My own Immaturity.

I really just wanted to get this down right now. Ive been with charles for 6 years now, he is my father of my children and I havnt been in love with him for a long time now. We recently broke up, but still live together, its a real tough situation. I actually broke up with him to be with my best friend and because he and i have nothing in common and we argue alot. We didnt really talk about the breakup, we came to an agreement. I have alot of feelings for my best friend fred, he is the most amazing person ive ever met, seriously.We have been together, an affair in the past, and i really got hurt, only because fred had morals and didnt want to continue while i was with charles and was waiting for a better situation. and now its here. But fred has commitment problems so i have to hold myself back, because im really afraid to get hurt again. Anyways this is how the immaturity part comes in. Charles has been seeing a former girlfriend that he also has had an affair with. And its just now starting to really hurt me, the breakup,. I mean six years is a long time to give up, and we still live together which makes it very difficult. And i find myself getting very jelous of the new girlfriend. Because i feel like he is mine. and they have only been on two dates, yet he is talking about being in a relaitionship with her. its really hurting me, even though i was the one who broke up with him. I feel so lonely, we were with each other last night and this morning. its like im desperatly trying to grab at something i dont want but need. Yet at the same time i would give anything to be with fred. I guess im not as mature as i thought i was. I just really needed to get that off my chest, i cant really talk to anyone about it because number one its embarrassing and i cant stop crying about the hurt i feel toward charles. how can someone just jump into a meaningful relationship after 2 dates? maybe he is lonely as well.

So you had children with a guy you have little in common with. Now your jealous of his new girlfriend and want him back? Oh no wait... you're saving yourself for another guy... what's his name... Mr. Commitment Phobe??
The sad thing is the real losers are the children.

:shk:

PS- Sorry, you don't sound mature enough to have kids.

reply to post by 23Eulogy23

sorry i can't sympathize with your actions. no offense but you followed your emotions regardless of the consequences which goes against everything I believe in. but I hope you find the happiness that you are looking for.


[edit on 14-5-2008 by DuneKnight]

This is one of those situation where you wanted to have your cake and eat it too. But then again, what good is a piece of cake if you can't eat it.

You need to do some soul searching, and- yes, you DO need to consider your children when you make a decision. Once you have kids, they're part of the package deal.