Moral Problem

Well it all began when i began to idolize the fabulous lifestyle of celebrities and being somewhat attractive but rather nerdy i thought it could give me a boost in self confidence and the attention and popularity i so desperatly craved in school. I hesitantly approached my mother about my aspirations concerned over whether or not she would approve, ultimately i decided that if such was my goal she would eventually discover it anyways so why not. She started off in a speach about giving 100% but later on expressed her doubts and even made me feel doubtful about my chances of success. In the end she basically said you dont really have much of a chance and no you shouldnt move to cali now you should finish school. To which i retorted that to even get good headway in this business one has to start as quickly as possible, but still she persisted. Please can someone give me some advice I just feel like noone is supporting my dreams, and it is very deppressing.

Have you ever seen the film, The Astronaut Farmer. Starring Billy Bob Thorton? If you have not, go rent it... Watch it, and witness what builds within your heart.

The Astronaut Farmer Trailer


Everyone told this man that he could not do what his heart told him to do. Even the authorities got involved. People started calling him a nut, his family doubted him, things started to spin out of control.

He listened to his heart, and followed his dream. Even if dreams do not manifest, at least you can say you gave it your best. Besides it's the journey that matters, not the destination. If you reach it, all the better.

Let me ask you this:

Who is it up to create this reality from the vision that you have?

Repeat after me:

If it's to be... It's up to me!

Say it again:

If it's to be... It's up to me!

and again:

(((If it's to be... It's up to me!)))

How committed are you to reaching your dream of making it big in Hollywood?

You don't have to answer that here, but ask yourself that question.

Then after you answer that question

Here is another one:

What are you willing to risk to make that dream become reality?

reply to post by Mysteri


This is a very difficult situation to be in I bet. Obviously the opinion and approval of your mother is very important to you by the way you describe your situation. On the other hand you have your own goals that you want to accomplish which is very understandable.

I would say this, if you want to go ahead with your plan do so in a responsible way, do your research (assuming you havent done so) check what it takes to reach your goal and plan accordingly. Plan to have a job once you reach your destination L.A., N.Y., check apartment rates, transportation rates, to summarize... just lay out a plan that would give your family some confidence to the fact that you would be ok while you pursue your dream or career. Also a well thoughtout plan would lessen the chances of you having economic pitfalls that would ultimately could hurt your main goal.

If you present your plan to your family and they still dont agree with it, then the issue would become...should I do it or not? To this I would say that your family although they might not approve your decision I dont think they would stop loving you because of the choice you made, overtime the wounds heal and if you show them that you are being responsible they might get comfortable with the situation and at the end is more likely that they would end up supporting you.

Finally, have plan A, plan B, plan C or as many plans you think you would need to deal with any situations, just because you want to pursue a career in something dont mean that is going to materialize, the fact is that life is not fair and even the most hardworking and focus individual dont achieve the goals that they have set up for themselves. Bottom line...know when to cut your losses... give it a shoot so you would not live regreting that you did not even try and hopefully you would succeed...BUT if after trying your hardest you realize that no doors have open your way then you should move on to your next dream or what I call Plan B.

Wish you the best....GOOD LUCK!!



[edit on 21-8-2008 by Bunch]

Sweetie, please know that this isn't about Mom not supporting your dreams. Mom's just trying to protect your future. And she's right to the extent that the chances of succeeding in showbiz are not good. This says nothing about your talent or your looks or your determination. Rather this is about the math: There just aren't enough jobs in showbiz for everyone who wants those jobs.

I have a little bit of experience here, as my daughter had the same aspirations, which we pursued locally, before moving to LA or NY. She has had some success, and has enjoyed it for the most part. But it's not an easy way to make a living. She probably only got 1 job for every three or four auditions. Usually, preparation and traveling to and from the audition took three times as long as the actual audition (for which you don't get paid). My daughter is very pretty and talented, but so were all the other girls that auditioned, so that wasn't the deciding factor; sometimes she just didn't have the "right look."

I would strongly suggest that you do what you can where you are right now. Take drama and/or other performing arts classes in school. Find books with monologues and practice your delivery. Create your own commercials and perform them. Join a local community playhouse. Get as much training and experience under your belt as you can, thus preparing yourself for that time when you can further pursue your dream. The more you know, the more confident you will be, and the greater your talents will shine.

Experiment with your hair and makeup and clothes. Explore different looks and styles. Think about how you would prepare yourself for a sports commercial, horror movie, kid next door, etc. Then try it out. Take pictures. Live (act) the part.

Also, check out local talent agencies. The Better Business Bureau has some good advice for what to look for and expect from a reputable talent agent. Find one that will not just send you on cattle calls, but will set up specific appointments for your auditions. Establish your boundaries - no nudity, for example. I would suggest that you have your mother or another close friend/family member, accompany you everywhere you go for safety sake; if the agent will not allow this, find another agent.

You might also check out peripheral occupations - do you love styling hair? How 'bout makeup? Do you enjoy the technical aspects (filming, lighting, etc.)? Educating yourself about the other aspects of showbiz can only help you if/when you do get jobs. You might also find that you enjoy one of those supporting jobs equally well.

If it's meant to be, it will happen. Spend your time and energy preparing for that day. And be thankful that you have a mom who loves you and is looking out for your best interests. Frustrating sometimes, I know, but so much better than the alternative, right?