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New Stock market Terms

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posted on Nov, 28 2008 @ 09:00 AM
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  • CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
  • CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
  • BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
  • BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
  • VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
  • P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
  • BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
  • STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
  • STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
  • STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
  • FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
  • MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
  • CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
  • YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
  • WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
  • INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
  • PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use

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got this in an email this morning and thought I'd share the laugh




posted on Nov, 28 2008 @ 03:52 PM
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Originally posted by warrenb

  • BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
  • STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

  • MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.



  • I loled at this, I still am and now my sides hurt.

    Yes that was a one liner.



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