Does having children make you happy?

I was reading this article and I'm shocked. I know that at the end they state that they're happy with their kids, but hey you already subconsciously introduced the information into their brain!

Does having children make you happy?

The most recent comprehensive study on the emotional state of those with kids shows us that the term "bundle of joy" may not be the most accurate way to describe our offspring. "Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers," says Florida State University's Robin Simon, a sociology professor who's conducted several recent parenting studies, the most thorough of which came out in 2005 and looked at data gathered from 13,000 Americans by the National Survey of Families and Households. "In fact, no group of parents—married, single, step or even empty nest—reported significantly greater emotional well-being than people who never had children. It's such a counterintuitive finding because we have these cultural beliefs that children are the key to happiness and a healthy life, and they're not."

You know, I have been seeing this all over the place. The "do not have kids" campaign. I have seen that "smart" people don't procreate. I don't get it... I for my part will have kids and I want to teach them what I know and what I think is the "right" way of life. This is also called common sense. Any way, any body else has seen this type of propaganda?

Well, I can't comment too much on this, being as I'm now single without kids, but I can tell you that I am looking very much forward to having children one day.

One son and one daughter preferably. Just gotta find me the right woman.

reply to post by bigbert81


I couldn't agree more. I currently am without children but am seeing someone. I can't wait to have kids one day, but only when I am ready. Maybe a majority of the people in this study that have kids weren't ready to have them.

I can't wait to have a little me around to take care of and raise. Children are so precious and innocent. How could a little one not make someone happy?

The thing that worries me is that I have seen that most of my friends, which I see that they're really into the materialistic type of life don't want kids or think it's not a good idea economically. I believe that they're feeding this type of propaganda into out brains through the mass media and through social acceptance.

My current girl friend and maybe future wife is scared of having children and also sees that that she might not be able to do what she wants. I in the other hand see it as an opportunity to nurture and teach someone what the real world is like and how to think for themselves as how my mother did to me. I'm having a hard time showing this to my girlfriend and she's hesitant to understand and comprehend what most of us in this forum see in the world around us.

We're being controlled the less of us out there to control the easier it's going to be.

My sisters preggers and shes thrilled and happy. My parents say were the best and theyre proud of us.

Maybe this is just another ad campaign to slow the population below what they can control with their advertising.

I don't think whoevers running things likes us very much. That's why Im


sarc

Well, it's all loopy now... because in the past, a kid just meant you had to look out for them and teach them and provide for them... but guess who does that now, for the most part?

Corporate America... and they charge you up the ass and make you feel guilty and even penalize you if you may want to be free and decide that IT is not included. What does IT do?

Sucks all your time away by making you have to work more, then brainwashes your kids while you aren't around so they are super need machines ripe for production of that corporate profit.... and so they brainwash the kids into little zombie needy jergoff asshats, and then you come home every night to deal with MORE CRAP from the school, the state, and the corporate brainwashing machine through the medium of your kids.

They use your kids to grip an iron hand around your soul and squeeze, and it's not you or your kids' fault. Don't blame misery on children. Look how happy and carefree they are! How can that be misery?

The only thing creating the misery of childhood is... once again.... well... Corporate Earth, really... not just America.

I'd like to have a kid someday and teach him how not to become a battery powering the elite greed, death, and misery machine.

I admit it...

I'm selfish. My freedom is much more important to me than the alleged pleasure of having kids. I don't feel the need to control or leave a legacy.
Go out on the street, look at the young people and kids. Is that what you want? Todays culture is almost as influential as parenting and that is by design.

I divorced a sweet, young, beautiful woman that wanted kids. Now 20yrs.
later, she has confided in me that I was right and made the right decision not to have kids as hers' with another man, have given her nothing but heart ache and pain.

It's a brave new world, welcome to the monkey house!!

WHOA DUDE!!!! Sorry off topic but I just got this massive deja vu...and it's still going.... and I feel like I've commented with this exact same post at least a few times before. Ever feel that way???

staying on topic from now on, but it's so weird!

I have six children. Four girls and two boys and they are a bundle of joy. They amaze me on how different each one is. If I could go back in time and choose to not have them, I'd destroy the time machine. It makes me wonder if the families they interviewed were families that shouldn't have kids or ones who can't afford them the way they need too. It's hard work and frustrating sometimes but I couldn't live without my children now. I love all my dino's jumping on me when I get home from work and telling me they love me and how their day went. I'm very happy.

I have kids and from what ive learned from my own experiences is like ALL things in life they make you happy and sad.Cutting out one particular thing doesn't necessarily mean you will have more or less happiness or sadness.

Bundles of joy turns into heaps of hell.

I started out living the dream marriage then children but my prince turned into punch. So hello single motherhood.

Second attempt at marriage bliss again turned into blah.

So for 17 years I have been a single mom raising 3 boys. The caring dads where off living high on life while I devoted myself to my kids.

It was hell. I must of had 2 nervous breakdowns due to the stress.

Only a man would say kids are great can't wait to have them. You guys get the out when things go wrong.

The courts only tell you to pay for them but they can't make you care for them.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but this is reality. I know not all men ignore their kids but the two I have do and from the stats on single moms I think more do then don't.

My happy ending is surviving my kids. They are great young men now, their values strong. I have raised 3 great boys (husbands, I hope). But I have sacrificed my life for them. I will not seek companionship for the rest of my days, I don't trust men.

[edit on 2/7/08 by Rhain]

I wanted to have kids. Now that I have them, I've dealt with suicidal thoughts almost nonstop for 11 years now. They are the reason I'm depressed, but there isn't anything I can do about it now

Originally posted by Rhain

Only a man would say kids are great can't wait to have them. You guys get the out when things go wrong.

The courts only tell you to pay for them but they can't make you care for them.

[edit on 2/7/08 by Rhain]

Sorry, but I have to disagree with you here. I think your argument is selfish to the point of being disgusting. To say that you regret having your kids is awful.
For one, I just helped my cousin gain custody of his little girl because the mom was the one who wanted to get out. And second, if I split in a marriage, I would want to keep my kids instead of my wife. It is often the wife that fights heavily for the custody of the kids. I sat through a whole day in divorce court and that is how it seems to work.
The woman fights for exclusive rights to her kids and then complains that the father isn't there.
And in all the cases I saw that day, the dads were sorely disappointed to lose custody.

[edit on 7/2/2008 by Mad_Hatter]

WOW...

That's some harsh stuff I have read. My mother raised me by her own, but I feel compelled to help her now in any way possible. She's my family and I protect her and since she did so much for me I want her to be happy. She did suffer that I know but now it's my turn to be grateful.

One thing I did learn is not to be like my father and to protect and serve my family. The problem I see is that they have distorted our lives to the extent that they mesh up scenarios and rise thoughts in our heads to make the family nucleus destroy it's self.

We're easily swayed to disintegrate what a strong family is by cliches and stereo types like the dumb father figure and the super mom. Men aren't dumb and women aren't supposed to do all the work. Unity will make a family and community strong. Divide and conquer.

Materialism makes kids, husbands and wives want more and more. I do agree in the work hard and get what you deserve mentality, but at what cost? I have learned this and I'm trying to find a change. My search of balance has driven me to this. I live for the perfect balance and I want to accomplish and share.

Any way, that's my opinion.

My daughter is the most precious thing in the world to me. I've never once felt even the slightest bit sad or disappointed to have her around, and I wouldn't go back to my former single, childless self for anything in the world. My wife and I just found out she is pregnant again last week and I couldn't be more excited.

I would die for my daughter without hesitation and that's something I never thought I could feel.

Well my wife and I never planned to have achild but after my daughter was born I have found purpose in life, I get more done, feel happy to have someone to care about and it brought us together more.

I couldnt recommend it more.

peace.

Children, to me, are sort of like trying to get a gold medal in the Olympics: you’ve got to put a lot of time and sweat and pain into the effort or you’ll never get there. But once you get it, you don’t disparage it because of all the toil it took. To me, that suffering makes it all the more satisfying when the medal gets hung around your neck. When you see them take their first steps or ride a bike or just come up and give you a hug because they love you – that makes it all worth while. It’s not a feeling that permeates every second and thought of your life, but it hits you as deep as you get when you feel it.

The other thing is; I can’t name any other beings on the planet –save my children – that I would go to any ends for. If my Sister needed a new liver, I’d hope for her best and that would be it. If my Wife needed one, I may or may not give mine to her. I would have to think about it. But if my child needed one, not the slightest flicker of doubt or fleetest moment of hesitation would delay me from seeing that I would do whatever I needed to do, to save them. If that meant forfeiting my own life, so be it.

That’s what my children gave to me, something I never experienced before in my life: A willingness to be totally selfless and really, without condition or reservation, put someone else before myself. I feel that makes me a better person. That too is a source of happiness with and for myself.


I know I’m not alone in this feeling and it seems to me that most parents would feel the same. This does make me wonder about the sample-group that they used for these findings and also the backers and backgrounds of those conducting the study.

I don't have kids yet but am very much looking forward to it.

While having a child would indeed make me joyful, I don't consider having children to be a requirement for happiness. True happiness is found within and is completely my responsibility. If we look to others to make us happy, we end up controlling them. Too many parents do this without realizing.

Originally posted by Rhain
Bundles of joy turns into heaps of hell.

I started out living the dream marriage then children but my prince turned into punch. So hello single motherhood.

Second attempt at marriage bliss again turned into blah.
...

Guess what was the same in those two marriages? Too many times women choose to mate with men who are not father material, then want to blame it on anything EXCEPT their lousy choice in men.

Children do not "make you happy". In a way, they are like alcohol. They can make a good life better, but cannot make a crappy life into a good life.

In other words, if you already have a good life, having a child can add to that in ways that nothing else can. People who are mostly selfish have the hardest time with having kids, and experience the least joy from it. Perhaps that is why the study shows what it does.

Originally posted by Mad_Hatter

Originally posted by Rhain

Only a man would say kids are great can't wait to have them. You guys get the out when things go wrong.

The courts only tell you to pay for them but they can't make you care for them.

[edit on 2/7/08 by Rhain]

Sorry, but I have to disagree with you here. I think your argument is selfish to the point of being disgusting. To say that you regret having your kids is awful.
For one, I just helped my cousin gain custody of his little girl because the mom was the one who wanted to get out. And second, if I split in a marriage, I would want to keep my kids instead of my wife. It is often the wife that fights heavily for the custody of the kids. I sat through a whole day in divorce court and that is how it seems to work.
The woman fights for exclusive rights to her kids and then complains that the father isn't there.
And in all the cases I saw that day, the dads were sorely disappointed to lose custody.

[edit on 7/2/2008 by Mad_Hatter]

Thanks for the reply M H.

I never said I regret having my kids, no way I love my boys. Did they give me gray hairs, your darn right they did. But I stuck it out through all the hell and high water.

My brothers' wife ran off with his pal and left him with 3 young kids the youngest 9 months. So ya I do know its a 2 way street. But like I said the courts can force you to pay but they can't force you care.

My sons periodically see their dads but its short and only a few times a year.

Calling me selfish is like cutting my throat. I gave my kids my life, my everything and I will continue to do so till they don't need me anymore.

It's just been difficult by myself. No relief, no "wait till your father gets home". My boys don't do drugs, don't steal and are home when its dark. They follow "mommies laws" and thank me for guiding them straight.

Regret naaaah, hard to do yuppers.