Christopher Morris Is The Gnostic Messiah.

After many a careless deliberation I would hereby like to take this opportunity to announce that the Anti-Christ is alive and living somewhere in the region of London, England. His name, as stated in the title, is Christopher -- or "Chris" Morris, and he has been active in British television and radio for nearly two decades.

"Oink Oink"

I received this knowledge yesterday afternoon whilst sitting in Zazen, just after being approached on the street by a Jehova's Witness who identified himself to me as "Kelvin," read me a passage from Timothy, then attempted to decapitate me with a grapefruit spoon. I had to trip the theologian over and repeatedly club him in the spine with my 20GB IRiver to quell his attempt on my life! He returned a few hours later and posted two copies of the most recent edition of The Watchtower through my door -- and in the truly absurd fashion that seems to be prevalent throughout my life, the sound these made when they hit the carpeted porch flooring triggered in me a deep, profound enlightenment -- along with the realisation that Chris Morris is the Lucifer.

Don't take my word for it. Listen to Blue Jam, and listen closely.

not wishing to flame anyone....but what the hell are you on with...?

CM is a genius.......

I'm not going to discount you outright, but I was wondering why posts like this are always made by "members" with very few points whatsoever, and very recent registration dates.

Anyway, on topic, what is your purpose in posting this...revelation?

Second, why was this JW fella carrying a grapefruit spoon?

And lastly, do you really think the real Sir Francis Bacon would have agreed with you on this?

[edit on 2/5/08 by an3rkist]

Originally posted by adamclement
not wishing to flame anyone....but what the hell are you on with...?

CM is a genius.......

I consider Christopher Morris to be a genius aswell, my good man. In fact, nobody, perhaps except Robert Anton Wilson, has had a bigger impact on the way I currently view life. I have everything he has ever released, apart from his radio debut shows in the late 80's.

I created this post in jest, and to prove a strange, obscure point. But as was said by Morris and Sir Peter Cook in the title of their absurdist satire project Why Bother?, why bother?

Originally posted by Sir Francis Bacon
I created this post in jest

I foresee it not lasting long...not that I thought it would last long even before you admitted this.

Originally posted by an3rkist
I'm not going to discount you outright, but I was wondering why posts like this are always made by "members" with very few points whatsoever, and very recent registration dates.

Because they're usually always authored by previously banned members taking the absolute piss? I don't know. Maybe all the new members are just crazy?

Originally posted by an3rkist
Anyway, on topic, what is your purpose in posting this...revelation?

To inform all who frequent these boards that Christopher Morris is the Lucifer, of course. No, seriously... I was joking.

Originally posted by an3rkist
Second, why was this JW fella carrying a grapefruit spoon?

Because he was a berserk theologian quite capable of all kinds of madness. Why was he carrying a bible, I may ask?

Originally posted by an3rkist
I foresee it not lasting long...not that I thought it would last long even before you admitted this.

You may foresee whatever you will. Do you really think I would be upset if this thread was deleted or moved?

Originally posted by an3rkist
And lastly, do you really think the real Sir Francis Bacon would have agreed with you on this?

I am Sir Francis Bacon, you fool.

Originally posted by Sir Francis Bacon
I am Sir Francis Bacon, you fool.

Like I said when we first met. Now, to put it bluntly and without resorting to undue violence, you, sir, were far more thought-provoking when you were your actual identity.

Try the iRiver trick on me and you'll have one unpleasant encounter with a razor-sharp, tungsten-carbide-edged cheese grator.