Do the philosophies of love and fear go hand in hand?

The question is simple: Do the philosophies of love and fear go hand in hand? Allow me to go further and explain: Do you give your loved one (particularly spouses, fiancé/fiancée, or equivalent) a gift for an anniversary, birthday, or any other special day because you really want to or because you fear that your loved one may be angered if you did not? Social norms may direct you to give gifts and etc., so this may affect your actions, that is, you may give gifts and etc. because you have been socialized to follow such protocols. Do you fear breaking social norms?

This discussion could get very interesting! Personally, I think the philosophies of love and fear do go hand in hand.

For the record, sure I could have put this in the 'Relationships,' but I desire a more serious discussion .




[edit on 24-9-2008 by they see ALL]

have you ever seen Donnie Darko? the spectrum of human emotions are categorized by your two keywords there exactly.

they are dynamic, and pretty close to polar opposites. but they go hand in hand all the time

most people settle for "love" out of "fear" that they will never; be given another chance, or any number of variables.

if you have to weigh the good over the bad when thinking about a loved one; im sorry, but your dominated by fear, and not love.

Well, for those who are masochistically INTO being turned on by fear.. so much that they LOVE being fearful of what their partner may or may not do if they don't provide love to them then this oroboros catch 22 cycle could throw a big ol monkey wrench in the entire discussion now wouldn't it?

I've known girls like this.

rare, but I've known them.
they do exist.

-

I don't think that love and fear are polar opposites. I think the antithesis of love is indifference; the opposite of fear might be attraction.

.........and no, I remember and make a ceremony of my darlin's and my events because the little dances you share together are the best things, the precious things.

Originally posted by argentus
.........and no, I remember and make a ceremony of my darlin's and my events because the little dances you share together are the best things, the precious things.

Cool. However, what would happen if you didn't partake in such things? Would your partner be angered? Do you fear this? I am not trying to force the fear angle on you, I am just curious. Do you fear even a little?

At the risk of taking this in a strange and different direction ...

A couple months back I read an argument (and I have no idea where I saw it now) that this is in fact one reason why we will never be able to make robots to be romantic partners for lonely humans.

The argument was that love depends not perhaps on fear, but certainly on unpredictability: not knowing how the beloved will react, and being aware of how lucky we are to be beloved.

That we require knowledge of the possibility of rejection to fully appreciate and participate in love, but that if a robot were designed that could potentially reject us, no one would buy it to assuage their loneliness.

Which made sense to me. I think a key to experiencing love is the willingness to take a risk, to open up to another. So in that sense, yes, love depends on bravery: being afraid but moving forward anyway.

Originally posted by drsmooth23
have you ever seen Donnie Darko? the spectrum of human emotions are categorized by your two keywords there exactly.

also from Mr Darko: "you can't just lump everything together like that!"

You cannot "lump" or categorize the infinate possible human thoughts and emotions into philisophical "niches" and begin to define something without involving other thoughts and emotions from other areas and in relation to the specific something or things.

DD: "it's just not that simple"

One not sharing anothers relevance is impossible. They are all linked in some way and you could say that they all go "hand in hand", obviously some more than others.

The possibilities are infinate and everything "could" be considered with everything else. It's up to us to decide what relevant tools we need for each job and how much effort and importance each subject deserves.

And life doesn't come with instructions.. .. who said it was easy!

The mind was simple...then came man.

[edit on 25/9/2008 by nerbot]

reply to post by they see ALL


No worries, it's an interesting thing to talk about. First, if I didn't participate in the little things, it would be because I had chosen to not do so, and that is not really who I am....... I'd have to..... I don't know..... be angry enough about something to ignore the events as a punishment? That's not me either.

But no, if either of us said one day, "I don't want to celebrate our anniversary any more," [for example], there would be confusion, and perhaps a bit of fear on the other's part wondering if the one who stated it had done a complete changeabout and had serruptitiously found someone else. That's the difficult thing for my circumstance in imagining this, because we both love these little dances, and to not want them might be a signal of a hidden problem, which is ALSO not who we are .... heh

Let's say I forgot her birthday. Or our anniversary, or whatever..... just forgot. No, I wouldn't feel fear of reprisal. I would be disappointed in myself for forgetting, and she, knowing her, would be coddling me and assuring me that, hey, sometimes we have brain farts, today's another day, now go out and buy me something nice. Actually, very rarely do the celebrations involve expense. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary a few days ago. We'd intended to take a few days off, work on the garden, play in the sea. As it turned out, I had to do some emergency repairs that were caused by Gustav, and so the anticipated time off was toasted. It worked just as well four days later.

Hey, we didn't get this way overnight I think fear is a useful sensation...... it alerts a person to danger...... sometimes to dangers you aren't consciously aware of, and it has it's place and has saved my butt a few times. It's a tool, and can be directed into a powerful reaction. Combined with it's twisted sister guilt, it is utterly worthless, unproductive, destructive even. Fear can also have an attractive side..... I remember that from freefalling and mountain climbing. It a sharp edge, and there have been times when I've felt SO incredibly aware of every tactile sensation, every sensory input, magnified, energized, and fear was the medium.

Good thread. Sorry for the novella, but after all it's half your fault for asking the question.

Cheers

Originally posted by argentus
Good thread. Sorry for the novella, but after all it's half your fault for asking the question.

Thanks! I am glad you enjoy it.

reply to post by argentus