The alchemist's search is OVER!!! MAKE GOLD!!!

I just thought maybe you guys would like to read this:

Scientists find economic process for creating gold from base metals

LIVERMORE, California -- Scientists at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory have discovered a process for inexpensively converting base metals into gold, the lab announced Tuesday night at a hastily called news conference. Since medieval times the dream of alchemists has been to make gold, the exemplar of the precious metals, out of lead, the basest of the base metals. Heretofore this has been possible only through the use of particle accelerators and other devices of nuclear mechanics to remove three protons from each lead atom, a process requiring so much energy that it was far more costly than any gold that could be produced.

Hmmmm.

So should I start selling all of our gold jewelry before gold takes a huge hit? very interesting nonetheless.

I for one welcome our golden dinnerware.

Star and Flagged. This is huge news IMO, and has the possibility to send the world economic market in unknown territory.

Hold up...

Something is strange here. The author is "Ben Dover from the San Francisco Comical?"

Now it looks like satire to me.

edit: And the name of the "scientist" involved is Stew Pidasso.




[edit on 19-6-2008 by TheBandit795]

reply to post by jamiros



Thanks for telling me.
I am selling all my bullions ASAP.

BTW, that is not the "gold" that true alchemists are looking for...

Originally posted by jamiros
I just thought maybe you guys would like to read this:

Scientists find economic process for creating gold from base metals

LIVERMORE, California -- Scientists at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory have discovered a process for inexpensively converting base metals into gold, the lab announced Tuesday night at a hastily called news conference. Since medieval times the dream of alchemists has been to make gold, the exemplar of the precious metals, out of lead, the basest of the base metals. Heretofore this has been possible only through the use of particle accelerators and other devices of nuclear mechanics to remove three protons from each lead atom, a process requiring so much energy that it was far more costly than any gold that could be produced.

hahaha

know your chemistry, this is not possible

do a search here for posts of this sort already

reply to post by TheBandit795


That cracked me up when you said their names, lmao. Ben Dover and Stew Pidasso. LFAO,

It's much easier to start with a small piece of Gold, and make it grow.

[edit on 19-6-2008 by ALLis0NE]

reply to post by TheBandit795


Heh,

The lab's announcement was expected to plunge the precious metals markets into chaos. A spokesman for the World Gold Council in London, reached late in the evening on his cell phone at a local club, would say only, "Young women in slinky outfits will look good in gold no matter how much of the stuff is available or where it comes from. Those details hardly matter to us."

Well, if not real gold, the op did manage to strike some good ol' comedy gold. I never tire of reading these satire peices.

While this thread may be a satire piece, I'd suggest checking out this thread:

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Too bad the 'economically' part had too be where the satire comes into play

How could anyone fall for this?

I'm more worried then amused...

Transmutation is possible but only within fusion reactions.

[edit on 19-6-2008 by sardion2000]

Interestingly enough, crossovers between two animals, or an animal and a human were considered "myth" (hippogryphs, minotaurs, centaurs, etc.) Now we have discussions on the ethics and morality of such things. We have experiments going on with human brains in animal bodies, and regulations on what should happen if the animals become SELF AWARE.

Is it so far fetched to envision a time when alchemy will be proven right? I don't think so.

It seems like the further we get technologically, the more the "old myths" seem to be correct. Wasn't it an ancient chinese text of an empress who "traveled to the moon" that said the moon was "hot as fire, and as cold as ice". A total paradox of meaning, until we realize that in the sunlight, it is as "hot as fire" and in the shade, it is "cold as ice".

I'm not saying that alchemy actually works, I'm just saying you should be a little cautious before dismissing it as "impossible". After all, how could anything ever be "hot as fire" and "cold as ice" at the same time?

Edit to add: Love the names on the reports. Oldies but goodies!

[edit on 19-6-2008 by sir_chancealot]

LOL!!!! Funny! Love the names, especially ol' Stew. I think I knew him in college.

Sounds good on paper........ it's just that sticky little thing about electron orbitals and quantum changes in orbital energies. Dangital. Picky little particles. I hate that about them. Just so fussy. "I want more energy before I make the jump up one level in my orbital!" "It's too cold in here! " OR, and this is the worst, it really ticks me off..... "I'm too small to go that far!!! ~whine~ I just don't have the atomic mass waaaah! waaaaah!"

It could drive a person to drink I tellya.

OK... other than feeling a little stupid and mad because I didn't read carefully because I was at work when I got the article, I now have something to laugh with... Anyway, thought it was legit turns out it isn't. The thing is July 17 2007? not April 1? Hmm...

Originally posted by TheBandit795
Hold up...

Something is strange here. The author is "Ben Dover from the San Francisco Comical?"

Now it looks like satire to me.

edit: And the name of the "scientist" involved is Stew Pidasso.

[edit on 19-6-2008 by TheBandit795]

They forgot to give credit to the research assistant of Ben Dover, Ann Holdyer-Ankels.

Is it so far fetched to envision a time when alchemy will be proven right? I don't think so.

When pigs fly and astrology accurately foresees my immediate future in detail. Alchemy is just the Chemistry equivalent of Astrology people.

Sir:
The best illustration of the mass derivatives of the proton and electron is through these equation forms of the collective unconscious constant : note where the integer 18 comes from ...Cheops constructs ( 2/Pi )

( 2 * 143.9999506 / 37 ) - 35
Me 10
--------------- = -------------------------------------------------
sqrt aem 57



( 1 * 143.9999133 / 37 ) - 35
Me 10
---------------- = -------------------------------------------------
666 57



( 2 * 143.9999638 / 37 ) - ( 2/ Pi ) - 37
Me 10
--------------- = ------------------------------------------------------------
37 57




...the proton and electron masses can also be derived from the four fundamental forces of Nature:

aem = fine-structure constant = 1/ 137.0359997 .....exact
as = strong nuclear force = 14 .....exact
Gn = gravitational constant = 6.67428 * ( 10 ^ -11 ) ....exact
Gw = weak nuclear force = .0000116637 ....exact
Me = electron mass = 9.109382136 * ( 10 ^ -31 ) kg .....exact
Mpr = proton mass = 1.672621668 * ( 10 ^ -27 ) kg .....exact
Fd = Feigenbaum delta constant = 4.669201609 ....exact



aem Gn
------------- * 10^-32 * ----------- = Me ....as = 13.99936462
as Gw




aem Fd ^-1
------------- * 10^-33 * ------------ = Mpr ....as = 13.9997156
as Gn




The connection of the pure integers , 37 and 57 , to Pi can be illustrated as follows: radian = 180/Pi
log in base 10


2
-------
Pi
radian
log ( ------------------- ) = - 1.891891731..... collective unconscious constant
57 * 18




sqrt aem
log ( -------------------- ) = - 3.891891565 ..... collective unconscious constant
37 * 18



...stripping the integer 18 ( neutrinos) from the above equations shows the origin of Pi:



2
-------
Pi
radian
log ( ---------------------- ) = - 1.999998282 / Pi ............Cheops constructs ( 2/Pi )
57




sqrt aem
log ( ----------------------- ) = - (1.999997759 / Pi) - 2 .....Cheops constructs ( 2/Pi )
37



...the Cheops constructs ratio ( 4/Pi ) as power function to the radian has an amazing connection to absolute zero ( -273.15 K ) and Eulers gamma ( .577215665 ): radian = 180 / Pi


( 273.1507152 ) Pi / 4
radian = ( ------------------------ )
( 1 + .577215665 )


J.Iuliano