How To Pogo

For years toy makers have been designing toys that capture the sole attention of the public at large. Take the bicycle or the Radio Flyer Wagon for instance. At one time or another nearly every household in America had ownership of at least one. Falling shortly behind these two in fame is the pogo stick. Learning to use your pogo stick isn't exactly easy. It takes selfish desire, concentration, and repetitiveness. If you have these three components you will surely master the contraption and be reaping the benefits of its use in no time flat.

First of all, your selfish desire must be a key component of your pogo stick ownership. Begin by purchasing the pogo stick of your dreams, one you can love, one you can bond with. Go to the store. See it. Buy it. After doing this, you should then take your new pogo stick home with you and place it on it's own special shelf; or you can hang it on your wall like a trophy. This step is important due to the fact that it expresses your desire to learn and master your pogo stick. You must care for your pogo stick or you will quickly lose interest. Your friends of course will see your pogo stick and want to try it out. No Way. Stick your tongue out to them and declare proudly, "This is my pogo stick, get your own."

Riding is another story altogether and requires strict concentration. The first step to riding your pogo stick is to find yourself a flat, hard ground surface. Go on. Do it. The street will do. Now, stand in front of your pogo stick and grip the handlebars tightly. We don't want you falling off. Next you should place your strongest foot on its corresponding foot pedal. Be careful now. Concentrate. Now, jump onto your pogo stick and exert the weight of your body mass down towads the ground. There is a spring located on the main frame of your pogo stick that will push you back up towards the sky. When this happens, lift your weight up and go with the flow. You will come down again soon. Now is the part where you should hold on tight and bounce. Concentrate hard. Watch the pavement intently as you bounce up and down. This will help you to maintain a steady and safe bouncing motion. Concentrate on the ground. Pretend it is you mother's face, your father's, perhaps, your ex-wife's. No matter. Smash. Smash. Smash! When you become tired or feel that you have lost all control of your balance, jump away to the ground. When this happens, be sure not to let go of the handlebar grips, however. You wouldn't want to scratch your precious pogo stick.

Pogo sticking takes endurance. You must be repetitive by nature. This is not a one-day sport to be set aside like dirty laundry. Work your pogo stick over and over again. Don't give up! Feel the throb of your thighs as your inner quads are worked viscously. Climbing on again and again is the only sure-fire way to assure that your fat jiggly gluts will melt away.

The sport of pogo sticking has been around for many, many years. It is both fun and rewarding. You, the reader, have been informed of the necessary comonents of the game. Now you have to ask yourself, "Do I have what it takes to pogo?"


The End.

reply to post by HugmyRek

Very beautiful. And strange.

Concentrate on the ground. Pretend it is you mother's face, your father's, perhaps, your ex-wife's. No matter. Smash. Smash. Smash!

Yes. Strange. And innocently horrific. But still attractive.

reply to post by Buck Division


Thank you for your impression! I really very much value it.

It was an English assignment to write an intruction on a "How To" something. I forgot I had written it some years back. I thought, what the heck and threw it up, without modifying. I don't think that about my parents.....about my adoptive parents, yes. :-)

When I learned to POGO, in fact, the action put me in a mental place where I could think nothing at all. They don't make POGOs like they used to. The springs would get weak. Now the springs are too overly strong to have any fun with, unless you weigh 400lbs or are incredibly, incredibly, strong, I imagine.