Redneck Home Security System

1) go to second-hand store and get some 14-16 size work boots
2) Place them on the front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of guns and ammo and several nra magazines.
3) Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4)leave a note on the door," hey Bubba, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammo, back in a half hour. Don't mess with the pitbulls, they attacked the mailman this morning and messeed him up good. I don't think KILLER took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blod

P.S. I locked I locked all four of em in the house
Better wait outside.

(source a email from a friend)

You forgot to add a length of 1" chain wrapped around the trunk of a tree with a broken link on the end leading to that food bowl.

Funny! I wounder if I posted my redneck baby pics?