Ten Golden Rules for Conspiracy Theorists. Attention Class.

**Please note: The following is only the opinion of the author. Following these guidelines is a choice made by the reader. Comedic intent is acknowledged.**

Here are the top ten rules to consider in becoming a healthy, credible, contribution to the world of Conspiracy Theorists (CT’s). Without further ado….

1. Take nothing at face value.

This is what novice theorists do best. By definition you must be skeptic of everything around you. You must see the possibility of ulterior motives, hidden messages, evil, or corruption in your world. This is the moment in your life that you have strayed from the herd and decided to leave the comfort of your fellow sheep. Once you have accepted this burden……

2. Forget what you believe.

If you have a closed mind to subjects, you will miss out on much this world has to offer. If you cannot admit to the possibility that you are wrong on all counts, you may find yourself on the smelly side of the fence. Your religion, your ideals, your REALITY are all things that are liquid, and they can adapt if you are willing to allow them to seek truth. We are all quite far from the truth, and leaving your objectivity behind will certainly be your end. Once you have stepped into the unknown…..

3. Gather Evidence.

Ah, we are a jaded bunch. Stories still interest us, but they remain simple, unimpressive stories. Get everything you can together as ammo against the masses and you may come out a winner. Saw bigfoot? Well even if you didn’t get a good shot, you better find some hair samples or tracks and have them analyzed by your biological sciences friends… Don’t have scientist friends? Hmm, make some. Ok, so you have a document that proves that your brother got taken away by a reptilian to Dulce? Not so fast, Johnny, now you have to……

4. Do your research.

A naïve or ignorant CT will seem like a looney tune to the masses. If you don’t have a retort or back-up plan to all the arguments you will come in contact with, you will go down in disappointing flames. If you are not truly impressed with the evidence you’re providing, chances are most other people won’t be either. So you’ve done your homework kiddo? Alright, well now you have to….

5. Prepare your argument.

Prepare to be torn apart on your first few encounters. These scars will serve as a reminder that other people have an opinion too, and some are pretty well thought-out. Once you see the capability of your potential adversaries, you will want to predict their moves and account for them early. This will give you some more time in case you find that they are surprised that you actually said something intelligent! Even the best evidence can be ruined by a poor use of words. Mapped out a strategy?....

6. Present your case.

You’ve done good work. You don’t want to ruin it by acting like a prideful dork, so present your case in a manner that befits someone who isn’t crazy. Just because you’ve done a good job, doesn’t mean people won’t resent you for rubbing it in their faces. Ok, so you just bought yourself a few willing listeners……

7. Simma Da Na

Calm yourself down. Running into a room yelling, “OMG I JUSS SAW THAT OSAMA BIN LADIN IS A SPACE ALIEN!!” won’t help your case. This is another way a good CT can shoot themselves in the foot, by acting like everyone must hear their case NOW! Yelling, wide-eyed, gibbering tools are the people who make us all look like goons. Ever hear, “Oh you’re one of thoooose?” Well over-anxiousness is what causes people to say that. You must be above that nonsense, and act like you are a normal person who just so happens to have some info that you are making others privy to. Ok, have you taken your chill pill? Now…..

8. Let it settle.

You just presented your case in a sane way. Let people sleep on it. You can’t expect a someone who is inundated with the MSM on a daily basis to be able to swallow the truth all at once. This is YEARS of inoculation that you are trying to strip away. It may take many doses to reverse the affects of the kool-aid. Don’t do it all at once. You’ve given someone a gift! Now……

9. Prepare to have it thrown back in your face.

These are the people who you will never get to. They are the prideful, faith-based, close-minded people you have worked hard not to be. Don’t let it get to you. There are other people who are ready to wake up and smell the thermite, and you’ll get your chance with them. Don’t be resentful of people who don’t understand. Happiness is relative, and some people are blissfully ignorant. Good for them. Have you wiped the shame from your eyes?......

10. Continue the movement.

You will get sick of all the speculation. Take breaks, no mind is meant to continually deal with the onslaught of information you have subjected yourself to. Go out with a few friends, have a few beers, and forget the movement for a couple days. Its ok to rejoin the herd for some R&R now and then. But don’t forget, you have accepted a challenge and you must see it through. Are these interesting times? Prove it!

So there’s my take on being a good member of the society. Please add to what I’ve said of argue my points. I look forward to see what you think!

11. Study, in depth, how the human brain actually functions.

Psychology is an important topic. As are its predecessors, offspring, and mutations. When you learn how the brain works, you begin to understand why people are the way they are, and you can learn how elements of reality really work. A lot of your research, coupled with an understanding of the human brain, will give you clarity into more than you would expect...



you pointed out some good things here. While I do not consider myself a conspiracy theorist, I do enjoy doing a lot of research on everything. A byproduct of being curious, I suppose. way to go

Great addition iinvision!

Knowing the different types of grey matter will help you tailor your arguments to each individual. I like this one, for sure.

Thanks a lot!

Some great work here Mr SantaClaus. Starred and Flag. I do already follow some of these guidelines in what I believe in.

I guess us older persons here already know these. Thank you for giving the younger crowd something to go by.

reply to post by kidflash2008


Well I thought the neverending stream of thoughtless posts was getting a bit monotonous.

I only ask for something with some a decent thought process behind it.

Sorry to keep bumping this but I had to add one more....

12. Learn how to type like an adult.

All 2 often we R subjected to long walls of words with kno apparent punctution, horrible IM short-tipe and know paragraf brakes WHAT RU thinking? Du U think its gud on are I's 2 see this nonsense? Man LOL I wish ppl wud stop acting like children and learn how to converse like an adult. It makes you look silly, and in turn, less credible.

Originally posted by iiinvision
11. Study, in depth, how the human brain actually functions.

Psychology is an important topic. As are its predecessors, offspring, and mutations. When you learn how the brain works, you begin to understand why people are the way they are, and you can learn how elements of reality really work. A lot of your research, coupled with an understanding of the human brain, will give you clarity into more than you would expect...



you pointed out some good things here. While I do not consider myself a conspiracy theorist, I do enjoy doing a lot of research on everything. A byproduct of being curious, I suppose. way to go

You are so right! There is a lot of truth to the old adage , "Know thy self".

As a mystic I always say, that if you don't understand how the human mind works, how can you begin to understand how the mind of God works?

If you deal with anything paranormal, its important to have a good check on your own psychological habits and dispositions because they will definitely effect how you interpret phenomena.

Whether you are a skeptic or a believer, understanding your own psychology and why you are a skeptic or believer is key.

reply to post by SantaClaus


Very good guidelines indeed. Number 12 especially sticks out considering some recent posts scattered about that I have TRIED to read.

Which is why I am surprised that this thread dies so readily. To me, during a season of such ludicrous posts, this thread (amongst many many others) should serve as a barrier against the slop. However, I can see it does nothing.

I know there have been many threads like this and I actually appreciate this thread being allowed to live.

However, I promise, this will be my last post on the thread. I feel like this has been the one I've over-bumped for the wrong reasons.

There is no perfect world, and the 8 year olds will continue posting. So it is our job as responsible members to just forget it. I made the mistake of trying to make these kids understand, and only fueled their fire.

We are very bad at letting the "good" die young. And by "young" I mean "too good."

I know what you mean, but it's the nature of this beast! My contribution is to point out
that the "who is the skeptic" question, looms in the area of NASA UFO videos. The official superstar "skeptic', Jim Oberg, is an example of a NASA defender of all "current conventional wisdom" put out by NASA. And those of us who think NASA is feeding us bull, well, WE are the skeptics! I am NASA's biggest skeptic. I am not a conspiracy theorist!.... Martyn Stubbs