My friend has a gorgeous sister….

Please tell me it would be okay to pursue her : ) Honestly, what do you think? She’s absolutely stunning , she’s 2 years younger than I am and she’s about to enter college I’m 19… she’s going to be attending the same college that Me and her brother are in currently. What to do?...I’d like to date her “later on” keep in mind I’m not talking about “the now” but the “later” ; )

Is it appropriate to date friends ( very close ones) siblings?



P.S. I’m on very very good terms with her/his family I’m always invited over to dinner and the mother…is spectacular in every motherly sense : )
By the way were all Hispanic if that matters at all.


[edit on 11-6-2008 by Seaman_Richie]

If you are on good terms, it should be no problem. I've dealt with some borderline crazy friends and family of ladies, and they will always appreciate a good person in my experience. Asking your friend is first and formost, out of respect. That will get you in good even better then before. If he thinks you would treat her right, it will be no problem. If not, or if he is uncomfortable with it, find another lady because it's not worth losing a friend.

Originally posted by AcesInTheHole
If you are on good terms, it should be no problem. I've dealt with some borderline crazy friends and family of ladies, and they will always appreciate a good person in my experience. Asking your friend is first and formost, out of respect. That will get you in good even better then before. If he thinks you would treat her right, it will be no problem. If not, or if he is uncomfortable with it, find another lady because it's not worth losing a friend.

He's a very good cat but wow..his sister is gorgeous...tough decision indeed only time will tell I suppose.

Going to her brother first is a good idea, see if he's receptive to the idea of you dating her.

If he's fine with it, the other main problem that could arise is if you two start going out and find out somewhere down the road you aren't meant for each other. breaking up could ruin your friendship with the brother, depending upon how the break up goes down. Ideally, there should be more than just her looks that you like about her for this situation to go well. you can't expect a brother to be cool with you treating his sister like a piece of meat.

Originally posted by Seaman_Richie
Please tell me it would be okay to pursue her : ) Honestly, what do you think? She’s absolutely stunning , she’s 3 years younger than I am and she’s about to enter college I’m 19…

.. so she's a sweet sixteen then?

I strongly recommend you tell your friend exactly how you feel about his baby sister.. and be sure to tell us what happens.

Originally posted by riley

Originally posted by Seaman_Richie
Please tell me it would be okay to pursue her : ) Honestly, what do you think? She’s absolutely stunning , she’s 3 years younger than I am and she’s about to enter college I’m 19…

.. so she's a sweet sixteen then?

I strongly recommend you tell your friend exactly how you feel about his baby sister.. and be sure to tell us what happens.

Lol oops I meant she's 2 years younger >< I'll edit that right away, she'll be 18 this year.

Originally posted by ThePiemaker
Going to her brother first is a good idea, see if he's receptive to the idea of you dating her.

If he's fine with it, the other main problem that could arise is if you two start going out and find out somewhere down the road you aren't meant for each other. breaking up could ruin your friendship with the brother, depending upon how the break up goes down. Ideally, there should be more than just her looks that you like about her for this situation to go well. you can't expect a brother to be cool with you treating his sister like a piece of meat.

Of course theirs more then just her looks, personality to me is always next to looks for me when I look into a girl. As for treating his sister like a piece of meat he knows I wouldn't, but then again we've had our conversations....well I have had my conversations with him with past women/ladys/girls (whatever their considered at my age.) so that's the issue...he knows how I am with "flings" but nothing at all with "serious relationships" that's really were the problem lies >

I'd say it depends on the relationship with your friend. if she says yes and you start dating her and one of you breaks the other's heart, will you be able to stay friends? will you want to? normally I'd say ask your friend if it would be ok to ask his sister out on a date but you mentioned they're hispanic. that changes everything.


I'm kidding. the fact that they are hispanic is meaningless. we're all people. what you do, how you react and behave should be the same for one race. the human race. nationalities, colors, religions etc are not factors that should cause us to treat people differently.

do unto others etc.

got a pic? jokes..

Remember your best friend is the person that knows you best of all.
Get his acceptance and then this pretty ladies. Once this is dont get the parents acceptance. Everything should be fine and dandy for a serious relationship

Originally posted by Crakeur
I'd say it depends on the relationship with your friend. if she says yes and you start dating her and one of you breaks the other's heart, will you be able to stay friends? will you want to? normally I'd say ask your friend if it would be ok to ask his sister out on a date but you mentioned they're hispanic. that changes everything.


I'm kidding. the fact that they are hispanic is meaningless. we're all people. what you do, how you react and behave should be the same for one race. the human race. nationalities, colors, religions etc are not factors that should cause us to treat people differently.

do unto others etc.

Exactly what I was thinking, hence why i'm leaning more towards simply becoming a very close friend to her for now... she's young (well so am I but honestly who is "serious" at my or her age...) I'll get to know her better and I'll see were it goes from there. Oh and the reason why I mentioned being hispanic is because i'm hispanic as well : ) Just a little F.Y.I. most Mexican families do not like people of darker skin specifically African-Americans, they might not come off that they don't like them but a majority feel this way :S . (Her mom told me she didn't like them :S )


Thanks for your input!

Originally posted by nahsik
got a pic? jokes..

Remember your best friend is the person that knows you best of all.
Get his acceptance and then this pretty ladies. Once this is dont get the parents acceptance. Everything should be fine and dandy for a serious relationship

A little about my friend, we both get along great we both are majoring in almost similar fields in Computers ( He's going Computer Engineering i'm going for Computer Science.) I've known him for over a year, he was my first "true" friend I made here moving to San Diego. So in general he's a great guy but he knows me at different levels then other people i've met here... : )

arent you disgusted by the fact that she has the same genes that your friend has. I mean same look and everything

doesnt that distort your image of her? I realize that im being stupid but whatever i dont mind asking stupid questions.

[edit on 14-6-2008 by DuneKnight]

Dont do it man, if you are friends with her brother and good friends the there should be a code of honor between her and you, a brother can be protective and i am sure you and him get up to some trouble every now and then.

also if things dont go right with her your friendship with the brother may die.

Originally posted by syress
Dont do it man, if you are friends with her brother and good friends the there should be a code of honor between her and you, a brother can be protective and i am sure you and him get up to some trouble every now and then.

also if things dont go right with her your friendship with the brother may die.

Honestly, my best bet would be wait till I'm near graduating (3 yrs) to persue her...I mean were too young for anything serious...she's going to turn 18 and i'm going to barely turn 20 . As for my friend..I mean i've mentioned it to him before...he really didn't say much other than "Shut UP" lol... but he's a cool guy and I would understand if something were to "happen" between me and her...it would be for the better... I hope.

reply to post by Seaman_Richie


The problem is if you wait she might be taken by the time you get around to pursue her . Providing she is available your best bet would seem to be to seize the moment and go for it .

Cheers xpert11.

Something like this happened with a mates sister and all that happened was he just told me to not be prick to her and I just used to take the piss out of him all the time so I think Its all grand except if hes some sort of over protective bloke.

I suppose he might be a bit more protective than my mate because it was his older sister I got stuck into.

I hate to say it, but the fact that you are planning out when you will persue her really is kind of creepy. Maybe it is just immaturity, I dunno, but you sound almost like a predator. I think you are just so besotted with the site of her that you are not really thinking, either. Your friendship is more important and should override your attraction to her. That is my opinion, of course. I just dont mess with family members of my close friends because of possible hard feelings if we break up. Also- have you thought about the possibility that your friend or his family may have major expectations for you to eventually marry? They may already feel like you are extended family and there could be more pressure if that nature.

i had crushes on my best friend's sisters. i didn't want to take a chance of causing weirdness with anyone though so i never pursued them.

my wife and i hang out with the younger one and her boyfriend more than my friend. i don't have any sisters of my own so i sort of think of them as my extended family - known each other for 14 years or so now. the older sister married another one of our friends and he didn't treat her very well. i got that protective brother feeling and i wouldn't mind kicking his face in if given the opportunity.

bottom line is make sure the brother is ok with it. i had another friend that flat out told us that we weren't to go near his sister. if he's ok with it then just make sure you keep everything on good terms. even if you break up you can do it gracefully sometimes. if you really mess up it can take a while to repair the relationship with your friend.

i would go for it. why not? if she is hot and you have a chance then do it. take lots of pictures too. then when your friend is being not so nice say here i want to show you something.

a man doesn't need "permission" for anything. if your friend's sister is into you and you're into her, your friend is going to have to learn to be okay with it. if you walk around acting like you need permission or need somebody's blessing you're never going to get the highest quality type of women anyway.