Murder/Suicide has now directly touched MY family! What will YOU do, when it touches yours?

After reading about the tragedy in lightseeker's family, I have to tell
about the tragedy in my family...

On March 5, 07, my beautiful, young cousin (Bridget Ann DeCleene, 21)
was stalked, abducted by force, held over night against her will, and
shot to death twice with a 12 gauge shotgun! It happened in Sycamore,
Illinois.

Oh, dear God!

I cry when I think of the horrors she suffered that night, ALL NIGHT, at
the hands of such a human monster, YOU KNOW????

No-one came to save her as she screamed for mercy; single seconds
must have lasted hours.......

When he was finished with her, (God help us all),

the 'man' who did this (robert bevington, 63) then set his place on fire,
and shot himself to death! We have been dealt such a devastating blow
by this cowardly act of spite, or lust, or evil, that it's hard to recover.

Since I am very new here, I don't know how to add links, or qoutes, or
sources; but here is one: sycamorepd.com

Under "press center" 'Murder/Suicide investigation', and 'bodies in fire
identified'. Plus my friends tell me to just Google her name.

Because the Sycamore Police knew about this man stalking Bridget,
anger & blame were directed at them...and her father moved the family
to Aurora, to avoid this sick individual, but 'bevington' found her.

Nothing can fill the black hole in our family. Society does not stop,
for murder, the way it should.

It used to be something that happened "somewhere else"; or "to
someone else". Not any more.

Do you have a family member who is experiencing ANY type of
"wierd" advances, emails, phone calls, unwanted visits, or other abnormal
behavior from an outsider? if you do, then

TAKE ACTION NOW!!! Or you could end up very sorry, like lightseeker
and me.

As the family soldier, my kin thought it best not to tell me about this 'man'
who was stalking Bridget, because they were afraid of what I might have
"done to him". . . . . . .

All I can say to that is: yes, be afraid, for I feed a wood-chipper to make
my living;AFTER cutting it all up with a large chainsaw!

But that's just me. And calm as a cuke.

What might YOU do ? upon learning of such a person threatening your
loved one? Or as you gather, upon news she is "MISSING"? or when the
local detectives arrive to say "We need her dental records, for identi-
fication" ? Or when they say "Yes, her stalker is responsible for her
murder" ???????

Awaiting response; to educate myself on how to best protect my family.
I am Godfather to several children in my family, and would love to start
a group of like-minded Godfathers and family members, dedicated to
identifying and 'eliminating' threats like these to good families everywhere
ONE WAY or ANOTHER; ya know?

Just curious, it says in your profile under "more stuff you should know about me", that you are a Catholic.

Have you received any advice from your priest on this?

reply to post by ben91069

Yes, I have Ben- thanks for asking.

I attended lots of additional masses after the tragedy, waiting afterwards
to speak with our Priest, and any others.

They said to "forgive". But, of course I knew that my whole life, starting
as an Altar Boy. Just harder to actually do it in the face of such a heinous
criminal's despicable act.




[edit on 3-3-2008 by FRIGHTENER]

Its easier to forgive, when we understand what makes it easy.
If its hard to forgive them, then its probably not going to make you feel much better to forgive them.
I pray you find peace in your heart in dealing with all of that.
It is hard, but when we do finally get to a point where we rejoice in forgiving someone for such an act, there is not much that we cannot understand from then on!

Originally posted by FRIGHTENER
They said to "forgive". But, of course I knew that my whole life, starting
as an Altar Boy. Just harder to actually do it in the face of such a heinous
criminal's despicable act.

True, but that is one of the measures of testing how strong your faith is. Not that I can say I would do anything differently, sometimes time is what one needs.

My sympathies.

reply to post by psychedeliack

Thanks for your decency, psych-

You know, there was TONS of anger and wrath, along with lots of crying
and sadness, mostly from Bridget's young friends;

I was in the minority, quietly suggesting "forgiveness" to another uncle,
who said nothing. Felt like an obsolete, God-fearing old-fashioned type.

First let me extend my deepest sympathies to your and your family. Nobody should ever have to go through or have someone they love go through anything like this
Unfortunately, it happens and I hope in time you and your family can get past this and hurt less.

My cousin was senselessly murdered by her husband a while ago and it has taken me up until now, some 2 years on to begin to think about forgiving him. It is tough and I take comfort in knowing he is rotting in jail for it, at least for a while - part of me wished him dead for a long time, but that's not right, natural to feel this way, but not right.

These animals will answer to God in due time and He shall dole out the repercussions of such inhumane acts. I hope, being a religious man, you can find some comfort in knowing that.

Bless.

reply to post by ImJaded

Thanks for the note, ImJaded, very nice of you.

So sorry about your cousin, too. Glad the man is in jail. I'm almost
relieved that my cousin's murderer took his own life, so the rest of our
family won't have to look at him across a courtroom; as you must have
had to endure.

The Lord's prayer took on a whole new meaning for me, after Bridget's
murder, that line: "as we FORGIVE those who tresspass against us" . . .

Heavy.

frightener-

I grew up with Bridget in oak park. Dan called on march 7th '07, and my dad hung up the phone and put his coat on. I asked him what was going on, and he said that Bridget DeCleene may have been murdered. He wouldn't let me go with him.

The news was devastating. I never felt so useless in my life. For all the protective measures I take for all my family and friends (especially at college), I was worth about as much as a rupee. From your first post, I know you can relate.

Like you, my first reaction was revenge. Immediately that fiery hatred ignites and you just want to spill evil's blood. And while I can't honestly say that this emotion is gone, I can tell you (and you know already) that Bridget would never have stood for it. That, and the cold fact that there's simply no target for my obscenely violent imagination's suggestions, help me to sleep a little better at night.

I don't really plan on using this board much, I just felt the need to throw in my thoughts here. I'm sure the board will email me if there is a response posted, but feel free to email me as well.

I've always liked the phrase, "Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives."

While Bridget was taken far, FAR before her due time, she lived life to the fullest, and we have to honor that by remembering her forever.

-Kevin

reply to post by Grinder01


Grinder01, my friend, you are right, Bridget's innocence would not
tolerate harm to a single living thing!

Thank-you for your compassion & love, Bridget would appreciate your
& everyone's calm, cool attitude in the face of such unspeakable terror.

I sort of grew up in Oak Park, partly, due to the DeCleene family living
there for so many decades!

I suffered alot of violence in my day, but survived. Bridget suffered it
once; and did not...

I've developed a whole new idea about insane, sick predators. And i know
exactly how to handle it, should there be a 'next time'. Action must be
taken immediately, upon that first "odd" call, or email, or uninvited
advance, or unexpected intrusion at the workplace or home.

You would not believe how my network of brothers, cousins, nephews,
uncles, friends, aquaintances, classmates, co-workers, neighbors, and
even strangers have lent their support to me and my family over this
atrocity! They have vowed to step up for me/us if needed. And maybe i'm
just a worker, but these allies consist of doctors, lawyers, cops, military
service personell, a priest, security officers, fellow militia brothers, and of
course, all my tree buddies.

They say the same thing as you, ON the record... but most have family
also; including many children, (who i keep getting asked to be Godfather
to); and OFF the record, would all join me, if i had to visit such a creep
like robert bevington, in the event of an emergency intervention in the
future, if need be!

God bless you, for joining us in keeping Bridget's memory alive-
I've vowed to keep posting her name, and her story, until the day i die.

reply to post by FRIGHTENER


sorry for your loss------my wife and i have a son and daughter-----that left and have gone their own ways.they are both in the military now as of 23 years of age.

we tried to bring them up to love G-D and respect fellow humans------it was a battle the whole time as they insisted on doing it their way and caused my wife and i plenty of grief with visits from the police and complaints from neighbors.

we are greatfull nothing worse happened to them and that they didn't hurt others that we know of while living with us.

i'm 61 and couldn't even begin to comprehend how an older person could be/do such evil to another human being.

i'm afraid too many parents do not or cannot for whatever reason bring up their kids to have respect and love for others and i believe the judicial/legal police system is too soft on criminals.

if you were allowed by them to find out what this guys past record is ,more than likely he has been an ongoing source of trouble most of his life.

a guy i worked along side in the government/military complex has a daughter that made the mistake of dating a guy once-----finding out that he was nuts-----and telling him that she wanted no more to do with him---but he started to harass her---follow her around--non stop phone calls--show up at my buddies house wanting to see her----buddy told him to get lost---it didn't disuade the guy-----so they got a court order from a judge forbiding the guy to come to the house or have any contact with her---the guy just ignored the court order.all the police could /would do is keep telling the guy to stop and the judge did no more.

buddy is a big guy so is his son---they had to twirll the guy in circles with some rough bouncing back and forth between father and son before the guys brain started to function normally---maybe for the first time in his life.

its too bad it had to come to that but his parents apparently couldn't teach him how to conduct himself civily so someone else had to teach him.

i thank G-D that my wife and i have not been placed in such a situation as you have endured or as my buddy---he didn't enjoy 1 little bit being forced to have to take physical action to protect his family because of the failure of the judicial system.

reply to post by yahn goodey


Thank-you, yahn, for your condolence, i appreciate that very much.

Sorry for any grief you suffered because of your children, but it sounds
like you instilled great qualities in them, that they will never abandon.

My father beat me near to death for many years, and subsequently i got
into alot of trouble, as a juvenile, and continuing into my 20's, getting
arrested for bar-brawling; being drunk & angry leads no-where! So i think
i understand youthful rebellion.

You're right about parents & police being a little soft these days, leading to
dis-respect and contempt for society.

You are correct about the 'man' who murdered my cousin- he was in lots
of problems with the law, in & out of mental institutions, and estranged
from his family.

I'm glad your buddy knocked some sense into the creep who bothered his
daughter; however, now he might be REALLY angry, so he shouldn't let
his guard down.

One very disturbing fact about Bridget's murder, is that her father finally
had enough of robert bevington, and threatened him with violent murder
if he came near her again; 3 days later, she was dead...

I'm pretty sure murder/suicide is like lightning in terms of the chances of it touching your life. I am also pretty sure, like lightning, murder/suicide will generally only strike once.

I believe Freud wrote a paper on it.

reply to post by Excitable_Boy


Thanks, Excitable_Boy, much appreciated!

Hope you're right about the lightning reference...

But i fear this type of thing is on the rise in the USA. Hear about it all the
time now. Mostly disgruntled or angry types who "lose it", and grab their
guns to go on a killing spree, then shoot themselves as cops close in.

Usually very hard to prevent. But in the case of my cousin, Bridget, the
'man' was stalking her for a while; and i didn't know it...

Frightener..just like anyone else I am sorry for your loss. The circle of life isn't always so round, and the things we deal with in this world are sometimes hard to grasp.

As you know I work as a LEO in the State of Georgia and before here I was one in PA. Stalking is against the law but very hard to prove. The main problem is defense attorney's and such a poorly written law. So based on the absolute law asking the Police to do something about it is tough. What happens is the cops follow and borderline harass this clown trying to catch him and with a good attorney the tables are turned and guys like this scum get to sue for money because his "rights" are being infringed...even though we know the guy is up to no good. Its FRUSTRATING!!! :bnghd:

Now on a person level I will answer in a much different way. The badge I carry and I am proud of forces me to follow a law that was written for the betterment of society. But I will never allow a law written by those who live under constant protection to dictate my families future. So IF someone were to be stalked in my family and I found out who, he and I would meet in such a way that the stalking WOULD end...that my friends is a promise. I feel for anyone who has delt with this and would never charge or arrest a father, brother, relative, etc PROTECTING their family members. DO I advocate murder...no, but I sure as hell advocate protection of your loved ones. This life is screwed up enough and we deal with enough crap....we don't need the added worry that one of our young children or innocent relatives be the target of some sick MF'r!

Now for my final view. Our society is to blame for people of this nature. We know they are sick twisted careless people, yet we make excuses for them, and society as a whole could care less...UNLESS...they happen to be or know the victim. Its amazing how Americans look the other way unless it involves them, then everyone else should jump to their aid. In this scenerio I'm sure many knew this scumbag was a danger...No I don't mean the family I mean just people.....its amazing how many know what people around them are capable of but don't want to get involved. We lost the true meaning of neighbors in most places and the true meaning of friendship....in America these days its all about "ME" and MONEY...after that MIGHT come family....we have lost our way to allow scum like this to walk free or to live at all.

I am religious, and love the LORD...and to forgive is a great trait...but very tough. Its an ongoing conflict in life to kill/punish someone who destroyed your world or harmed your family. Its moments like those that test faith, test morals, etc....I guess I would try and try to be the bigger person but in the end my own justice may be all that calmed my nerves or hearing a father/relative killed his families murderer would bring a feeling of relief. It's easy to sit and say DO NOT seek punishment, DO NOT seek revenge, etc....and for those who can I commend you all. Maybe a good bitch session and screaming to get that anger out is all you need...

I know I have been rambling on here maybe not making much sence...but its me thinking out loud about a poor 21 year old girl who without reason was taken from a loving family. Its the kind of world I work in everyday...these men are the kind I talk to, handcuff and send to prison...maybe I am to the point of feeling like GOD's Angel GABRIEL and should just take this scum out back and rid this world of them all. These are the things I deal with and they don't even come close to the things innocent victims have to deal with.

God gave us free will...to make choices that will either guide us to him in the end, or send us to eternal damnation. I just wish sometimes we as people (fathers, friends, brothers, mothers, etc) could make the judgment for him....

Frightener and to all who posted who have been through tragedy....stay strong, and pray....the healing power of GOD is unbelievable, and know that one day, somehow, someway...those who brought pain to your lives will pay......OH HOW THEY WILL PAY!!!!

reply to post by rcwj75


Thanks very, very much, rcwj75- your words are priceless.

Wish I had the chance to talk to the cops about the murderer, robert
bevington, (i refuse to ever put his name in capitals) BUT, my family didn't
tell me about him stalking Bridget! Now, i don't care to.

Glad you feel that way, on your own personal level. Just how you would
end his criminal stalking, i can only imagine... ME? I would have to say
that i would be tempted to bring him to my wood chipper, and threaten to
make him part of an accident; if he didn't move 1000 miles away.

Good to hear from a law enforcement officer who thinks for himself, and
wouldn't let silly laws get in the way of protecting families from such evil
dangers!

Like you, rc, i believe in God, and hope he's with us all. I'm finally return-
ing to normal, after a year, now. Staying strong and keeping faith is what
i do. Especially being Godfather to several children in my family, to set a
good example; and keep in close contact with them.

You are welcome friend...and remember, your work is not done. You have others to look after and take care of. What you mentioned to me is a great idea, get to know the guys your girls hang around. Plant it in their heads that your watching out for those girls and WILL NOT let anything happen to them. As I said, I think making MORE allies who are willing to also watch over them is a great thing.

Good luck and anytime I can be of service...ask!

reply to post by rcwj75


Thanks again, r c ; Darn right i'm keeping closer contact with the youngin's
of my huge family!

Most of 'em weren't even born by the time i hit jails, hospitals, psych
wards, de-tox's & re-habs a few times each!!! (i was quite the drunken
bar-brawler in the 80's), but they love & respect me more than i ever
imagined...They love me, and i love them,,, and they LOVE hearing some
of my stories from back then! (edited for content, of course!)

And their parents, (my aunts & uncles) smile at how well connected i am,
and how many of my friends tag along, with me & my little brothers to
some of our enormous gatherings! TONS of allies!

I appreciate you offering to be there for me; and i the same. Who knows,
it's a small enough world, may even get to meet up some day... i lived off
my motorcycle for years; even rode down in S.C. and Ga, too!

You bet! Yeah I know kids, they love to hear war stories...lol. Whether from your side or mind they don't care, they just wanna know all about it. Good thing is your past experiance..no matter if it was negative is something that helps you help them. When/If they start experimenting with drugs, or drinking...its actually nice to have someone who can releate what NOT to do. And trust me, kids listen to guys who have been there and done that.....

No problem...it is a small world..and people you would never expect are those who can come through for you or try atleast when you don't expect it.

People always ask me, do I ever get to be friends or ever like a criminal, or someone I run into during my job. You know, I have. They did some stupid stuff...who hasn't....but overall they are good guys mixed up in bad stuff. After some maturing and seeing the light they realize how dumb it was...then they show their true colors. And when they do, they are usually very cool to be around.

So take that experiance you got and guide your young ones right my friend....at the rate this worlds going who knows how much time we have left to do it right.

reply to post by rcwj75


You're so right, r c...

One of my little nephews (age 7), made me keep repeating my story
about one of my tree-forts i built, back when i was 9 or 10; because my
friends were too scared to climb up that high!

Yep, i got a little shame from my past; embarrassing myself & my family;
but it's nice to turn it positive when i talk at AA or to the kids. (You can
hear a pin drop)! I saw the light, and walk a very determined walk, now!

Sober for over a year now, after a short slip, when Bridget was murdered.
14 yrs before that!

Yeah, the way the world is headed, makes me scared, angry, and sad all
at once, ya know? glad to be one of the "rough men" standing ready...