A Question for Waitresses

I have a question for anyone who has been or currently is working as a waitress in a restaurant. I tend to eat out quite a bit and know a few waiters and waitresses on a more than friendly professional level. For instance at one restaurant there is this waiter who stays are our table for the longest time chatting on various subjects. I have known quite a few waiters and waitress that when they would see me out they would come up to me and have long conversations as we do, when they are working.

I know that just because a waiter or waitress talks and smiles at you, it doesn't mean they want to be your friend or get involved with you romantically. I tend to know the ones who are just being polite and the ones who really like me on some level. However, that tends to only come when they reveal their medical history to me, hug me, or we both see each other out in public.

There is this one lady who works at a restaurant that I went to today. I like her somewhat, although we haven't really spoken a whole lot. When we have had a chance to speak, she is friendly and goes farther into personal conversation than most of the business only waiters and waitresses. She tends to work in the back and behind the counter, occasionally she waits tables but rarely do we sit at her table.

When we do sit at her table I tend to be a bit anti-social and try not to look at her. It's not that I dislike her, I find her attractive and don't want her to know it. I tend to avoid relationships, especially romantic ones. Mostly because I am terrified of relationships. The few times I have spoken to her and decided to open up and not cut her out. She has been very friendly and sweet.

Well today she arrived at work shortly after we were seated. At least I think she did, maybe she had been in the back or on break. I saw her that one time and didn't see her again after that, today. When I saw her today, she came over to our table and told me she thought she saw me driving down the road.

She gave the location of where she saw me at, and I was in that location today. We chatted on a friendly level, she told me she lived over there and I mention that I didn't live too far from there and had to go get my auto tags renewed. That was the extent of the conversation. Now that you have the back ground info of the situation, you may be able to answer my question.

I want to ask her, if she wants to go bowling with me on Wednesday nights. The local bowling lane host a college night. She is college age as am I. She is just entering college while I am at the age of getting out of college. Even though I am not in college. I want to ask her that, because the people I go with tend to be flakes and show up once in a blue moon.

I want to ask her to go bowling with me, not as a date but as friends. If I did ask her, I would be sure to ask her to bring her friends, boyfriend or family with her if she wants. Now don't get me wrong, I would like to date her. I just feel safer with a friends relationship. Plus I appear to be really confident when I ask people if they want to hang out as friends somewhere instead of a date like setting. Should I ask her to go bowling with me, or should I not? Also do you think from the information I gave that she thinks of me as a business relationship only, or possible friend relationship?

She gives me the big chin up smile. That makes me think it is a possible friend relationship. Although I am just unsure and want other people's opinions. The most wanted option is from females who have worked in the food service industry.

reply to post by mrfreehugs
Don't be afraid! Just ask her out. Being a waitress dosen't make a "hill of beans" difference. You are a yong man and she is just a girl. Come on and do it!! You only live once, sounds to me like she is very interested.

As some one who works in the business I would say you could ask her to go with you. It sounds like she may have some interest in you.

If you just want it to be a platonic thing, just mention that you and some of your friends are going and wondered if she wanted to come along. To make her feel more comfortable, tell her to bring a friend or two also.

I have made many friends through the business by just such a situation.

The only thing that I would caution which is something that you have already thought of is the possibility of her not feeling the same way or whatever, and now everytime you go into there to eat things could possibly be a little be akward???

Dunno!!!

but the guy above me i think said it all...just do it. If you ask your chance if 50/50 if you never ask then your chance is 0/100

What seems like better odds to you?

Bowling? Why not ask her to go out dancing and drinking and perhaps become close friends if you catch my drift. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Perfect line for a waitress...ready?

"So, you serve me on a regular basis, when do I get to take you out for dinner?"

perfect line bud, trust me. If she is the least bit interested, that line will work.

Bowling was actually my first date. My wife wasn't a waitress, but she delivered pizzas...

Anyway, some chicks dig bowling. We had a blast.

I agree that pickup line is pure gold and would be perfect in your situation. If only I thought of that when I was single...

...maybe you should just ask her if she would like to hang out sometime to call you, and give her your number...then go from there, if she calls!

I have been a waitress several times, they get used to regulars, and like to talk alot to keep from working!

I would avoid flirting with her, unless you know she likes you...I always hated guys flirting, when I was not interested...then would get others to pick that table up for me!

...and when the people you do not want to wait on show up...you race to the hostess stand to seat them, or motion the hostess to place them in someone elses section! lol

Waitresses also remember how much customers tip and the one's who are annoying to wait on!

She either likes you, or not...better to know sooner than later!




[edit on 9/11/2008 by Givenmay]

i only tip hot waitresses.

call me shallow if ya want, but it's true.

Waitresses are hard to get. She's there to make money, not friends. The last thing on her mind is, "Oh my god, that guy's cute. I hope he asks me out. Hehe."

Ha, nope. It's more like, "My god, will guys ever learn?" :shk:

Think about it. Most good looking girls get hit on constantly and the hotter ones even more so. As a waitress, she's being hit on by multiple guys, at the same time, every hour. Endless pathetic attempts to claim what will never be theirs. Leaving business cards with wretched one liners on the back.

Most of my close friends are hot girls who work or have worked as bartenders or servers. I can speak from their experience and my own, you can't get a waitress if shes thinks you're hitting on her. Gotta be a little different my friend. Not like every other D-bag that walks in there like he owns the place.

The best thing to do, if you ask me, frequent her place of work. Ask to be in her section and tip her well when you leave, but not too much. Bring another girl with you sometimes. Try to go when she's not busy so you have a chance to talk to her more often. When you do talk to her, be funny, tease her a lot, tell her stories about some fun sh!t you've done recently. Tell her how you have big plans for later on in the evening.

Eventually, when you notice that she's opening up to you, like hugging you when you arrive at the place, asking you all the questions, sitting down with you to tell you about something personal, that's when you invite her out. But not on a date. Not yet. Tell her your going on one of your fun nights with some friends and ask if she wants to tag along. Good Stuff.

Good luck. Side note, Getting to know the manager and the bouncers, if it's a bar/club, is always a plus.

By the way, I love hitting on waitresses. I have a thing for 'em. I always end up dating bartenders and servers for some reason. Something about a woman serving people. I don't know really.

-Deveth

I wish to thank everyone who has replied to this. I only wanted to ask her to bowling as a platonic thing. Some of the things that was said in this topic has helped me out quite a bit. There was also another post on another forum on a different website that helped me out quite a bit. I haven't asked her to go bowling yet, I will wait until the best time to do so. Hope all is well with you all, take care and God bless.

Go for it dude,I was a young guy and was a commisioned rep,most of the people I went lunch with were my parents age,we used to frequent one restaurant and I was attracted to a few of the waitresses but as they were a few years older then me,I thought I didn't have a chance,a few years after I was married I ran into one of them,1st question she asked was"How come you never asked any of us out?" so see nothing ventured nothing gained,I could kick myself,and I'm sure there are plenty to offer to do it for me

reply to post by mrfreehugs

I want to ask her to go bowling with me, not as a date but as friends. If I did ask her, I would be sure to ask her to bring her friends, boyfriend or family with her if she wants. Now don't get me wrong, I would like to date her. I just feel safer with a friends relationship. Plus I appear to be really confident when I ask people if they want to hang out as friends somewhere instead of a date like setting. Should I ask her to go bowling with me, or should I not? Also do you think from the information I gave that she thinks of me as a business relationship only, or possible friend relationship?

I'm retired.
If you are wanting to go bowling with her to go bowling with her, don't go inviting her family tree and bed list along. it just defeats the purpose and truth and ultimately makes things more complicated for you (and her). If you are trying for a casual gathering and a bit of a comfortable 'get to', instead how about throw the idea out there of a 'we should get some people together and bowl' or even, 'would you like to go bowling with me sometime-I think your very neat'. Don't stumble yourself with all of the specifics of trying to downplay the situation for 'her comfort' with "just as friends, I'm not trying to hit on you, you can bring your boyfriend".

Or, you could try another boldly genuine take. "Look, (name), I'm really attracted to you, would you mind going out with me sometime, even just as friends-we could bowl, or sit and chatter someplace, but I really find you an endearing person and would just like the opportunity to get to know you better. Think about it and get back to me in a few days. It's ok if you say no-for whatever reason, you'll still be my top waitress, I won't hold it against you. I just wanted to let you know.

*?* sound feasable?
Just don't throw the menu at her feet and ask her to stand on it when she asks what you'd like to have today. (humor)

Dude, she completely recognized you in public, and then remembered to ask you about it when she saw you sitting there. She's probably interested in you.

Just ask her out. It's alot easier just being upfront, then trying to go the friends route. That way, you seem genuine from the get-go.

And, what is the worst that could happen? She say no? Oh well, less time and money wasted!

Um. Caution. I got that you were looking at a chance in hell at yes. Menu and price 'remembering' trains for customer reckognition. She remembered you and every old fogey (with respect) who preceeded you. She's likely been asked out 50 times that day by everything with a blank and a ego. Rethink if you would like her to add you to her list of unmentionable thoughts she thinks about you (them) as soon as you (you) walk out that door.

[edit on 2-1-2009 by HugmyRek]

I say go for it, what's the worst thing that could happen? Actually, she could poison your fajitas or something so be careful. I've dated a few waitresses and a few girls from coffee stands and they always gave me an in. Something like, "I was wondering when you were coming in again" or "I was actually just thinking about you" and then there were the two with the more direct approach, "When are you going to ask me out?". Her saying she saw you isn't necessarily a come on, but it sounds like you have a good shot. As long is she isn't way out of your league and you remembered to tip nice I again say go for it!

To the OP. Did you ever ask the waitress? If so how did it go?

I've always shied away from doing things like that when I was single, since I know most of the time waitresses, store clerks, bank tellers are supposed to act very nice, it can seem like they're interested in you. But I'm usually wrong about such things.

Please keep us posted.