First of all I'd like to say the following two things:
- The title of my new started thread, this one, don't take it too serious, I realize it sounds kinda slutish (if that word exists), it is far from
being meant that way!
- 4000 characters is TOO LITTLE for all the things I'd like to write right now..
---
Today the day started with a funeral. A funeral of a good friend of mine who passed away being only 42 years old. He was not sick, his passing away
was way beyond unexpected. Jorgen, I 'loved' you, you were a very good listener.. I will mis that very very much.
After the funeral, most people who attended came to have a drink at one of my most favorite places to have a drink at. It was a sad but simpathetic
atmosphere, most tension was released.. Sadness was relieved.
snip
However..
I treated myself on a vodka today,
snip It felt good, it wakened instipartion to write, write some of my 'mind spins' on here.
I was unexpected invited to go to a dinner with a few people who attended the funeral, it was a nice intimite comming together, I should do such
things more often and spontanious!
Fot a while now I have been somekind of interested in a guy I do not know too well, I had the guts to exchange phone numbers
Lets see where that
might end, grins, or not ofcourse.. Wish me luck, LoL.
On the other hand for the passed few weeks I have a lot of attention of 'less intersting' guys. I keep on recieving compliments on my looks,
behaviours and so on. Real (nice?) flirts.
I have to admit it would be nice to meet someone again to have a something more then a flirt ( I even dare to use the word: relationship) with.
Questions raise: is it me that is too critical (on those guys)? Do I have too many expectations? Am I or are they worth it? And so on.
You know, it is nice to be appreciated, but how serious are those guys? Do I give them a chance, should I give them a chance?
Am I really that frustrated according to have or being in a relationship? Am I really that happy being single right now? So many questions raise.
Should I loosen up, should they leave me in peace? Should I just give every guy a try, and see who 'suits' best? Am I sexually frustrated by
masturbating every now and then (refering to the: Is masturbation a sin? thread).
Grins.. are 4000 characters plenty??
For now it seems plenty.
I just felt like writing some of these thoughts anonimous in public..
And hey! I am looking for a good time too. Just, somehow somewhere I'd love to meet someone that is 'gonna' last a little more serious and a little
more longer then the relationships I've had before.
What is it exactelt I expect at this moment in (my) life..? Will it always be questioned (by myself)? Do I have a certain goal? If so, how can I give
it more shape..?
Am I happy with my job (I keep on telling myself it is the nicest and best paid job I ever had). Is it just the money I make that makes me think that
way?
If I made different choices in my life before, untill now, would I have less of these questions, would I feel more ' happy and satisfied'? Am I
really that unhappy and not satisfied?
Should I turn to some religion to solve this feeling? (Bla bull#!) They tried to make me read the bible and so on to
snip, but I discovered I
don't need the 'power' of the bible to be able to
snip!
I am strong enough. Am I really strong enough?
Will I die too young too..?
Dear Jorgen, Dear Rene, both of you didn't deserve to leave us to the ' here after'! It scares me a bit that within the last 3 months two people in
my near surroundings died very very unexpected..
Love, Peace and Soul on a Roll..!
Sincerely,
Me.
Mod edit: Please review this link - UPDATE: The Discussion Of "Illegal Activity" On The
Above Network Sites (ATS, BTS, AP).
[edit on 17-8-2008 by Duzey]