After a minute, The bailout issue stood up and smacked me in the face.

My first impulse was, "NO WAY". This came out of years of disdain for banking and big business, etc. etc. With further deliberation, I was forced to at least consider the bailout bill. Seems not 1 leading gov't official is against it - gotta mean something right?
I mean, you don't just propose a 700 billion dollar bailout on a whim. There's gotta be some serious stuff goin down. So I went, "Hmmm..." That's when it happened...

The bailout issue lept to its feet, boldly walked across the room and slapped me in the face like a pimp straightening out his ho. It stepped back and spoke, "Are you f%$#ing stupid? Under what possible circumstance could you look up from your tattered notebook and say, "Eureka! I've solved the problem! ...a 700 billion dollar bailout!... It doesn't happen. If as the gov't claims, this is the ONLY possible solution, then there simply is no solution. The game's over. All the the teams, officials, and fans have left the building. But wait... the losing team's coach is standing at center court yelling, "Wait! It's not over! The clocks aren't accurate enough! There's still .003 seconds left! We could launch a full court 3pt tap, and get fouled. Convert the 4pt play. The other coach could then fly into a rage get a technical foul and there you have it! 5 points and the game is tied! OVERTIME! WAIT..."

If the solution is a 700 BILLION DOLLAR, not million, BILLION, DOLLAR bailout, then stop listening, vote NO, and go take a nap. 700 BILLION, PEOPLE!!!!!!! You've got to be joking. The notion is SO ludicrous that I'm embarrassed that I even gave it a second thought. Not to mention the shameful light being cast upon us by the fact that our gov't is seriously close to doing it! Or whatever ridiculous reality comes about after it passes... Would someone go back inside and tell Coach to go home?
Why don't we just borrow a google-plex dollars and go to Tahiti for a few weeks?
Well at least BOTH candidates for president are supporting it. That's a relief. ...Thanks Barack. I appreciate it...
Maybe I'll just write in Ron Paul.
We're just making even bigger fools of ourselves in the world's eye by making this nonsense an issue.
I AM depressed. (per Blazing Saddles)
-v