posted on Feb, 13 2008 @ 11:52 AM
It was cold outside, so much so that I had multiple layers of clothes on. I could feel the insides of my nostrils freeze with each small breath.
With each step I felt less secure than the previous.
If I could explain, it would be like stepping deeper into the night until all that is left is pitch black. You know the area in front of you is
empty of objects, but because you cannot see, the mind starts to play tricks on you.
Now consider that it is daytime and my eyes are open and functioning.
There is a city here with streets and buildings, all of which are completely empty. There are no animals roaming the area and there are no
corpses. Just my foot prints in the snow behind me keep me sane and verify that I have indeed moved from place to place. If I were to see footprints
in front of me, I don't know if I could follow them or if I would turn and hide.
I stepped slowly into what appeared to be a bar. There was no heat inside, but there was also no wind. I sat down on a stool and imagined there
were people around me. The bartender asked me what I was drinking, and I answered, “Just a water please”. There was no water in front of me and
I woke from my trance.
I never wondered what it would be like to be truly alone. Not once. I lived a good life, single, but not too many friends. I had a good job
with retirement benefits and insurance. I do not know how I got here, to this place and this time. I awoke in a field, perhaps a park not far from
here. I was naked and freezing. I quickly found a clothing store and clothes to keep me warm. And with each passing moment I have come to the
current situation in which I find myself now in.
I tried to use the phones but not one produced a dial tone. There is no electricity but water does seem to flow from the pipes.
I am trying to stay alive, that is my main focus. My mind however is like an antenna that is not picking up any signals. The thoughts are
coming slow and the ideas are all but stalled. To be truly alone, I realize that whatever I do is to never be realized. I could write a story, but
who would read it. I could paint a picture, but who would admire it. I could play an instrument, but who would sway to the sound. And my heart
aches. It had not ached for a long time. Once when I was younger and a young woman told me we were done it had ached. I had loved her so, but over
time the ache stopped.
Now it ached to hear a voice, a companion, a soul who could make me feel, something.
Ah the bar. For a moment I forgot I was here. I walked behind it and fetched some water. It was cold and quenched my thirst. Along time ago,
I would have said refreshing.
I prayed for someone to find me, or for me to find someone. Not sure who I was praying to though. I used to believe in god, a higher power you
might say. But now there was nothing to distract me, and I hear nothing coming from the divine, the sky, outer space, my brain, or anywhere.
I see the snowflakes fall separately and then land on top of one another. The comfort they must give each other. To melt into one another and
then become one. Perhaps everyone else has melted into me. Ha.
I so want to wake from this dream. I want to get up and go to work with people around me. I don't care if they are different, only that they
are there. And I will be there for them.
Continued .......
[edit on 13-2-2008 by mtmind]