Seeking someone with spirtual knowledge

To help me makes sense of my experience!

I'm not sure if this is the appropriate forum but here goes.

I encountered a demon. I realize that sounds silly to most, and of course I have no proof beyond my testimony. but in my heart and mind I cannot deny my experience, just as none of you can prove, or deny, that you love you mothers, or dogs. So dismiss or engage as you will.

I had a girlfriend. Extremely intelligent, also extrememly emotionally stunted. Her childhood dog died and she didnt, or couldn't shed a tear. But I knew by looking into her eyes that there was a deep well of untapped emotional and spiritual potential inside her, as it is with all of us so-called humans.

So in encouraged her to *feel*. I taught her to laugh, and to cry. Slowly she emerged from her shell that she had walled up against the world; she was able to finally feel the emotions she had suppressed for so long in self defense.

But it spilled out too quickly, it seems. It exploded out of her, she wasn't able to deal with her newfound feelings that she had ignored for so long. Once she began to feel she didn't know how to deal with her percived 'weakness', she couldn't deal with actually caring. It burst out of her, finally bubbling to the surface, unstoppable, in the form of a nervous breakdown.

Unrelenting anxiety. Panic attacks every hour or so. I cradled her as she rocked back and fourth, screaming into a pillow, if I was lucky. Non functional. Totally fu*ked up, a literal basket case. She told me every day that she couldn't stand being herself.

Seems like the only thing that would subdue the pain would be when she cut herself witha razor. Imagine your loved one with bleeding wounds on her arms everytime she went to the bathroom; imagine wondering how far she would go. Imagine seeing her in so much pain that you actually contemplated giving her that razor that was her only release.

Bottom line she asked me to commit her, but the thought of her strapped to a bed in a white room freaked me out, so I told her we would get through it together.

Turns out we did.

We went to sleep side by side one night after a herrendous bout of panic, Adivan the only escape for her. I watched her sleep and wished her an out from her peronal hell. I lied down beside her and slept.

I woke up in a state of sleep paralyisis, which I get from time to time, enough to know what's happening when I do wake up to it. I couldn't move, but I knew not to panic and moved my eyes to my alarm clock; it read 6:15am. My poor lady slept to my left.

*As soon* as I moved my eyes towards the clock, and evil presence entered my feild of vision. It was preceeded by an awful WOOSHING sound, like that out of a horror film. WOOOOSH! I got louder and louder as the demon moved infront of my face. WOOOOOSH! Louder and louder.

This was literally the most terrifying moment of my life. From my left, a disembodied head floated over my face. It was gortesque - something purely out of the most horrific nightmare, but I was fully aware of my situation. This was no dream at least to me. WOOOOOSH!

It was cyclopitc; it had a giant pit where it's eye should have been, in the middle of its face. The lights were low in the room, and the sun had just begun to peek its way through the light curtains. Its face was shrouded in darkness, but I could make out its eye and mouth, rotted and disfigured. The mouth wasn't a mouth at all, but a *pit*, and flaps of dangling flesh hung around it sickeningly. I was as if the mouth was *ripped* into it's face.

The demon emenated pure evil. 3 inches from my face, it sat menacingly, and I could feel it's pure negativity feeding off my terror. I survived on my fear, I realized even in my state of mind numbing horror. It literally emenated all things evil and vile, like corrupted sun rays. Pure evil and fear personified. It hovered in my face and tormented me.

I was paralyzed not only...

[edit on 30-3-2008 by Neo_Serf]

by the sleep paralysis, but by sheer terror. Like Isaid I have never been so scared. The WOOSHING was almost defening at this point; maybe it was my heartbeat?

Moments I lied there, unable to move, horrified. But then something deep in me stirred, something strong and couragous, a higher self of some sort. I gathered myself, somehow in the face of this pure evil, and told it mentally "I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU."

Even thought we both knew it was a lie.

Growing even braver, I decleared to it with all my soul "YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!"

It vanished instantly, in the opposite direction it came from, to my right. It's presence was gone for good, I knew, and I was able to wake up.

In an hour or so my girl woke up. It was like night and day. That day she didn't have one panic attack, and from that morning forward she never cut again. Her anxiety was greatly relieved, and she was able to go to work and actually function. She told me she felt like she woke up from a bad dream, that she didn't really remember the weeks she had spent shaking like a madwoman. Since that day she has advanced so far that she is actually happy and forfilling her potential I always knew was inside her.

So if you made it through all this, I'm asking those with knowlege of such things. Wut the HELL was it? Can you relate any experience of your own to my crazy story?

This was a life defining moment for me - I realized that evil is weak and hollow. It cannot exist in the light, it must be invited in to take hold.

Enough rambling, wut does everyone think? Perhaps I'm the one who's nuts, eh?

EDIT: urrrg 3rd post, clearly I need a spellcheck but not seeing it in the menus here~

[edit on 30-3-2008 by Neo_Serf]

Sounds akin to a Shaman entering the afflicted person's underworld
and coming face to face with the spirit that is damaging/tourmenting them


so how did you break off the encounter?
was anything resolved?

Now you've seen & met the spirit, do you propose to put on your Shaman-healer or Shaman-warrior side of yourself?


(keep us posted....


OH ! I must have been caught between your OP & the follow-up post

so, you just invoked the 'christian' mantra of: Get Behind Me Satan -
(or its equivelent)

--- yo, the problem is not solved, yet ---

Sounds like demonic oppression to me. I haven't personally had any experiences, but I've done a bit of research on it awhile back. It's not the same thing as possession, but it's frighteningly close.

I don't know if you're religious or not, but I'd go through each room and bless the house/apartment. It shouldn't matter which flavor of religion you believe in, it should work regardless.

You know this experience and others have guided me towards the spirtual path. I'm interested in truth from any direction. This experience made realize that evil, or negativity, or destrucive forces, or however you wanna lable them, can only exist in a state of fear(ignorance). I was like as soon as I shined the light on it, whatever that means, it couldn't withstand it. Like turning on a light in a room, the darkness cannot resist a lightbulb. This was similar. As soon as I shined my good intention on it, it disapeared, never to be seen again. I was weak and shallow, totally lacking any substance of its own; it existed purely in lack of *something*, be it love, knowlege or wutever.

She's done awesome since! Not sure she really buys my story, and most don't, which is understandable, but I know it in my heart that the friggin demon came right out of her that day and tried to infest me aswell. Messed with the wrong dude it seems, but taught a *great* lesson that I'll never forget.

I'm not saying im especially brave, I'm just not having any of this evil sh*t in my presence is all~

EDIT- k I'm such a newb, can't find the spellcheck in any of these icons. Need spirtual guidance and a basic lesson in this friggin interface it seems~

[edit on 30-3-2008 by Neo_Serf]

wow, if this happened and the demon went with such ease your a pretty powerful guy, anything i have read suggests a demon can only be expelled by a force more powerful than it is, so a greater power should be invoked, magic or god or whatever, by a human. if you did it without any invocation besides yourself it suggests you are more powerful than it was.

what's your background? what do you think of my suggestion? what level of spiritual awareness would you say you have? has this girl ever mentioned or inferred a demonic aspect to her nervous breakdown?

[edit on 30-3-2008 by pieman]

Problem not solved? Perhaps I'm being nieve, but is sure seemed to vanish from out lives totally from that day forward. Since then we've both been more satified and happy than ever before.

We've since gone our seperate ways, can I conveniently blame the breakup on the demon? heheh~

You were there so my take on it is unimportant. You are fortunate to have each other and this will always piss off an evil entity- human and/or otherwise! (jealousy)

I say phuck em (human or otherwise)!

Just be careful of ego/pride at this point- cause they will build a nest in it and destroy the significance of what happened by attempting to convince those involved of miracles or worse which always lead to the delusion into deity.

Great movie "Bliss". Rent it and watch together- have popcorn, beer and whatever floats the boat.

btw, IMO you both experienced what being human is all about when humanity is at its best.

I am very happy for you both. I just hope you can get some mileage out of this before all the Christians show up and attribute this to God- rather than the real issue which is this is God's gift to humans and you both experienced a real opportunity to be in a moment which was designed- in the grand scheme of things.

No need to fall on the floor in worship- Just fill your mouths with another handful popcorn and make the creator giggle and poke his "angels" in the ribs and say "See, I told you- they get it- not all of them- not all the time- but they do GET IT, once in while... That's why- this is why I DID it!"

Then God looks at all the Christians laying on the floor in praise and wish- "Get the heck up- its really not that big a deal"

Then God winks at the both of you and blows a raspberry at all the Christians fools who attribute this to him! (Kind of like over-calapping or over appalause at something funny a stand-up comedian might say- Then he/she looks at their over-zealous audience member and think "you need to get out more"!

Edit for grammar!

[edit on 30-3-2008 by dk3000]

[edit on 30-3-2008 by dk3000]

[edit on 30-3-2008 by dk3000]

ok, i'm not trying to offer any sort of explanation, and i have never seen a "demon" as you describe, but i will tell you this little story...


About 1997, i was 17, and had moved away from my home to get away from an ex boyfriend. I had gone to london with a friend and had gotten a job etc, life was pretty cool!

we went out one night to this club and i got chatted up by some guy, he seemed ok, but i made it very clear to him that i wasn't interested as i had just come out of a bad relationship and didn't want to be with anyone right now

basically the guy insisted i give him my number etc and he only wanted to be friends, he was very charming and thought, i could use some friends in this new city, so i agreed.

He started coming over to my place, and even started becoming friends with my flat mate, everything was fine

One night, we had dinner, my flat mate had gone to bed early and myself and the guy were in the kitchen, he pulled me towards him and tried to kiss me and he had tried it before and i was getting a bit angry, so i stood up and started having a go at him saying i wasn't into him like this and i thought he understood

the next thing i know, i was flying across the kitchen and had landed on the table, my face was bleeding, he had basically punched me in the face so hard, then i turned round and before i could even do anything he had my carving knife at my throat and was holding me against the wall. I genuinely thought i was going to die

he was screaming and shouting at me and ripping off my clothes, but i tell you i couldn't hear a word he was saying

it was the most beautiful thing ever.... my mind seemed to completely separate from my body and i could feel my soul conected to some amazing spiritual energy and i felt so at peace and at one with everything that mattered, nothing on earth and nothing scary

the next thing i remember was lying on the floor and he was getting off me and said something about he didn't even want to f"^$ me anymore

so yeah, i was raped, but in some way it was the best thing that ever happened to me, as i am not afraid of dying, or of what is out there, or my own soul, your inner self really will save you!

I would say you can use rituals to cleanse the house, and fortify your mind.

You see these demon, whatever they may be, are easily defeated by sheer mental power.

You did the right thing by facing it down and telling it to "**** off" basically.

Whatever religion you ascribe to has prayers which can help you get mental strength. Hinduism and Buddhism have the Durga mantra; Catholics have the St.Michaels prayer (which is my personal favourite) :

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.

It doesnt matter what you say or do. Even if you are atheist you can summon mental fortitude by thinking "There is no such thing as demons, therefore the demon before me cannot exist".

Hope this helps you my friend.

hmm pieman, I'm just a normal dude in most respects, but I have the occasion intense spiritual experience that guides me. I'd like to think I have super powers, but when it came down to it, just me and my cycloptic friend, I just *knew* that it couldn't contest with me, or you, or anyone who knows of pure goodness or love.

You'd prolly do the same my friend.

I love that cyclops, honeslty! He's just a little stupid for living in the shadows, but he came to me for a reason and taught me an awesome lesson~

Accept and love the darkness as well as the light and that evil # loses all it's power, as far as I can tell.

[edit on 30-3-2008 by Neo_Serf]

awesome responses all, nice to get this off my chest without being looked at like a nutcase.

glad you can see the beauty in everything realism. how you can come away from that with a postive outlook is awesome.

dk3000 i hear ya on the ego front, it seems these deamony type beings prey on those who know no better than the chatter in their head. Defintely haven't thought I'm all powerful in anways, as much as I'd like to think I'm a kickass deamon slayer.

Soulslayer I don't live there anymore, place always had a bad vibe.

Thanks everyone, I appriciate the thoughtful responses.

If you are Catholic or Episcopalian I belive they have people who can help with such matters.

Thanks but it seems like everything is OK now.

Why would I have to perscribe to a certain doctrine to get help, if indeed I needed it? If I told you I thought organized religion was a bunch of hogwash could I still be helped?

Not breaking any balls, honeslty just curious.

reply to post by Neo_Serf


You are a kick-ass demon slayer which is why there will always be another one bigger and badder in your presence saying- Really? Try me beyaaatch!

Demons never learn. Not their purpose not their fault.

Grab yer girl and head for the peaceful meadow. They will not follow you there- but they will always listen and respond to your war cry!

Hack off their pathetic heads when they cross your path- but don't go looking for them- you are supposed to enjoy the moment too!

Staying on your toes is very important- so is not being over confident and cocky in being the power to be reckoned with- which you are!

keep them in check or its checkmate!





[edit on 30-3-2008 by dk3000]

I really don't know the criteria for which they would base help on- however I bet your chance increases if you belong to their denomination.
It couldn't hurt to check into though.

I have heard of those that seek secular help in such matters and only find them getting worse.

Hi NS, what an amazing story. There are many others who have experienced demons like you did, you're not alone. And I think you've got it totally right about evil; it disappears when challenged with love, strength and spirituall power. It cannot stand having the light shine on it.

Originally posted by BlackProjects

I have heard of those that seek secular help in such matters and only find them getting worse.

That may be what you've heard, but experience tell us otherwise. There are many "secular" (or those who might be considered as such by otehrs) people that know how to exorcise demons, ghosts, etc. Many of them are called "witches" and others are simply people who are good at such things.

Originally posted by Neo_Serf

glad you can see the beauty in everything realism. how you can come away from that with a postive outlook is awesome.

d

i think i forgot to say that it was the light!! the light inside you did save you from that demon, just as my light must have saved me, i mean, no the dude wasn't a demon in the literal sense, but if a person is bad minded enough to do something like that then surely he has evil in him, and maybe that makes him some sort of demon, the fact that my spirit took over and handled the problem was probably what made him stop, if you get me!

and yeah, you are an awesome demon slayer!! just keep your spirit strong, feel the true force of your inner light grow and engulf everything around you...and remember that love is everything, i believe that if you are a good person and you believe in your self that nothing can truly harm you!

Originally posted by Neo_Serf
Thanks but it seems like everything is OK now.

Why would I have to perscribe to a certain doctrine to get help, if indeed I needed it? If I told you I thought organized religion was a bunch of hogwash could I still be helped?

Not breaking any balls, honeslty just curious.

Of course, re-read my post above.

All you need is mental strength. Where you get that strength from is up to you.