Why Can't I Get A Girlfriend?? (Pictures)

Herman, you should ditch the guitar playing for wrestling.....

But really, that's pretty good advice man. Of course, you could just tell him to sit at a college cafeteria table and wait for the "hot blond' to come save him from lunch time blues.

No?....Guess it doesn't work for everybody. Maybe it's the Zen.

Everything you said would work in real life. Too bad it's easier said than done. I've seen cool as hell, smart, funny guys freeze up as soon as they approach a girl that they are really attracted to. Get cold feet. Butterflies in the stomach. Stumble for words, you know. We, as guys, just have trouble talking to women. It's quite intimidating, especially talking to really attractive girls. Unless, of course, you're a social genius. But even so, you're not born that way. It takes time.

To the OP:

Since we don't want to call it a game, herman , we won't call it practice, but you have to get out there and, if anything, at least do what Herman said. That's pretty sound advice he's spittin' out. Instead of practice, we'll call it Pirating......in honor of Herman's method. HAHA! So get out there and start pirating.......oh, almost forgot, "Don't forget to bring a towell" Courtesy of Towelly.

Originally posted by Givenmay

I have posted plenty of pictures that I took right down! lol

You didn't take 'em down. They burnt straight through the Desktop cause they were Flamin'

---Dev

I didn't say he was a liar, I said maybe, he might me a liar. With all the threads on ATS/BTS that say they have photos and then don't it wouldn't surprise me at all. It had nothing to do with the character of the OP. It was more of a statement about once again promised photos.

Personally I think he is in a rush when in comes to girlfriends. Sit back, relax, enjoy life and she will come. I was married twice before I was twenty, and neither of them worked out. The good guy didn't come along till I was 29. Don't panic, develop yourself into a fine human and then look for the woman.

Wrestling...hmm... That would sure make it a lot easier to capture one. I guess it is just the zen...but the zen seems to attract women that already have boyfriends. I guess I must be meditating wrong or something...better have that looked at.

But really, call it whatever you want. I really don't mind, I just personally prefer not to call it that. I don't mean to be stalking all of the relationship threads going "SHUT UP IT'S NOT A GAME!!! :bash: " The way I go about it really hasn't gotten me all that far...a lot of girls that I've talked to and decided not to pursue any further...a few that I've casually dated and rejected pretty quickly, and only one really serious relationship that didn't end well. But to me, it's worth the wait and the crap I've put up with to think that someday I will find that girl I've been looking for. It's not a path many choose to follow....it's the way of the Zen

[edit on 4-9-2008 by Herman]

SORRY GUYS!

Yeah image shack was having some crazy issues and I was kind of afraid putting my photos up just because.....well I'm probably black listed by the government. I can't seem to edit my original post but here are some of the photos.

Oh AND also I already play guitar and sing. I have recorded songs that were played locally.



Seriously why can't I edit my topic?

[edit on 4-9-2008 by SkepticalSteve]

Mod edit: removed photos at member request

[edit on 6-9-2008 by Duzey]

Originally posted by SkepticalSteve

Oh AND also I already play guitar and sing. I have recorded songs that were played locally.

Would you like those songs played on worldwide internet radio? Get with me...when you get a chance. Cutey...

Originally posted by Dirty Vegas

Originally posted by SkepticalSteve

Oh AND also I already play guitar and sing. I have recorded songs that were played locally.

Would you like those songs played on worldwide internet radio? Get with me...when you get a chance. Cutey...

Now that's what I'm talkin bout!!

Hey Steve,

I was just teasing you about the pictures as were others. I don't think your problem with the ladies has anything to do with your looks ,but you probably already knew that. In my experience I have always done best when not looking. Just be yourself and you shouldn't have any problems finding a girlfriend. Oh, and keep strumming... the ladies love it.

reply to post by Dirty Vegas


Thanks. Yeah I'll come on the radio show....does it include a candle lit dinner with you?

edit - yes...that was my attempt to spit game

[edit on 4-9-2008 by SkepticalSteve]

reply to post by Dirty Vegas


Oh, yeah play them on the radio....that would be cool. I thought you were inviting me on a show lol......now everyone will think I'm quite the narcissist.

reply to post by SkepticalSteve


Oh that second pic is just adorable!

...looking all shy with the red cheeks..cute!!

Originally posted by SkepticalSteve

Thanks. Yeah I'll come on the radio show....does it include a candle lit dinner with you?

edit - yes...that was my attempt to spit game



Oh, yeah play them on the radio....that would be cool. I thought you were inviting me on a show lol......now everyone will think I'm quite the narcissist.

Excellent. You don't have to "spit game" with me babe, you already have my attention.

I LOVE French food, (T'elle pas tout le monde?) so keep that in mind. he he...

You can do a show on my station if you want. First things first, let's get some songs. Make sure what you send is copyrighted by you. Send me 1 or 2 that are COMPLETE. Let me listen to them and then I will let you know exactly when I am going to play them. If you want to attract listeners you can post an announcement or something like that.

u2u me when your ready and we can exchange emails and such...

[edit on 9/5/0808 by Dirty Vegas]

I was the same way. In high school I was baffled that these sleezy guys would find girlfriends and I couldn't even strike up a conversation without getting the evil eye.

I was never bad looking, but I was pretty socially awkward. I had no ability to relate to girls. I also never had any interest in "hooking up" and like you, planned on waiting until I found the girl I wanted to marry before having sex.

It's much easier to talk to girls once you've been in a relationship. Which is sort of a catch-22. I often wonder what would have happened if I had the intergender communication skills I have now when I was say, 16. Maybe I would have had the courage to ask out the ones that I had crushes on. Certainly my life would be much different than it is now. But ultimately, I decide that I couldn't be in any better position than I am now. I have a great relationship with my wife, wonderful son with an undoubtedly beautiful daughter on the way, great job that I enjoy and pays the bills, etc.

My wife was the one that initiated the dating process. We both worked at a pizza joint, I was an in-store and she was a driver. She was seeing someone, but we started to become friends. I would go over to her place and watch movies with her and the boyfriend. She tried to hook me up with another girl at the shop, but that girl was secretly seeing another guy there. My future wife's boyfriend left her a note one day and took off never to be seen again. Her lease was up and she wanted to move into a smaller place since he wasn't around anymore. She asked me to come "watch her clean" and keep her company, which I thought was odd.

When I got there she started asking me all sorts of questions that made me extremely uncomfortable. I didn't pick up on any of her signals, and when I got home I told a friend where I was and he had to tell me "Dude, she LIKES you." So I gave it some thought and decided that I wouldn't mind dating her to see where it went. She called me over to her new place and we literally had a discussion about whether or not we wanted to date and what the terms would be, etc. Maybe that's normal, I don't know. I'll sum up and say that a year later we were married. Been married for 5.5 years now.

If it weren't for someone like her to come along and poke at me, I would probably still be single. What I hope you take away from this is that there IS the possibility that the right girl will find you. I would suggest you take matters into your own hands though and get out there. I used to think of girls as being on this unreachable conversational plane. Now I realize that they're not, they just have different dialects sometimes. =) My biggest problem was that I put too much pressure on myself to not look like an ass, which invariably made me look like an ass. If you run into a pretty girl, just remain calm and strike up a conversation. If you get far enough you can talk about interests and then eventually find a way to sneak a date in there to do something both of you like.

Others should feel free to contradict anything I said.

[edit on 5-9-2008 by an0maly33]

Just know there are women just as horny and desperate as yourself, just don't be afraid to speak to them, they wont bite, unless you want them.

reply to post by an0maly33


That was one of the coolest posts I ever read on here.

*crosses arms*

*scowls*

*taps foot*


...still waiting babe. Haven't heard anything, here or in private. Am I being iggy'd? I certainly hope not...

Well, you obviously have no problems as far as your looks are concerned. You've had some of your songs played on the local radio. That, right there, puts you in a better position than a lot of guys. In my opinion all you need is a little confidence in yourself. Know who you are. Know what you're good at, what you're not good at, what you like, etc. Be yourself and approach people as such. Nobody can give you your confidence, which is both a good thing and a bad thing depending on how you look at it.

reply to post by Dirty Vegas


Yum french food ain't bad at all!

Anyway what are you american? You look mixed something I'm guessing.

Alright bro I'll throw you a bone here because I really feel where you're coming from. I didn't have a lot of confidence in school because I was teased pretty relentlessly in elementary school.
Not because I was an odd kid or anything but because it was really easy to make me blush lol so (always girls) people would make fun of me to make me turn red and it took till probably the end of high school to get over my fear of ridicule. Even though I no longer had that problem, I was afraid it would happen again and avoided situations with girls that might put me in a position for it to take place. Anyway, I know how you feel.

Here's what you have to do. Firstly, stop over thinking. Even though society brands women as the ones who put priority on feelings and communication, they're not overly hard to connect with; even if you happen to say something stupid, you won't be so easily judged.

Second, work on your confidence and ways to express it. A great way of doing this is going to the gym and getting in at least decent shape. Get some white strips and whiten up your teeth, smile a lot in public, women are much more likely to approach you if you're smiling and giving off good vibes. Dress well, as in don't wear old stuff with holes in it or whatever, women like a nicely dressed dude. Don't skip out on personal hygiene, shave, smell good, take care of yourself and it will show.

Third, speak your mind. When I was overly shy, I always worried that I would say the wrong things and screw up so I barely said anything to girls to protect myself in that sense. Even if you don't have anything insightful or brilliant to say, anything is better than nothing; plus if something stupid comes out, laugh about it like you planned it that way.

Forth, under absolutely no circumstances do you take advice on women, from women; ever. They have less than zero idea what they want and taking their advice will totally ruin any chance you have in the real world. The key to getting a girl to like you is really quite cold.. don't care so much, don't give them too much attention, don't be a yes man, never say you're sorry, etc. Women like to be ignored a bit, that's just the way it is. Success is based on how well you can maintain the balance of attention:neglect. Even if you're available and dating one girl, act as though if she were gone another would instantly take her place.

Finally, find a practice girl to get your confidence up since you're coming off a 4 year dry spell. Someone you really don't care at all about to bounce your game off of and see what works. Also if you're not willing to have sex, chances are you won't have much of a selection, women demand sex as much as men. I've never dated a girl that didn't want to have sex after a week or two.

Dont look for your soul mate in every single person you date. You need long term practice to get good enough at what you're doing to be able to snag a keeper. Plus you're back to over thinking every situation if that's what you're doing with each girl.

Beer to you sir!

reply to post by ANoNyMiKE

The key to getting a girl to like you is really quite cold.. don't care so much, don't give them too much attention, don't be a yes man, never say you're sorry, etc. Women like to be ignored a bit, that's just the way it is. Success is based on how well you can maintain the balance of attention:neglect. Even if you're available and dating one girl, act as though if she were gone another would instantly take her place.

I agree with most of what you said, but this part...?

I think one key is to not come off as someone who is overly vulnerable. If you're always sulking or in a bad mood, that can be interpreted as weakness and a turn-off. MiKE pretty much covered that with the confidence thing though.

SkepticalSteve: Glad you liked it. =)

Originally posted by _Phoenix_
reply to post by Dirty Vegas

 

Yum french food ain't bad at all!

Anyway what are you american? You look mixed something I'm guessing.

You implying I'm a MUTT puh-hone-ix? lol

Et si vous aimez l'agroalimentaire francais, vous, et je vais le long amende.

[edit on 9/8/0808 by Dirty Vegas]