posted on Dec, 10 2010 @ 06:05 AM
Sleep deprivation caused one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, and then I lost my mind.
It was summer and I had turned 18 the previous winter and decided to finally get away from my piss-ache family and live my own life. It almost worked
out too. I moved in with a friend, who was living at his deranged aunts house for free. The time I was there I didn't have to pay rent. I know this
sounds like a crazy situation, and it was. The reason I picked that place to live at was because I literally had no where else to go. And I was
desperate to get away from my family because they are evil. And I mean literally evil, like Satan himself. I won't go into any details, but I'm
still suffering from the things my family has done to me.
The reason I was friends with the guy whose aunts place I moved into was because they had all the same issues I did, we broke the world in half so we
could carry it together on our shoulders heavy issues. Seriously, you don't want to know. Anyway, this friend was a total night owl, and I was on a
completely haywire sleep schedule already. I've had insomnia since I was about four years old. I wish I was joking, but I'm not. I have bouts where
I sleep normally, but insomnia is my regular way of life. I can't handle routine. That's why I'm posting this at four in the morning. Anyway, I
would regularly go about 36 hours without sleep and then I would completely crash out. This was not a problem for me, as I was not working at the
time. Also, being away from my family, who I didn't even talk to or phone or email or anything for a full year was causing me to confront many of the
issues I had. Unfortunately, after losing the apartment that I later got, I am now again living at my fathers house. I have almost completely
regressed. Anyway, the problem started when my friend kept waking me up about five hours after I crashed so that we could go do stuff. This stuff
included rampant drinking out in public in the middle of the night, climbing buildings parcours style and running from the cops. It also included
going to the playground of a local catholic school and screaming random obsenities. "Satan, come out come out wherever you are!", or whatever other
sick #ed up # came to our minds. One of the times we were yelling I randomly screamed something out that had been trapped in my psyche to the point
where I had forgotten all about it. It was sick, #ed up # that had happened to me. The memories started to come back and I didn't sleep for two and a
half days. Then I finally crashed out, and about four hours after I had crashed out, the doorbell rang and I woke up. Across the room from my bed,
there was another bed. It looked like a hospital bed. On the bed there was a giant rat about twice my size. It looked sort of like the characters on
Pixar's Ratatouille. However, that is not where my mind got the imagery, because that movie was still years away. Anyway, this rat had a baby rat
about the size of a child and it was reading it a bedtime story. I was glad that they were there because I was feeling so lonely at that time. All of
a sudden a giant hideous moth flew from somewhere behind me towards the rats. All of a sudden the little rat jumped up and down on the bed, and picked
up a tennis racket, and in German yelled in a playful voice "Schmetterball!", and swatted the moth with the tennis racket and the moth went flying
out the window. Then the rat crawled back into its bed with its mom and I decided to go back to sleep, because this was just a little too much for me
to handle at that point. I have tried to recreate those results with more sleep deprivation since then, but to no avail, because I have no external
source disrupting my sleep, at least not aggressively enough to make me actually wake up. Anyway, my friend told me the next day that he had opened
the door and then decided to let me sleep because I looked like I was tripping. I had been trying to say hello to the rats, apparently. So yeah, I
think that unless something is extraordinary about your biochemistry, or you are very spiritually enlightened, going without sleep for extended
periods of time is a bad, bad idea.