are likely in a good relationship and want to be mothers as opposed to working in a cubicle it is an ok job/lifestyle..

[edit on 30-11-2008 by halfempty]

reply to post by azurecara


My answer to you is a mixture of answers. There are many different reasons why. For some women when you get to that point in your life, you just yearn for a baby (because you felt like you accomplished a lot in your life and the only thing left is to have a baby, or you and your husband are so in love with each other that you want to share that love in the ultimate way, having a baby). Sometimes people like the military wives want to have kids because if their husband goes off to war and dies their husband can live thru their child and also dont forget the COLA and BAH (it is an advantage). Where I live, many grandparents, aunties, uncles and siblings will help you take care of your child, thus allowing you to have more children because other people will help you take care of them. For these people they have like 4 5 6 children. For me, I have one. I am the only one taking care of him and because of this, it is hard so I don't really want any more children any time soon. But I will, why, because this is what I am meant for. I love children and I love to love them, but when the times is right I will have another one. Heres a true story. Theres this girl I know and she got pregnant had her first son and married the guy. The guy supported her emotionally and financially and her in-laws helped raised the baby. She told her husband that she didn't want to work until the baby went to school (which I think is a lie, she doesn't want to work at all) and he agreed. When the baby was 3 she had her second one. She told her husband the same thing and he agreed. After she had her second one she left the kids with her family and started doing her own thing. Seeing other people, going out and partying she hadnt lived in the same household as her kids for a couple of years. Well she got tired of that and went back with her husband. When she did she got pregnant again and had her third baby, her husband agreed that she didnt have to work till the baby went to school. Her baby turned 3 and guess what, she had her 4th one. True story, yes. Coincidence, no. Some women just have kids for the wrong reasons.

Interesting subject...and I have to agree with the posters who think that people whould be so much more careful when deciding to have babies....

Personally, for me it's a spiritual issue. I believe that we all agree to be each other's parents, babies, whatever, depending on what we have agreed between us to learn. Simply on a personal level, I knew by the time I was 10 years old that I would never have children this time round. don't ask me how I knew...I just did, and I've always been happy with that decision.

Cait x

Yes, we have contracts, that we were stupid enough to write up ourselves to some extent, and usually overdo things a bit, and they, our team of elders and guides, angels etc, attempt to talk us into reason, to take it in smaller steps, our evolution. In the end, an agreement is made between us and the advisors, often too harsh still. Then free will can undo the whole thing for the worse or better.

Yup, I know what you mean....but I guess we do still have to learn the tough stuff too...as much as it hurts, it's all part of being human. I sometimes wonder what I've been through with children in past lives to make me not want them this time round. Maybe I've had hundreds, maybe I was a midwife and just saw too much of it...and maybe it's cos I know there are just too many of us here now. I'm not sure how much free will has to do with the really important stuff though....either we agree to it or we don't. If we've agreed to learn what it feels like to lose someone, free will doesn't have a lot to do with it. Just my feeling though...

I think we overdo the harshness of our contracts most of the time, and some times the situation is chosen for us, even some more blessed ones. What I mean by free will, is we can mess up the plan either in a bad way, by getting lost in the wrong path, or, we can sidestep some of the trauma by seeking a higher wisdom position and avoid some of what others call karma through forgiveness and higher understandings. In other words, it is possible to go through all the levels in one life, though rarely done.

I think children are where they are meant to be either through choice or placement, and some of why we come down is to help another person, who then becomes our child or parent.

[edit on 30-11-2008 by mystiq]

As a male,i knew i didnt want my own biological children from the age of 16 or 17...that may change but i very much doubt it.When my life is stable,i have a good relationship with a woman i love(although this isnt absolutely needed imo) just as long as i know i have a good home,stable income etc i will be adopting a child.Too many kids dont have homes when they need them,so i will most definetly be adopting kids in the future rather than *making* lol my own,biology,dna etc doesnt mean much to me compared to emotional attachment.

Im only in my 20's right now so that may change,but i doubt it,im very adamant about adopting.

[edit on 30-11-2008 by Solomons]

reply to post by Solomons


Ok, your choice is to adopt a child. But you are still contemplating raising a child, which could be considered a biological imperiative. Or the other side of the coin, is that you perhaps have made a spiritual contract with a soul destined to be your child, born of another's body.

Do you mind if I ask if you have a number of children in mind?

Originally posted by azurecara
reply to post by Solomons

 

Ok, your choice is to adopt a child. But you are still contemplating raising a child, which could be considered a biological imperiative. Or the other side of the coin, is that you perhaps have made a spiritual contract with a soul destined to be your child, born of another's body.

Do you mind if I ask if you have a number of children in mind?

This is far into the future i dont have a fixed number,just as long as i can support them and give them good a life..no numbers.Yes i would say its a biological imperative,but not in the sense of blood related, genetically linked etc

I've always been comfortable with the idea of not having children.


All of a sudden my body has different ideas. I definitley think it is biological. Even though I say to my self I don't want children there is something in me that yearns physically to become pregnant. I can't explain it, it is the strangest thing.

My partner is much younger then I am and his attitude is pretty non chalant about it, if it happens it happens. But I've been finding myself obsessed with the idea of having his baby. Yet, I don't want to give up my lifestyle which would have to change drastically should I become pregnant. It's confusing, but I really can't help it.

I'm 35 now and the drive is at maxium level, perhaps because my body knows that the clock is counting down. It hasn't happened yet despite all our efforts *winks* but I think it will soon, at least I hope so as I can't take this roller coaster of conflicitng emotions much longer!

And if it does happen I suspect all my doubts will be soothed by hormones, if it doesn't I guess with time whatever is going on with my body will play out until menapause.

We have a drive, but also we are opening a gate for a soul, so it's probably a little of both. I don't think you have to have a certain number, but who knows really.