Attention seagulls,snakes and fish!

Good, I`m glad you Seagulls Snakes and Fish clicked this rant thread I have some important things to say to you,if your a member here, great! if your a lurker cool so long as you listen up.

I think it best to start at the beginning which caused me to write this.

We (the Mr`s and myself) love to get away from the rat race and go camping, well away from anyone else to relax, recharge, and enjoy each others company out in the wilderness, as you seagulls snakes and fish being members here I`m sure you understand with all the doom and gloom topics of war, disasters, gov cover ups etc etc that this world can be stressful on its own to ones self, let alone our own personal lives.

We had hoped on going fishing yesterday Sunday 21-8-08 (written in MS Word,22nd) but due to horrible weather couldn`t,we woke up early Monday morning (where we both had the day off) looked at the sky which was clear blue in all direction and hoped the weather man had finally got it right today as the forecast was for fine weather,which it was all day.

We packed the 4x4 with all the gear,opened the back door,yelled "come on Sampson!" (our dog) who responded instantly and who was very excited as he knew we were going on a fishing trip!.

It was a nice smooth uneventful trip to our secret (well? secret to the humans) spot which some of you seagulls snakes and fish know and have seen us there yourself and if you disbelieve what I`m saying here,then ask around and I`m sure other seagulls snakes and fish will confirm it for you,as we have spent many days and nights there.Lets just say the spot is an hour or so out of civilization north of Perth Western Australia then about 5km of four wheel driving to get to the location and leave it at that huh? Cool!

Right so we have now parked up in the sand dunes in the middle of no where and we are all set up on the waters edge baiting our gang hooks with mullies (sardines if you’re a seagull or fish from another country) the Mr`s has removed her clothes as usual getting some rays as have I,now I know some of you guys are a bit prudish and I could have left that part out easily,but word would get around especially from the gulls(admit it,you know you gossip), even though your also hypercritical because I have never seen one of you with a stitch on and if you still have a problem with that then tell someone who cares because I couldn`t give a pelicans poo hole.

I wade out with my baited surf rod as far as I dared as the water was rough and cold and cast it out just beyond the breakers and walked backwards to the shores edge, flicked over the bail arm and tensioned the line.

Now seagulls this part applies to you guys specifically so here we go…….

Out of the corner of my eye as I`m watching the tip of my fishing rod for a bite I can see the Mr`s start walking into the surf with her baited fishing rod pointed back over her shoulder and she`s doing little jumps now and again as the surf rolls in as to avoid getting her tummy splashed as we humans sometimes do,I`m sure you`ve seen us do it and that’s the reason why FYI,anyway……

Then some dingaling of a seagull see`s the mullie hanging (in mid air mind you as though there is such a thing as a hovering type of fish in the world!!) behind her, from her rod, the dingaling swoops down and grabs it and trys to fly away with it! Well of coarse it didn`t get far and only ended up inbedding one hook through its wing,now she`s screaming in fear and stress that she`s feeling and out of fear for this ding bat of a gull,oh great so its me to the rescue,I wade over and hand her my fishing rod and grab the gull around the neck so`s to have some type of control while with the other hand pulling down on the line trying to get some slack to ease the pain to its wing and to top it off fending off my dog who now has swam out to say hello to this idiot of a bird.The hooks we use are barbed and would not just fall out,so we had to walk backwards to the shore in this big tangled mess of rods and lines and animals,finally at the shore she was able to put the rods down and gently as she could remove the hook without breaking its fragile wing bone.I let go and without a word of thanks or a sorry it flew away.

Now the word dingaling might have caused some offense to the many intelligent gulls out there listening,but let me say that I`m not being all superior and that just because I`m human,far from it,FYI we too have dingalings ourselves that we have to suffer and deal with daily,here`s an example your probably not aware of,when some humans go on say? holiday, many of them stay in a place called a hotel,now very often they have a complimentary hair dryer,now these hair dyers often have a little tag on the cord (a little flappy thing) which says “do not use this device in the shower” see!!??? it was put there for a reason!! and that reason is dingalings,who else would use a hair dryer in the shower?


So all I want you guys to do is if you have a dingaling brother or sister seagull is have a gentle word with them,inform them there is no such thing as a hovering fish that is always behind a human with a fishing rod. (sorry not sure if the bird was male or female I thought that would be inappropriate to look,though did make me wonder,because it was blonde none the less,hint hint)

Ok? Sweet! That’s it for the seagulls thanks and feel free to comment if you wish.

We eventually got back to fishing and it quickly became apparent that the fish were not biting today,so we both relaxed back in a couple of beach chairs while watching Sampson run around like he was a dune buggy with four legs who was having the time of his life,into the water and back up into the dunes etc etc while we occasionally looked at our lines which was a waste of eye movement anyway.Sampson tired himself out a bit and came and laid at our feet,life was this way for half an hour or so,Sampson got up and went behind us somewhere and I thought he was just off exploring and paid no mind.

Now snakes this part refers to you guys……..

I was staring at the tip of my fishing rod in my seat relaxing in the sunshine 100 odd km`s away from the hustle and bustle of suburbia 5 4x4 odd km`s off a sealed road and suddenly the Mr`s gives out one of the screams that only a women can do that says something is drastic and dire,I spun around to see Sampson with his nose at the tail of a dugite following it up a dune,I only saw 3-4 foot of the snake as the head was already over the top of the dune,I repeatedly yelled at Sampson to STAY! Which he reluctantly did as snakes was something new to him and he`s very inquisitive and just playful.
After catching our breathe on such a dangerous situation our loved dog was just in without him realizing it,the Mr`s said she saw the snake take a strike at Sampson,well this worried me deeply and we packed up straight away and headed back home,all the while keeping a close eye on any tell tale signs he`d been bitten,as time went on we were rest assured he had not been.

So! Any snake reading this we are cool! Its always been cool between us,you leave us alone we leave you alone and if that particular snake hasn`t read this? Can you pass on our thanks for just giving Sampson a warning strike.

That’s it for the snakes,thanks and leave a comment if you wish.


So now we are back home a lot earlier than we anticipated or liked ,so I suggested we go down to our local beach a stone throw from where we live and try fishing there,which we did,3 hours of fishing there and we got zip!

This is your section to listen hard to FISH!

I have given leeway to the seagulls and to the snakes,but I`m not going to give you guys an inch.

Why? you may ask,well because its not like your moral or anything is it? and your very tasty and good for our health as a bonus.

Let me explain how I mean moral, your all cannibals you will eat your own kind!!,sure we have a couple of nutters as humans who do it now and again,but you try fishing or should it be humaning in your case? anyway get a rod and a human as bait and cast it onto the shore where humans sun bake and see if you can hook one of us because they went up and took a big bite out of your human bait,its not going to happen!!,but all of you do it when we go fishing! and don’t forget your tasty because you know your tasty!!
I`m sure you have heard the saying “you are what you eat” you eat fish,so that’s why your fish! seems logical to me anyway.

Just so you know,although we didn`t catch any of you fish today and amongst all the drama of us caring about other creatures,we went to the fish shop just to spite you tasty mongrels!.

So just to sum up,we have never had trouble at that spot before, with any of you creatures and we have caught plenty of fish there as well.So if we can all work out these little wrinkles we might be able to all DESTRESS! a little when we need to.

Thanks in advance.

Though by all means leave a comment if you wish.