Women, Sex and Marriage

I think married men should be entitled to a mistress(or two).That way everyone is happy and its out in the open.I think eventually society will realise what a sham marriage is and even further on monogamous relationships will be a thing of the past.

So the same rule should apply to the wife right?
If not satisfied at home go elsewhere?
Heck why not try the swinger lifestyle?
Heck, why get married at all.
If sex is your only priority, eliminate the relationship ball and chain.

reply to post by AccessDenied


Nah ill stick to the male chauvinist line here.
However in all seriousness i guesstimate that 90% of people in a relationship cheat on their partner in one way or another.Now you watch all the people lying to themselves spit out with righteous indignation how they never have/will cheat on there significant other.

reply to post by Azador


I'm at the point now where I ponder just going out and getting me a bit on the side.... But why should I ? That doesn't solve anything and never has for anyone.

I'll leave him before I cheat on him. You either work it out or leave, they are the only options in my world.

*hands Az a club and a map to his cave* lol

reply to post by ImJaded


Guess who'll be the first lady ill be clubbing and dragging back to my cave:bash:
Now dont get me wrong id love to find the right woman and live happily ever after, but with my jaded view on life and from what ive seen, i will not be holding my breath.

reply to post by ImJaded


If you decide that my address is 342...



Cheating isn't the answer, communication is. In a relationship couples must communicate their needs and desires to the other person. If that communication breaks down then problems build.

Don't interrogate either. Talk frankly openly and honestly. Don't be offended and don't accuse. Be honest about what you need and ask what they need. This fixes a lot of problems before they go too far.

Guys hate the "can we talk" it doesn't work like that. That translates in our guy minds as "I'm going to yell at you" and no one likes to be yelled at. Just start talking. Ask simple questions at first. If your a lady and not getting enough of the good stuff, try flirting. Maybe some wine or beer, look over at your guy and say to him "hey there big boy "

If he refuses the pass, ask why? Is he not feeling well, is he stressed about his job? Is he bored?

The same for men, if your not getting any from your lady, the reason probably is that your not stimulating the largest erogenous zone in a woman. This is a ladies brain. The way to the "hoo hah" is through the neo cortex. Stimulate a woman's brain with thoughtful gestures, gifts, romance, and love and she will want to turn on the 70s pron music for you and get busy.

reply to post by whatukno


I think you are confusing brain with ego

The same for men, if your not getting any from your lady, the reason probably is that your not stimulating the largest erogenous zone in a woman. This is a ladies brain. The way to the "hoo hah" is through the neo cortex. Stimulate a woman's brain with thoughtful gestures, gifts, romance, and love and she will want to turn on the 70s pron music for you and get busy.

LMAO. It's true. You need to come over to my Women's Restroom thread and bring your soapbox with ya.. K ? I love it.

See WUK? You are are the Ladies Man of BTS for a reason. This is why we voted for him guys! You can learn something...

Yes, but I saw his pic so I think there is another reason as well. You hot wuk! ( Don't worry, I am too old for ya, and happily married)

That's why I wont get married till I'm in my 40s or so and ready to settle down...

I'm honest with myself, that's all and I think more people would be happier if they were too. Plain and simple, I want to have more than one intimate relationship in my lifetime, I don't see anything wrong with that.

Too many people have been brainwashed by "Christian culture" in America (Canada too) into believing you're only supposed to have one partner in life and this person should be the first and last person you have sex with. Frankly, that sounds incredibly boring!

reply to post by sc2099



Very well stated. I agree with a lot of what you say. I have been married for 25 years. We did not live together nor have sex before we married. After all this time, we still have great sex. We talk to each other a lot, just about everything. Sure there have been down times in our marriage, mostly due to illness. We saw each other through these times.

I would also add that I think too many couples rush into having children early on in their relationship. Couples need time for themselves before having children.

It is extremely important for each spouse, or significant other, to make the other person feel they are the most important person in their life.

The one I never really believed though, was the assertion that sex ends with marriage - until I got married!

I know there are some pretty smart and aware ladies on these boards, so could one of you please explain why marriage kills a woman's sexual desire for her husband?

Not a lady myself, but I can chime in and say that yeah, it does seem the wife's drive goes way down once that ring is on their finger.... Not only that, but when they ARE in the mood, it's like late at night, when you're too damn tired to be interested in it... I mean, what the hell? Really? Why couldn't the mood have struck an hour ago when watching that lame ass American Idol or something?

For the men: is this the main reason/excuse a man would consider taking a mistress?

Absolutely. Though, I'd like to believe that I will stay faithful to my wife. If it ever gets to a point where that's it, then the better answer is to dissolve the marriage and start honestly with the new woman....rather than betray someone. If it's over, let it be over...

If a wife becomes disinterested in sex but the husband still has full desire, should the wife accept that a mistress is a logical and necessary solution?

No, cheating is cheating. The wife should instead try and find out why the drive is so diminished (there are a TON of medical reasons for this, in addition to psychological)....or risk losing her man to a woman who will give him the attention he is looking for.

If your relationship or marriage is purely based on sex it won't last.

Sure when you meet you have sex more often but then life happens when you get married.

I know many married couples with healthy sex lives.

reply to post by Gazrok


I watched an amazing documentary on the Discovery channel, called "Why is Sex fun?" The documentary takes an interesting turn, in that the female orgasm of a woman who is passionately in love with her man, could lead to a bonding that is nearly indestructible. curiosity.discovery.com...

They are not suggesting that woman who don't orgasm don't passionately love their man, just that the clinical trials and research has shown that the women who do, has shown a greater bond with their man. You would have to watch it to fully understand.

The problem is simple, the answer not so much. Sex is a biological instinct and really has very little to do with an emotional issue. Example most of us love our parents and children but don't want to have sex with them. Next men are not biologically made to be monogamous, the major reason we have become that way is because of the religious institutions telling us that marriage is the only morally acceptable way to not only have a family, but in some cases to have sex at all. This all being said if you are told a lie long enough it becomes accepted truth. Think about the reason given for marriage and take the word love out and put the word commitment in its place for most people marriage is about personal security be it financial, emotional, or physical.

reply to post by Bullcookies



Not in my marriage, buddy. There is plenty of emotion involving sex. My husband and I love each other very deeply and have for 25 years.

"We love our parents and don't want to have sex with them." Most men and women find a significant other they want to have sex with, they even love that person. So, which is it? Love or no love? You stated that sex is a biological instinct with little to do with emotion.

reply to post by aero56


My wife and I love each other very much, and no shortage of her "being taken care of" in that way. It's just that it certainly isn't near as often as it was when we were just seeing each other...

Of course, until recently (we both just got our Masters), we were both in school each week and working 40+ hrs a week to boot, so still coming off that exhaustion I guess.

reply to post by Azador


Here is mine, I have never cheated on my spouse. Twenty five years strong and going.