Ladies! I'm finally ready to have children!

Hello ladies. Well, seems that at 35 i've kinda matured. Still don't have a career, collecting Star Wars toys and living with mom. Still, I think it's time for me to move on. So, today I decided to have children. This could be a good thing for the chosen one. Now, I'm not here to ask for anyone to carry my children. That's against the Terms of Service. Not a personals site. Just saying, i'm ready you know? and if you ladies could give me some advice i'm all ears.

Originally posted by jedimiller
Hello ladies. Well, seems that at 35 i've kinda matured. Still don't have a career, collecting Star Wars toys and living with mom. Still, I think it's time for me to move on. So, today I decided to have children. This could be a good thing for the chosen one. Now, I'm not here to ask for anyone to carry my children. That's against the Terms of Service. Not a personals site. Just saying, i'm ready you know? and if you ladies could give me some advice i'm all ears.

Please explain to me how you think having no career, collecting star wars toys, and still living with your mom makes you a candidate for fatherhood.
Unreal.
You say that you just decided this today?
Do you usually deliberate only 24 hours on any given LIFE ALTERING DECISION?
You have no prospects as far as a companion, but in your mind you already have her knocked up and probably chained to the kitchen catering to you and your child...unless of course you are looking for a career woman with a cushy salary to support you while you play with Luke and Darth and the baby is in daycare. They are too smart for that.
If you are looking for some kind of fulfillment in your life or someone to love you unconditionally or whatever your reasoning is.. THAT IS A HUGE RESPONSIBILITY to put on a child. You need to take care of yourself 100% and your mate before you even think of bringing a child into this world.
I believe the total cost of raising a child from birth to 18 at todays costs..not inflated to 18 years from now.. is along the lines of...$250,000.
Gonna hock that
star wars collection to pay for diapers?
Jedi..get your own act together before you even consider this again.
And if you aren't treating this as a dating site..seriously you just worded it correctly enough so as to try to skirt the T&C.
What kind of a response did you expect from the women here?

Hello AD, pardon my ignorance. did you say you were a woman? I don't remember exactly. Saying that, I was just wondering what the guys and gals thought about having children and if 35 is a good time to have kids you know? I always avoided children. they were smelly, dirty and annoying..yet today I figured it would be ok for me to decide I want kids. now do i have someone in mind? no. Just wondering who gots kids and who doesn't and someone to try to convince me why I shouldn't have kids.

My dad had 4 little girls when he was 65. My dad was a true ladies man. He had kids all over the place..that's why I didn't want to be like him. but then again, just because of his failures that's not going to stop me from starting my own family. hope that explains some more.

i'm just going to say, i think this is all a very bad idea. :shk:

Originally posted by jedimiller
Hello AD, pardon my ignorance. did you say you were a woman? I don't remember exactly. Saying that, I was just wondering what the guys and gals thought about having children and if 35 is a good time to have kids you know? I always avoided children. they were smelly, dirty and annoying..yet today I figured it would be ok for me to decide I want kids. now do i have someone in mind? no. Just wondering who gots kids and who doesn't and someone to try to convince me why I shouldn't have kids.

My dad had 4 little girls when he was 65. My dad was a true ladies man. He had kids all over the place..that's why I didn't want to be like him. but then again, just because of his failures that's not going to stop me from starting my own family. hope that explains some more.

Yes..Iam a woman. Listen you just stated that you avoided children your whole life because they were smelly , dirty and annoying. Do you think anything that comes from your loins will be different? Iam telling you that this is NOT the time in your life to have children. You don't even take care of yourself. Harsh but true.
I will commend you on the fact that you see the wrong in the actions of your father, and wanting to be different.However..get yourself a career, move out of your mom's house, meet a nice girl and THEN you can discuss this.

well I wouldn't be making the decision on whether to have kids or not until I'm in a stable relationship and somewhat financially secure. Living with your mom isn't the best situation if you're thinking of starting a family. Kids require a lot of effort, time and money and you should be able to provide all of that without burdening anyone else before making the decision.

granted many people get into situations and find themselves in less than perfect conditions for raising a family but they still manage to make it through... the way you are describing it, it just seems like a casual decision and not one you seriously thought all the way through.

If you have kids, they will be smelly and dirty unless you clean them. As for annoying... well all kids have their moments and it cannot be avoided. If you feel this way about kids now, what makes you think your kids will be any different?

anyway, I don't think you should be making this decision by yourself, you need to be discussing and making a decision like this with your partner.

Originally posted by AccessDenied
However..get yourself a career, move out of your mom's house, meet a nice girl and THEN you can discuss this.

And you are so right about that. But sometimes when I meet a chick I sense that all they want is kids. Remember I told you I was married before? well, she wanted kids and I didn't. Reason she left me. I suppose your right about that being a woman yourself. Thanks for the honest truth.

reply to post by jedimiller


jedi,
I urge you to reconsider this.

If you were to have children then I doubt you would have much time to give to ATS due to your fatherly duties, thus denying us of your illuminating and informative threads and posts.

I give him props for at least giving it a thought before just going ahead and impregnating someone.
And I am only half joking there. So many babies are born unplanned and unaware of just how crappy life is gonna be for them due to who conceived them.

I for one who has the means, is in a stable marriage, great family background and with a good education am still debating whether my husband and I should grace this horrible world with any offspring of our own. I feel I'd be irresponsible for doing so, with all that's going on today. The world's supposed to end in 2012 ain't it ?

On the other hand it would be a waste of good genes if I don't bear child hmmmm
lol

Seriously though, I don't know if I want to become a mother, as wonderful as I think I would be as one, and often wonder if something is just wrong with me.

Everyone else just does it right ? *Shrug*



[edit on 4-3-2008 by ImJaded]

Play the deke from Mommy's house Part Deux, exit, stage-left post-haste, Snaggle-Puss. 35? Male? Lives with "Mommy-Dearest". Mmmmkay. Advice from a male... grow up; you already blew the almost-perfect "deal" once.

I'm sure she's doing fine. Just fine. What do you possess that might make you attractive to the sex-fairer that might make child-rearing a conceivably "doable-thing" from the female perspective? Limited edition Millenium Falcon with shot-spots and light-sabres with dead batteries ain't collateral other than "damage". You want a woman to voluntarily chattel-mortgage her butt to you? And your're mate-shopping where? On the internet? Good luck with that.

Kids? $300K minimum per to do a half-ass job, last time we checked. Money aside you'd never survive the responsibility without damaging your progeny's chances for a full and happy life. Children, real human children are not appliances or Star Wars fantasy characters... they are family. Ready or not.

Vic

[edit on 4-3-2008 by V Kaminski]

Well I have to say that I do hope that you are being facetious. Having a child isn't something that you just wake up one morning and decide to try.
When you have a child, that child becomes your life. When that child comes to you asking why this, or that happens, they rely on you to be there to answer and explain until they understand.
Your needs suddenly become secondary.
Do you have health insurance? Would you have health insurance for your child, not to mention the mother of your child?
I don't know you. You might be the greatest person who ever lived, but think about what you are saying. Children are not action figures which you can put on a shelf and let collect dust.

You know what, I say go ahead and have a kid - but make sure it's with someone you love a lot, who's loyal to you and won't go running off with the baby and then bleed you for child support....

And make sure she likes Star Wars too!

reply to post by jedimiller


Right. :shk:

Just keep the kids away from the microwave hot dog experiments.

Where does this string lead?!

reply to post by Lysergic


That's a rather cryptic thing to say Lysergic, what do you mean?

Lysergic is as random as it gets, and that is half the fun of his posts.
WIDE open for interpretation.
Definitely a road I care not to travel.

People are taking jedimiller seriously? I seriously think dude is just trolling and having with us...

I suspected this of him from like his first thread, that hot dog thread.... You telling me that wasn't an attempt at sarcasm or humor?

I think the same thing is going on here, he posted seeking reactions and he got them.

reply to post by Roland Deschain


Roland..you could very well be correct.
:shk:

reply to post by Roland Deschain


I really... really...rrreeally hope he is. God, I PRAY he is.

Originally posted by Roland Deschain
People are taking jedimiller seriously? I seriously think dude is just trolling and having with us...

Hey, people naming their screennames after me, people styling their sigs after mine - why not?