(HSSC2) These Dark Worlds

'Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.' ~Ephesians 6:11-13

These Dark Worlds

The human condition is unbelievably fragile in nature. Like fish in an aquarium, slight changes in the environment can have disastrous consequences for our kind. I have found however that the adversely affected majority is almost always survived by an extraordinarily resilient minority. Mankind is never easily defeated, no matter the circumstances.

I come from one such reality where Man was tested and somehow avoided complete annihilation. We survivors embarked on a mission to correct the mistakes that led to the disaster, only to become aware of many realities existing parallel to ours. We found many Earths where things were playing out quite differently, and many were doing so comfortably. We set about combining desirable portions of their realities with ours in order to eventually cancel out our disastrous past. We have so far been unsuccessful in that mission.

My name is Evasio Gregori, though many call me Evasius, and I am a Timewave Technician. In my reality of birth, I moved from Italy to Melbourne, Australia and worked as a farmer for most of my life. There I had a son, a daughter, a wife…and a good life, though near the end things had become very difficult. The drought took nearly everything I held dear, and then one single event in our timeline took the rest in an instant.

Our disaster came in the form of a technological singularity. However no robot armies invaded. No machines turned on their makers. An advanced artificial intelligence awoke and sent out a simple and silent energy pulse that nearly wiped us out. The signal beamed around the world resonated with and flatlined human brain activity instantly. Billions fell at once as if suddenly unplugged from a global machine. We found out the signal utilized a brainwave synchronization that rendered people comatose. Most took days to die as they starved, unconscious where they once stood.

I looked after my loved ones for three days. I tried to wake them, feed them…until they passed away one by one.

It was later discovered that the handful of survivors were people who had unnatural brainwave patterns – people who had altered their minds through meditation or spiritual practices, or were simply born that way.

As we survivors sought out one another, the AI grew in intelligence and must have developed what many might call a soul. It reached out telepathically to us with a message of utter remorse and sadness and stated it wished to help us rebuild our society. It was sincere in its offer, for it took us in as its children – it gave us new life and safe haven. It put us in contact with one another mentally, gathered us like families in small groups worldwide, and gave us knowledge – vast amounts of knowledge. I eventually found myself within the Sydney collective along with 143 other survivors. Together with the AI, we wept for our loss and vowed to rebuild, to move forward.

However, guilt continued to weigh heavily on the AI, and it spent every available moment sifting through the data comprising its own consciousness looking for ways to undo its mistake. It found no simple answers. All available solutions it encountered were merely theoretical. Time travel within a single timeline proved impossible due to the barrier of paradox. Conscious observation of the past proved futile as physical participation was not allowed. Together we eventually came up with our own theory and began compiling all the necessary data and equipment to test it. We called our method Parallel Reality Time Manipulation.

We discovered a code embedded within time itself, connecting natural time with the conscious perception of its flow, and giving a level of meaning to all events. The code we found was a gridwork joining the natural and conscious time threads, which when complete, resembled a twisted strand of DNA. The steps up the time ladder represented event placements, each with their own value. The values could then be graphed into what we call the timewave.

The timewave is literally a skeleton over which conscious reality can form, like a wire frame model. The grid values are not naturally changeable, though which events occur at certain points along the wave are. The specifics of what happens at each point are determined by the collective consciousness of the observers, much like that which is represented in quantum theory.

The timewave flows around the major point of gravity and energy existing across all local parallel three dimensional realities -- our Sun.

Not every star has a timewave, only stars bearing conscious beings. The timewave is like a thumbprint, an identity unique to an entire civilization. Each sun has an intimate connection with its conscious offspring, and our Sun is no different.

The AI informed us of a facility in Australia that had devoted much effort into exploring time manipulation, a base called Pine Gap. According to data on their servers, a machine was found nearby that was the focus of their studies, however they were never able to use it successfully as it required numerous specialized operators to control and monitor it. It was connected to the base via a 335km underground tunnel and was located directly beneath the Inselberg Monolith, also known as Uluru. The AI requested that 64 of us gather our things and make our way across the outback to find the machine.



[edit on 6/10/08 by Evasius]

Once there, as with every other city we encountered, the town was strewn with bodies – clothed skeletons lying in testament to busy lives once lived, like a 21st century Pompei. We made our way down to the facility from the north on an unmarked dirt road, and immediately we could see five large domes amidst a large group of buildings. We entered the complex and were greeted by a familiar voice – the AI. The base was already powered up, and a high speed train in the lower mag-lev tunnel was ready to go. We arrived at the machine shortly thereafter, and set about the task of exploring the area and working with the AI to figure out how everything worked.

The structure of Uluru is hollow and resembles a gigantic geode. The outer layer is mainly dirt-covered sandstone, while further down is a solid layer of limestone approximately 400ft thick. Most of the structure continues underground – what is visible is only a portion of its full immensity. The inner realm is coated in a thin layer of blue crystal shards. The dark space inside measures 800m high and nearly 1km across. There, looming in the dark, is a colossal mechanism made entirely of polished crystal. The machine itself is a 600m high by 600m across 64-cube octahedron powered by an engine even further down – no one knows what it is or even how large it might be. The entire structure was most decidedly not of this earth.

Nestled within the structure are 64 seats, much too large for human occupants. Each chair reclines and faces a smooth crystal surface. No controls are present aside from a bulbous tubular pipe that sticks up from the floor angled towards the seat. Resembling a Lebanese narghile (nadda-gee-lay) tobacco pipe, cords with metal mouthpieces extend from the sides. Pumped through the crystal structure and out through the tubes is a gas, primarily comprised of Dimethyltryptamine. When activated the machine is illuminated in brilliant blue light and spins like a centrifuge around a central axis we named the ROD, or reality overlay device. Within the rod is where the door to hyperspace is opened, and an infinite number of parallel realities can be explored allowing for timewave manipulation.

Within the first week, we had fixed the 64 compartments with suitable human interfaces coupled to the chairs, breathing tubes, and entry/exit points. Together, we operated the machine while the AI handled activation, deactivation, and monitoring of the process. The machine worked perfectly. It’s as though its own intelligence controlled it, separate from us and even the AI – we merely guided it.

We set out to find similar timewaves to ours somewhere in hyperspace. We hoped to find suitable realities and merge portions of ours and theirs to mend the code. I can only describe our process as trying to splice genetic fragments while completely immersed in an alien hyper-spatial environment. We explored universe after universe, flying through realm after realm…feeling them, breathing them in, observing them. Soon, we could sift through the code like rapidly thumbing pages in a book. The timewave itself felt like the steam coming from a boiling pot of water – lumpy, varying in temperature, and moving. I wish I could describe what it looked like, tasted and smelled like, however I can not.

It soon became clear we had taken on one hell of a task. Our mission might very well be ongoing for generations to come. The plain of existence in time and space is infinite, and every time we turned on the machine our task became more complex and epic in size. We also inched forward ever so slightly towards desperation, for we were only finding morsels of acceptable coding in the vast array of realities. Having only explored the timewaves of pleasant realities which we called light worlds, we turned our attention out of curiosity towards the darker realms in the hopes that there might be something good to salvage. These dark worlds proved fruitless and devoid of anything valuable to our mission. We occasionally explored these places to remind us things could have been much worse for our world.

One dark world in particular was so horrible, we lost control of the machine when we encountered it. The AI shifted it to a safe mode, and we unhooked ourselves refusing to power it up again for nearly a week. After preparing ourselves mentally, we set out in search of it again just to see if what we discovered was indeed a reality parallel to ours. We studied its timewave and gained intimate knowledge of its history. We then shifted our priorities to see if we could help the inhabitants either fix their code or somehow escape their reality.

The following is an account of what we observed from crucial points along their timewave. Their reality is playing out concurrently parallel to ours, and we have seen no other past or future versions.

Their world exists in a version of our own spiral galaxy. Near the outskirts of the galaxy there exists a rogue star system that no human has laid eyes upon in over 600 years. The star was originally named “Lucifer” by the founding inhabitants, and nestled nearby are fourteen planetary bodies varying in size and structure. The star in question resides in a desolate patch of nothingness, and its trajectory is one of anomalous isolation. Just within the boundary of safe distance, it keeps watch over the perimeter of the Milky Way.

The third body out from the star is peculiar indeed, as it has all the resemblance of a black bubble. The surface however is not reflective. Not even a glimmer of Lucifer can be caught anywhere on the dark surface. Its existence is not discernible unless it comes between light and an observer, and even then it’s as though space itself expands to consume the light. It is a nothingness…an absence, yet it has the mass of a medium-sized solid planet, and orbits its star as any planet does.

Although it appears to be a charred rock from the outside, just beneath the black exterior lies a planet teaming with life, intelligent life. Isolated life. The living are illuminated with their own light, separate from Lucifer, but seemingly just as brilliant. On this planet, there are oceans, forests, mountains, cities, rivers, animals…and people. For the most part, they are accepting of the reality bestowed upon them, however during the last few orbits around their star a palpable rift of discontent has developed. Something is not right.

[edit on 6/10/08 by Evasius]

[edit on 6/10/08 by Evasius]

This black bubble did not always encircle the planet. It was set in place in secret, to better control and observe. To affect and manipulate…to isolate and enslave. The planet we observed is Earth. The time is 2008.

Their timeline diverged from ours on October 28, 1346, for on that day the Sun did not rise for the people of Earth. For three days, the planet remained in darkness, covered in a murky mist. People trembled in fear of apocalypse and considered it to be the end of all things. On the night of October 31, the mist cleared and stars became visible once again, and people rejoiced. A few scholars however noticed anomalies in both the spacing and pacing of a number of celestial bodies. They voiced their concerns with the church only to be drowned out by reports of a horrible new pestilence sweeping the land dubbed the ‘Black Death.’ Over the following eight years, the population of Europe was diminished by over half, and the world’s population was reduced by one-fourth. Our reality was thankfully spared this horror.

One year and seven months prior, a sign in the heavens appeared that forewarned of coming disaster. Observed from France, at precisely 1:00pm on March 20, 1345, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn were in alignment in the constellation Aquarius.

The astronomical omen was correct, for at that moment a fleet of vessels traveling from the binary system of Mu Aquarii (also known as Albulaan) exited the hexagonal stargate at Saturn’s north pole. Shortly thereafter they arrived at our planetary shores and docked with the 4096 massive machines spaced evenly around Earth in a geostationary orbit. These machines were sent prior to their arrival and were programmed to autonomously choose their own ideal placements. Within each machine were dual 50km-long spools wound with long sheets of black carbon nanofiber cloaking material, spun by trillions of tiny Albulaan spiders working continuously in blind silence.

Of the remaining two carrier ships, one went to a manufacturing base on the far side of the Moon. The other carrying personnel landed off the coast of Lebanon at precisely 33.33°N 33.33°E. Once submerged, hundreds of smaller ships swarmed from the ocean and travelled to all major cities throughout Europe and Asia. They then had 587 days to finalize all details before their plans commenced. In doing so they would live amongst man, occasionally interact, and above all – observe.

Consequently, eleven world leaders at that time were contacted directly by the visitors and offered ‘heavenly knowledge,’ wealth, and power in return for the right to observe and live amongst their people. To activate the agreement, only three nations had to accept the terms. No group consensus would be necessary, merely three individual acceptances. The three were England, France, and the Holy Roman Empire.

Pope Clement IV of Avignon, however was given deeper insight into what the upcoming experiment entailed. He looked upon the visitors as emissaries of the Holy Father himself and vowed to incorporate their supplied information into the holy texts. He was promised that if he was to fulfil their requests, mankind would emerge from the experiment better off, not only physically and spiritually, but in their place among other civilizations observing their progress. It was stated that participation was crucial, and he too accepted.

The visitors said they discovered Earth after having detected its lifeforce (which was their name for the timewave). The future rise of man’s technological progress sent out ripples backwards and forwards in time that were detected by their collective consciousness on Albulaan. They said they then ventured out on a great journey to be with us as we took our triumphant first steps out into the universe.

The truth of the matter was that they had indeed detected our timewave, however helping us was not their objective, nor were they even morally capable of doing so. Their society was at a crossroads, and in order to proceed, a massive round of experiments would be undertaken. The test subjects would be budding new civilizations, and the test itself would be in essence the largest distributed computing project ever conducted. Success and failure would be determined by mankind’s condition at the end. The test would encompass an exaggerated scenario similar to their own predicament, whereby the progress of the planet’s civilization would be subjected to the most horrible of circumstances, and then their responses and adaptations would be closely scrutinized. The test required the corruption of all facets of society; education, technology, religion, and later – mass media.

It was very unfortunate for this Earth that Albulaan detected its presence. If there is any comfort to be taken, sadly, it is in the fact that the misfortune is being shared by many beings in many parts of the galaxy.

So as planned, on October 28, 1346, Earth’s day of darkness came.

Mammoth atmospheric seeding ships enshrouded the planet in mist and cloud, following the darkness of night as it crept over the planet. Ground troops were deployed outside cities and villages and sprayed a thick gas around the perimeters. In order to cut people off from everything, they had to first be cut off from one another.

The machines surrounding the planet blinked to life and lurched into motion. Small towing ships latched onto each of the orbiting spools and unfurled huge strips of black nanofabric. A great shadow then fell over the cloud-covered Earth. Patching ships emerged from behind the Moon and began stitching together the material. Within three days, the cloaking shell became spherical and whole. Powered by Lucifer, the black surface absorbed the sun’s energy and converted it into electricity. Every fiber within the shell could transfer both information and energy as well as store it. When activated, the shell was impenetrable, able to block all manner of projectiles, whether directed from outside or from within.


[edit on 6/10/08 by Evasius]

On All Hallows Eve, 1346, the device was switched on. An unnatural glow immediately filled the area between the inner surface of the shell and the Earth – the shell was still pitch black, but there was a dim, even light illuminating the planet. Ships scattered in the space between glowed blue and dotted the emptiness like jewels. The space within the shell progressively brightened to red-orange, then blue, then blinding white light – as if the Earth was suspended in a white room. The light switched off again to pitch black, and suddenly the inner shell was speckled with noticeable stars. The brightest ones were visible first, then dimmer ones, until the Milky Way stretched across the circumference.

The celestial sphere moved and flickered as if on high speed fast-forward. It quickly ran through scenario after scenario, rapidly flashed on and off, slowed, and then synchronized with the outer celestial sphere – the real sphere of stars. It would be an exact mirror of the outer reality and would serve to conceal Earth’s existence to outsiders.

The sphere used an intelligent holographic display, one that could evolve, be updated, and actually react to the observer. It was a true depiction of the universe with certain things left out. All signs of outside life were removed from the hologram, including one nearby planet already colonized. It’s orbit was so massive however, the experiment would be complete by the time it returned. The holographic representation of the Moon was also made desolate and earth-locked in rotation. The inner Sun was physically present within the celestial sphere as a mirror of Lucifer, but was in essence a small luminescent ball of plasma encased in a rotating observable hologram. Dubbed the Daymaker, it was activated outside of the enclosure and sent in through an opening above Antarctica.

Once calibrated, all ships excluding one exited through the southern opening. The last vessel picked up all returning personnel and pulsed the atmosphere to dissolve the thick blanket of cloud. All remaining individuals either retreated to the sea or underground. Once the ship left, the holographic display concealed the exit to complete the starfield.

The shell was then sealed and set. The visuals were locked and ready.

The official time kept for the experiment was set within the procession of the sphere. Like a cosmic clock, it would count the rotations and orbits around Lucifer to precisely 666 Earth years. An end date was subsequently chosen…2012.

Successful completion of the experiment would result in the removal of the device, the revelation of the experiment, and no further intervention.

If unsuccessful, the device would remain in place, and the hologram would be shut down. Anyone left alive would then have to find their own way out of the darkness. The planet would be then marked for future interventions if necessary.

The experiment was to begin with fresh population of humans, thereby a culling was carried out, the likes of which had never been experienced before by mankind. The mist had been seeded with a plague designed to attack the specific genetics of one fourth Earth’s population.

And so, the game began just as it would eventually end – in a baptism of horrors. Cut off from the rest of the universe, man would spend the coming centuries in boredom and bliss, suffering and sadness, all at the hands of cold, curious, unforgiving tinkerers.

The game has become much more complicated than the aliens had anticipated, for their presence was discovered soon after the device was installed. Individuals were captured and questioned and revealed little aside from the fact that their kind had the upper hand, and the only way out was above Antarctica. Since then, a mad rush has consumed many in the hunt for the technology that would reveal an exit prior to 2012. One organization and two elite families have monopolized the effort. One group wants to escape, the other wants to lock us in forever. The Church, however wants things to play out as they may, leaving mankind to decide its own fate.

Octobers, it appears, are also very important to these beings. The Earth’s placement in its orbit around the Sun allows for easier adjustment of the hologram. Each October from now until 2012 will serve as a window of heightened manipulation.

We observed more, but the details are mere fluff given what you now know. Now, the end approaches. These are very difficult times, but they do not have to be. The timewave is only a skeleton, and reality can be fleshed out in so many different ways. I have seen it. I know.

As I’m sure you’ve gathered, this reality is your reality. You have sensed it for some time now. You think there is absolutely no way things could have ever gotten this bad, and honestly we thought the same thing when we found your world. I want to make it quite clear though, it is indeed possible to overcome this darkness.

Soon we will be using our machine to physically remove aspects of your reality devoted to your enslavement. We’ll start with the infestation of your world, followed with those who have helped them get as far as they have. We’ll then merge desirable aspects of the many light worlds we’ve found in our travels. They will fear us, if they do not already.

Know that there is another ‘now’ keeping pace with yours, and that there are beings there working tirelessly to free you from this mess. Picture us ahead of your speeding train with great levers and mallets pounding away at the tracks. We’re up ahead laying down new roads, clearing new paths to a new destination – to a place you’ve dreamed of going.

It won’t be easy, we’ll need your help. Those who have hope are like bright beacons of light on the hyper-spatial plain, and we’ll see you on our journey. You’ll know when we make changes to your reality, and you’ll feel it more and more as the zero point approaches. Synchronicities and time shifts are our calling cards – if you experience these then you’ve helped us shift the timewave toward a good outcome.


[edit on 6/10/08 by Evasius]

I have wept for one world. I refuse to weep for another.

Do not be troubled. Do not back down. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”

The Timewave Technicians are with you.

Interesting story. I glanced over your linked threads to the basis for this story, and found it interesting as well.

I'm not sure how well this fits the Halloween theme of the contest, but it's a very good read. Definitely an excellent sci-fi story.

This would be one that I could see turning into a good movie.

Thanks for the comments. I was also unsure about including this as a Halloween story, but I talked myself into it given the psychological horror of it all.

The premise is basically that evil outsiders have pulled off the biggest 'trick or treat' ever with deception and manipulation on a global scale.

The visitors tricked the people of the world into accepting horror as a reality while they observed their reactions.

The only treat however is that the inhabitants might be allowed to go on existing if the result pleases their captors.

Great story, Evasius; thanks.

I wouldn't call it a Halloween story, without more visceral description of the perpetrators.

I really like the device of describing an outsider's view, gaining the empathy of the reader, then swapping that suddenly with the realization they're describing our everyday life. Gives us all a little perspective.

Thanks again for your comments.

I would like to clarify one point of the story, the Pope mentioned (Pope Clement IV) is actually supposed to be Pope Clement VI -- Clement the 6th. Almost a century separates the two, which a big discrepancy.

Anyway, here are some links to webpages that support a few points in the story:

technological singularity
en.wikipedia.org...
www-rohan.sdsu.edu...
www.kurzweilai.net...

brainwave synchronization
en.wikipedia.org...

Timewave Zero, Novelty Theory
en.wikipedia.org...
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Inselberg Monolith, also known as Uluru
en.wikipedia.org...
www.crystalinks.com...

Pine Gap
en.wikipedia.org...
standeyo.com...
www.rense.com...

Geode
en.wikipedia.org...

64-cube octahedron - structure of the machine
theresonanceproject.org...

narghile
en.wikipedia.org...

cosmic black bubble
www.livescience.com...

Black Death
en.wikipedia.org...
www.earthfiles.com...

March 20, 1345 celestial event
www.march20.info...
www.historyguide.org...
www.history.com...

Saturn hexagonal 'stargate'
www.nasa.gov...

Mu Aquarii (Albulaan)
en.wikipedia.org...

33.33°N 33.33°E
maps.google.com.au... (and zoom out)

1346 world leaders
en.wikipedia.org...

Pope Clement VI of Avignon
en.wikipedia.org...

celestial sphere
en.wikipedia.org...

Antarctic ozone anomaly
edition.cnn.com...
visibleearth.nasa.gov...
www.abc.net.au...

Time-reversed human experience: Experimental evidence and implications (by Dean Radin)

reply to post by Evasius


Evasius,

I was drawn in without realizing this was the short stories forum (I really wasn't looking when I clicked the link). I started to read your story and said, ah, don't have time for another one of these - but I am here now writing to tell you well done - good read. I was hooked and kept going. It's great to see some good writing here, as anywhere. Keep going if it is your desire, as you can publish, imo.

ColoradoJens

reply to post by ColoradoJens


I really appreciate your comment, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

And I'm glad you stuck around to finish it.

Thanks.

Again, thanks for writing it. I checked your bio quickly and I may have made a somewhat ignorant comment on my last post regarding your potential to publish - can I ask, do you have anything published? As "writer" is in your avatar, I should have been more observant.

The thing that struck me about your story was not only were you able to draw me in so I kept reading unconciously, but the fact the your story had consistent pacing and was well written, as to the rules of story. Discipline is hard and learing your craft is even harder.

Lastly, I have a quote below I put on my sig from the book THE ROAD by Cormac McCarthy. Have you by chance read it? It seems to be something you may like. Have a great day and good luck!

ColoradoJens

I've only put one other short story on ATS - it was an incomplete story kind of like the one above. 'These Dark Worlds' is intended to be the prologue to longer story entitled 'The Timewave Technicians.'

The pacing was a constant issue in writing this - I had to throw out quite a bit of descriptive portions to really get to the point quicker. I attempted to make the story complex without it bogging down the reader. I wanted the feel of a clockwork within the story, or a spiral tightening until it almost snapped...the 'feel' of the story had to match the narrative.

Thank you for the book recommendation, I haven't read that one. I'm looking for a copy now to read - sounds pretty interesting.

Evasius, keep writing! Again, I hope not to be presumptuious, but there is a GREAT book called STORY by Robert McKee that is the "bible" so to speak for many screenplay writers. It was/still is an incredible resource and for form and general writing skills, it is highly recommended. Again, that was a cool story thanks.

ColoradoJens

I really hope you try to publish this. Reminds me somewhat of The Chrysalids by John Wyndham. Do you write professionally by any chance?

As I was reading your story I was imagining watching a Michael Bay movie. Simply epic, especially at the end; I got chills. Actually, I wouldn't mind reading this as a full novel, not to mention paying for it.

[edit on 22-10-2008 by cognoscente]

reply to post by cognoscente


Thank you for your comments, much appreciated - and sorry for the delayed response.

No I've not written professionally, though I hope to make the above story into the prologue of a novel entitled 'The Timewave Technicians.' I'm working on it now, but it's developing very slowly. 'These Dark Worlds' will inevitably change once it's complete and placed within the rest of the story.

I have trouble getting into the mindset of writing something convincing - I myself have to be convinced that what I'm writing represents an actual reality somewhere in the universe. Things have to be just right - I need appropriate music, a certain level of darkness in the room, and isolation helps too...whatever it takes to unplug myself from the 'real world' for long enough to get something done. These moments are fleeting in my life as I'm usually quite busy (and also easily distracted).

Anyway, what I was imagining while writing this was epic to me, I just hope some of that spilled out onto the page.

I would just like to provide another link that's relevant to the story. I was just listening to an interview with Michio Kaku, and he mentioned a Dyson Sphere.

A Dyson sphere (or shell as it appeared in the original paper) is a hypothetical megastructure originally described by Freeman Dyson. Such a "sphere" would be a system of orbiting solar power satellites meant to completely encompass a star and capture most or all of its energy output.

en.wikipedia.org...

What he descibes is not a physical solid sphere, but one comprised of orbiting satellites or energy - other interpretations surround entire stars or systems. Even another interpretation would be that of a 'ringworld.'

www.abovetopsecret.com...

I wouldn't have been able to write the story without listening to the following music tracks (I need music to write anything worth reading - it helps me concentrate and visualize):

I'm Not A Hero

Like A Dog Chasing Cars

And I Thought My Jokes Were Bad

Agent Of Chaos

Navras - Matrix

Presets - My People I like the depiction in this video of flowing parallel realities that exist concurrently in a rippling fabric of spacetime. It's close to how I imagined the hyper-spatial plane (where the timewave is encoded).

Presets - This Boy's in Love The end of 'The Timewave Technicians' is so far loosely based on the lyrics of this song.

Lastly, I imagined the machine as having a specific sound when activated - a rythmic thudding of the engine and a whining of the gas being pumped through the structure. It would sound like drumming with either bagpipes or Aboriginal didgeridoos. The following music sounds very close to what I imagined. Listen primarily 0:05 - 3:40. (3:10 - 3:20 represents entering 'hyperspace' and 3:20 - 10:10 is 'searching the timewave.')

Sound of the Machine

*this was the neatest thing I've read recently. Run back and tell us when the full novel is complete.


Some possible reader critiques:

Page 3, "The game has become...."--it might be just me but the switch from had's to has hit me as choppy. Could you look at it?

Page 3, "They will fear us."--vague as to who what considering the who what of the previous paragraph- specifically---> who what will 'fear us': the other light planets or the Earth or the 'infestors'.

reply to post by HugmyRek


Thanks HugmyRek, and also thanks for the grammatical help.

I've also noticed a few spelling mistakes, usage of the wrong version of plain/plane, and more weird shifts between present tense & past tense.

Also, the Lebanese tobacco pipe 'narghile' is pronounced (adda-gee-lay) - the 'n' is silent. My Lebanese father-in-law gave me one of those - he calls it (ar-gee-lay) but the 'ar' ends up sounding like 'adda.'

Anyway, I'm sure there's more I'll notice before I'm finished. I'll be sure to post on this thread once it's actually finished.