"you're stupid" metaphors

what about
you couldnt find water if you fell out of a boat.

Originally posted by DarkHelmet
I'm sure you've all heard of Weird "Al" Yankovich. In his new CD Poodle Hat, his song Genius in France has all kinds of these... like: I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel, I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball, and my personal favorite:The room temperature's higher than my IQ.

Here's the rest of the lyrics:
Genius In France

Yeah, i was totally thinking of werid al when reading this, but u beat me to posting

[Thou hath] not so much brain as ear wax.

Thou fawning dismal-dreaming mammet!

Be not lost so poorly in your thoughts.

Thou currish idle-headed devil-mon
O teach me how I should forget to think.


Thou clouted clay-brained fustilarian!

all from shakespeare

1) You're not the smartest peanut in the turd.

2) You're dumber than a DlCK on a dog.


[Edited on 5/27/2004 by DivineSoma]

I just though up a great one the other day!

You are swinging stupid and hitting a grand slam every time.

Stupid could be replaced with just about anything.

Originally posted by Jonna
Sideline: A phrase that really annoyes me is 'I could care less' when what people really mean is 'I could NOT care less'. (Mild rant for the morning.)

I generally use 'I could care less', but I usually amend it with 'But that would take effort'.

Lessee, How about "He's got one oar in the water."

She's about as sharp as a wet piece of leather...

She has her head so far up her butt that it's starting to grow back out of her shoulders...

He's just a pile of flesh with eyes...

You're a taco short of a combonation plate.