How come a lot of people have relationship problems?

I'm not talking like male-female intimate relationships. But like you know so many people have relationship problems with their guy friends or their girl friends whom they aren't even dating. There are times when they even start controversy for the fun of it. What I don't understand is how people can have problems with people that they hang out with. Like, I guess it has to do with honesty and respect, and that some people have been brought up differently than others so they have their differences... but what makes little sense to me is why people that aren't even intimate with each other have conflict. Why is that so? I don't usually have conflict with people in my life. Why do so many people have a lot of conflict to worry about with theirs?

Everyone is different. Everyone has good traits (i.e being considerate, forgiving, friendly, outgoing). Everyone has bad traits (i.e being flaky, manipulative, mean, annoying). And when people interact, they are forced to deal with both the good and the bad traits of other people. Some people just can't tolerate other peoples' bad traits which leads to resentment which leads to confrontation which leads to conflict.

A lot of conflict stems from insecurity. Some people feel the need to treat others poorly or talk about others behind their backs to make themselves feel better. From what I've experienced, a LOT of conflict comes from people talking smack about other people, that person finding out about it, you know the drill.

I hope you know that you can be intimate with someone who's not a significant other. You can put your trust into a friend, and they can easily abuse your trust.

And like you said, some people just start stuff because they have nothing else to do and want something to talk about. I've actually met people like that. It's kind of sad, but it's a sign of immaturity and eventually they'll grow out of it.

And if you don't often get into conflict with people, good for you! I wish I could say the same....

If I'm bothered by one of my friends to the point where I don't want to hang out with them anymore, I just don't. I never fight with them, I just allow the relationship to slowly fade. Sometimes, after a little while, I'll start hanging out with them again and the cycle can repeat. Maybe it's because I'm generally not the type of person who needs to be around people all the time. I'm pretty content being by myself if that's what it comes down to. Thankfully, though, I've got some pretty good friends at the moment and haven't had to do the whole "lone wolf" thing in a while.

Everyone has conflict with people and in some cases it is even healthy for that to happen. I dont know about you guys but if I havnt had conflict with my friends in the past I probably wouldnt be friends with them any more. In some cases it can be what drives a relationship forward.
But really, you cant go and expect people who are just friends not to fight.

Just my 2c lol

If everyone had the same views and agreed on everything then there would be no conflict and people wouldn't have problems. The fact is, everyone has a mind of their own, everyone has their own opinion, it is their choice to either say what is on their mind (and have potential conflict with others) or to not (and not have conflict). To the OP, do you tend to say what is on your mind to other people even if they don't have the same views as you?

I'm going to give you guys a gift here. I'm going to give you the other side of the fence. You want to know why good friends get into problems?

It's because of people like me.

People like me thrive on 'pot stirring' we love to push boundaries, not only in our jobs or at our schools, but also with our friends and families. We get off on doing outrageous things, saying or doing shocking things, especially to people we haven't learned to trust yet. It's something ingrained, it's intrinsic. We don't even realize we're doing it until it's done.

If we are men, we'll get into fist fights with our best friends, if we are female, we will splinter our group and single someone out. We can recognize each other instantly, and we will do our work independently, ignoring our brethren and their diabolical schemes to concentrate on our own.

The reasons are pretty basic ... I mean they're simple. We like to gauge reactions ... It's how we learn. We get curious about how a person will react to a given stimulus, so we provide that stimulus ... Then we file their reaction, and move on.

It's nothing personal ... It's just what we do. We are legion, for we are many.